Stewardship – AHAmoments

I love how clean everything looks and feels after rain. The air is a little drier, softer, cooler. The sun is not so oppressive. The grass appears to green up instantly. That might be my favorite part, the almost instant change in the foliage. It is amazing to me. Almost as amazing as how quickly it gets back to the way it was before, miserably HOT. The sun seemingly glaring at me, right in the face. The cool clean has evaporated since I began to pen this post, or key it, but that just does not sound as fun.

Anyway, it gets me thinking on fall and my favorite time of year. The holidays. I know we still have many HOT days (more like weeks and closer to months, really) left ahead of us in this part of the world, but I can not help it. It means cooler evenings. Sweaters (eventually anyway). Fires in the pit. Fuzzy horses. Foggy breath. Christmas music. Food and baking. Family and friends. The season of thanks and giving. The reason for the season and this beautiful life we live here on earth with all of God’s handiwork.

It also gets me thinking on difficult things. Things of the not so distant past. Anniversaries all the same. Anniversaries typically get me thinking of happy memories. Like Weddings. Birthdays. Big occasions. But. They are not always happy things, are they? Such dichotomy within a word, no?

A happy anniversary comes up in a few days. One year since the beginning of this blog! That is pretty exciting! Something that I thought about for such a long time and coming to fruition, and sticking with it. What an amazing journey it has been so far and I have you, dear readers, to thank for it.

My nephew turns 5 (how did that happen??!!!!) at the end of this month. Very happy anniversary of his life.

September. September will be two years since we had to put our first horse, Mansebo, down. Woof. That was terribly hard. Even still. Especially as I try to mentally prepare myself, if that is even possible, for when that day comes for Apache. That is the hardest part about having animals and being their stewards, but the very most important from my eyes. BUT. September is also my Grandmother’s birthday! So, I focus on that.

Then, there is the big one. The one that has not happened yet. In November. I still do not quite know how to even say it. It feels like a bomb almost every time I do. Sometimes when I say it, I want to duck and look around. The anniversary of my Uncle’s death. Anniversary seems like the wrong word, but that is what it is. I still have moments where it just hits me. Sometimes sad. Sometimes mad. Sometimes still shocked and dumbfounded. At the time and in the moment it was just all so surreal. Like it wasn’t happening. Like it was just all one big, bad, increasingly long nightmare. It has slowly turned into reality. The new normal, as they say. That normal will evolve and change as the days and years go by. We are all changed. What it will bring in November, I do not know. But. I do know this. We will all gather and be together for Thanksgiving. Be in an attitude of thanks and giving. Focus on that. Focus on celebrating life and what we have to be grateful for. Focus on the happy memories. I am going to choose to focus on that. Yes, it will be hard, but it is our call and it is necessary. I want to remember how encouraging and faithful he was. Remember his love for the kids. My deserts I will bake for him.

But just like storms roll across the sky from here to there, the storms in our lives come and go. Both bring what comes after. The blue sky, clean air, and green grass. The Aftermath. Some storms take longer than others and some sure feel like they circle around and back up and just sit there overhead for a while, dumping buckets, but they always roll on, if you let them.

This post may seem premature to some since it is only, um, August. To me it is just a natural evolution and progression and it is what is on my mind. So I decided to share. No, it is not easy and I feel vulnerable, but it is what IT is all about.

Thank you for being here and being you. I appreciate y’all.

How many times can I say ‘it’ in a single post?

Walk in love, dear readers. Have a great Thursday!

I once wrote a scholarship essay about stewardship. Well, the prompt may not have been directly about stewardship, but stewardship applied and was the point of my essay. Stewardship of the land. I think I was awarded that scholarship. That is not the point of this post though.

The point is, we are stewards. Have you ever thought about it? Stewards of ourselves. Stewards of the land. Stewards of our animals. We are care takers. AHA moment. To me, it is my most important job to be a good steward of my animals and their land. It is not always easy and it is not always fun. It is the price we pay for the great things they give us.

Yesterday, after work, I drove out to the farm in blistering, strong winds to throw extra feed to the horses and cows and to blanket the old man, Apache. I do this every night it gets really cold. Luckily for me, I live in the southern half of Texas and we do not have ‘real’ winters. Did I want to drive out there in less than favorable conditions to be cold and dirty? Then to wake up at 5 AM to feed again and get back to town before traffic and work. Pick hay out of my hair all day at work. Not really. Especially because I could not ride (how selfish of me). I will turn around after work today and do the same thing. However, it did me more than good to see them and know that they were alright, would be comfortable through the night. They needed me. They depend on me, and to be honest, I depend on them.

I am so grateful for Apache. He has taught me so much in my life. Lessons I am not sure I would have learned from any other horse I have come in contact with. He is the one that really ‘got my goat’ when I was younger. He has the attitude and personality of a naughty pony, just in horse size. Anyway, now that he is 30+ years old, I am having a hard time watching him age. We do not know much about his life before he came to be with us. He has been a great horse. He has really started to show his age since we lost Mansebo and that is the hardest part for me. I do not want to think about when his time comes. He will let me know what that is, just like Mr. Man did. Until then, I am happy to do whatever it is he needs. I will blanket him when it gets cold and feed him to his heart’s content. Get the burrs out of his mane and tail. Do whatever I can to make him comfortable and will not always be easy.

What is the most important thing to you that you are a steward of and why? What sacrifices do you make?

Walk in love, dear readers, and stay warm.

Farm weekend with the horses and dog for me. Christmas festivities with the nephew and niece Sunday!

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