Tune Tuesday

It is Tune Tuesday today.

I can not skip it. You have to hear this and soak it in.

It made me smile.

So, take a load off for four minutes and thirty six seconds. A less than five minute break. Yes, I realize it is not even nine in the morning. Shh. Get another cup of coffee or treat yourself to a tea with lemon.

I’m going down on the Nueces River
Gonna call my brother, ask him to meet me there
On the surface will be two men fishing
Down below we are brothers with a love to share

I’m gonna lay my burdens down now
Gonna ask the Lord to watch them a while
I’m gonna walk where the sun is shining
I’ll be home when I have found a smile

There is a salt cedar tree that I know of
It can take a breeze and make a melody
I’m gonna climb up in those branches
And ask if it would whisper its secrets to me

I’m gonna lay my burdens down now
Gonna ask the Lord to watch them a while
I’m gonna walk where the sun is shining
I’ll be home when I have found a smile

There’ll come a time when the world is level
There was a time when the mountains grew
Then there is all that is here in the middle
And how it’s spent is up to me and up to you

I’m gonna lay my burdens down now
Gonna ask the Lord to watch them a while
I’m gonna walk where the sun is shining
I’ll be home when I have found a smile

~Max Stalling

Are you smiling?

Walk in love, dear readers, where the sun is shining.

Onward & Upward

Yes, 2020, you have been a gem so far.

I can not help it with these memes, sorry, I am not sorry. They are just so apt.

Really though, at this point, I want to scratch out ‘2020’ in that first one and put in its place, ‘The Whole Of The Past Twelve Months.’

Well actually, ‘The Whole Of The Past Twelve Months And One Day.’

A year ago yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I had to make that terrible awful decision and actually act on it. My life has not been the same since and I do not think it will ever be the same again, and not just because of that fateful day.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

I miss everything about her and us. The words will not even come now, a whole year and a day later. That fateful day I had no choice. None.

That day I had to set my Darcy Girl free from her pain of this earthly realm. There was absolutely nothing else I could do. I had to do it for her. She was not even six years old. That is one of the hardest parts I think. We were supposed to have so much more time.

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last year and a day (and not so much writing). It has been quite a year and it went by in a flash, but lot has happened.

That thing there I mentioned earlier. Choices. Yes, that one. We take that right and privilege for granted. That is one thing I know. Choices and time, that is what I have been thinking a lot about.

A little after Darcy’s day, before traveling all over kingdom come of this country over the summer (hey, I rode horses, caught fish, and got a Merle pup!), I blathered on here on AHAmoments about how life is about saying yes. Not just yes, but YES. Remember that? No? It does not matter, it seems silly in retrospect, but I did. I went on about saying yes to things and people and living what is left of your life because it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment. You know, beyond our control, out of our hands, not our choice.

Not long before Darcy’s day, I made a big bet (completely unrelated to Darcy) that had a very big chance of not working out.

An incredibly long story short, that bet did indeed turn out to be a losing bet. I was lied to and cheated on. Deceived. Taken advantage of and disrespected. My time was wasted. I got severely disappointed (hey, still kinda am). Mad. Angry. Sad. Mad at myself as well.

But you want to know what? Yes, I know you do. I have no regrets. I still believe those things about a yes life that I mentioned even still. That is the only way to live a life. It is too short not to. There are more important things than all that other stuff. I would not have a Merle pup or a Lito man if I did not believe these things. Where would I be without those two!? Or my Cheetah!? Even with Darcy. What if I did not get her when I did? Who would I be and where would I be without having had her in my life???

"No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses."~Herman Melville⁠

The truth is, just like this very life itself, none of it is on our time frames. That is for the Man Upstairs. AHAmoment and do not you forget it.

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My loving boy, Merle. A more beautiful soul never existed. He is a lover of all beings. My chief blessing.
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They seem to like him just as much.
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You see, I indeed did make that choice. Or choices, rather. Nobody else. That is on me. The choice to bet on a person knowing it had a high chance of not working out. If I am being honest, I even felt it deep inside in that hidden place, despite all the words, that it was not going to work out (hey there, gut feeling Holy Spirit, sorry I did not listen you. I am still learning.). I did not listen to it, I wanted it to be different. The way the words (not actions) sounded. It was supposed to be great. You do not win if you do not bid, right? That is what they say. I trusted and said yes. It was my choice. I believed and fought for it.

Here is the thing. I can make another choice right here in the story. And I have. I vowed to myself to continue to say yes and be open in life and opportunities and adventures and, yes, people. To live life in the front row. To learn and be better. Like I said then, I will say it now, I have lived a third of a lifetime (if I am blessed enough to live to old age). I have zero desire to waste any of it, or any more of it.

Lito wanted a rest under his favorite pecan tree. I always oblige. I am generally feeling the same. This is me, not wasting my time.

I have learned and am still learning from my past and all the life that I have lived over 31.5 years. That is what is making me smarter and wiser, so long as I listen to my gut feeling. Learning what He needs me to for His purpose. You have to ‘watch their actions,’ as a wise women told me. Not the words. Believe what you see and what is shown to you. Make the choice to learn it and leave it.

Do not take your time or choices for granted.

Life is still going on all around us whether or not we are going with it. The choice is yours no matter the situation, do not waste it. You can get wrapped up in all the rest if you want. Get mad and angry. I did for a little bit. Then step forward and on. Forward is always the answer, just like with horses. Leg on.

This is also me not wasting my time and my life. Churchill put it best. Except, I was riding bareback.
I have ridden this road since I was 9 and it never gets old.

All of that to say, that, even with all of that, the storms we go through (and we all do go through storms), they do not last. For anyone. We have so many rainbows. So many silver linings. So much wonder and light. So many blessings. That is right, WE. All of us. There is a reason for all of it, a greater purpose. We are learning through the journey to that purpose.

Like I said, I would not have Merle for not that awful day a year and a day ago.

Onward and upwards, my friends.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, and tomorrow is a new, blessed day! Go be your best self and be good to people.

Walk in love, dear readers, I hope these images of my loves brighten your 2020. Or Last Twelve Months And One Day.

Anyone still there? Tap. Tap tap.

Look! The pecans are coming! It is all in the natural way of things.

Well.

There has been a lot going on!

These indeed are trying times for all, in more ways than just this ‘rona business.

Hey, gotta keep it light and positive. It is what we do here!

In all seriousness though, we all got down to the basics pretty dang quick. Writing got shoved to the back burner and then right off the back of the stove all together.

Certainly not because I did not want to write to you!

We packed up food and other necessities and went to our safe place, the farm. I have been living here now with my family for over two weeks. Logging in remotely and working (which has been frustrating). Crossing farm chores and projects off the list (feels amazing). Cooking and baking. And, of course, soaking up all the horse time and riding I can.

I will not get into everything that Covid-19 entails or the politics or anything that everyone is talking about. All the things that have been right in front of us for weeks. It is very likely that I, along with many others, will be without my job soon because of the oil prices. I do not think there is anyone who is not feeling the weight of this in some way or another (hey howdy, you’re not alone!!!). I know I have not been immune to it. It is all just heavy no matter what. We have been taking periodic breaks from it all by turning off the news, not getting onto social media, and doing farm things. Only checking in and updating every couple of days. I have gotten into the habit of just leaving my phone and not being available (liberating).

Even still, I feel even more blessed for the beauty all around me. It makes it easy to celebrate every day. All I have to do is look up. And you know what, it is the same for you! Just look up…or out.

Mother Nature and the change of seasons. We got a bunch of rain on Saturday (praise the Lord! For this and many other things!) which will grow some good grass for the stock and get a good start on our vegetable garden. The wildflowers. The birds frolicking. Our home bred heifers and their first calves. Family time. Being conscious to live simply. My horses, of course, because a horse is a horse of course!

Want to see just what I have been up to when I am not working? Well, have a look. Get a dose. Take a breath. Get some inspiration, dear readers!

Taking walks, often with my Lito man.

You know what else?

Our lovely heart hole oak tree has its heart hole again! This is my favorite tree. I know I might have said that about some other trees before, but this is really and truly my favorite. Did you miss why? Well, you can find out here.

You want to see what else? If you look off in the distance past the heart hole by the pond, you can see the pecan trees starting to get their leaves (and progressively through all these photos). Like I said, they always get their leaves. This year seems early, but spring as a whole did come early. Every year is its own.

We have had many many caterpillars. So cool.

More walks with Lito, I tell you, are good for everything.

Rides on my Cheetah are also good for everything. With or without wildflowers.

New mammas and babies.

The lush river bottom. Just look at those baby blues and that light. This is such a special place and holds so many memories for all of us. We would spend hours down here as kids. I used to ride my childhood mare, Fresca down here on hot summer afternoons. I would let her eat all her favorites. A little walk down here the other day with Pops and Cousin W turned into a couple of hours talking about trees and grasses and wildlife. Good for everything.

Lots of baking! These are my special chocolate chip cookies. I have also made molasses cookies and raspberry crumble muffins. Mamma has been making muffins and cookies (and so much other good food in addition to everyone else). Sister K has also made muffins! It is only a matter of time before pumpkin and banana bread are made.

More riding.

Watching sunrises.

And sunsets.

Having Petunia snuggles.

Projects and chores and more! This implement has been here since we bought the place, 22 years ago! It was the last remaining thing from the previous owners. There used to be a tree living in the middle of it. The tree finally died and we finally cleared enough brush from around and within it to get it hauled out. Quite a thing really!

We watched weather and spring unfold. Keep watching those pecan trees!

This is usually my view from my ‘remote office.’

Just look at those pecan tree leaves.

Do you recognize that specific tree?

If you do recognize it, you should, for you have seen it before! I guess it is my second favorite tree. Certainly my most favorite pecan tree!

More wildflowers! We get some bluebonnets and indian paintbrushes along the road here but we get a lot of these all around our place.

More caterpillars! A Monarch!

More sunsets.

More weather. This was an early morning walk with coffee before sitting down on the computer to work.

Of course, more sunrises.

Wondering where my Merle man is? Fear not, he has been off at hunting camp learning. Just have a look. I miss him terribly and the last few weeks without him have been very difficult, but I am so proud of him and he has been doing very well. I am counting down the days till he is back home where he belongs.

So much to celebrate, dear readers, even in these, dare I say, uncertain times. Look up, stay positive, be a light. Keep the faith.

Share what you have been up to!

Walk in love, dear readers. Keep an eye on the Facebook page for some past AHAmoments uplifting reads!

Wordless Wednesday

OK, well, maybe not so wordless I suppose.

Take a look at that photo.

Imagine yourself sitting in a chair, right here, gazing out into the distance. Notice the vibrant green of the clover. The soft, subtle ripples of the water. Do you feel the breeze on your skin?

See the twinkling reflection of the sunlight over the top of the pond as it blends into those ripples. The dancing, magical light of the setting sun. Stare, just for a fleeting minuscule moment, at the sun, and how it fades into an the deepening sky above you. Can you see the setting of the sun?

Do you see those ever patient pecan trees?

Did you take a breath?

Feel better?!

I felt like some of you needed that! Don’t forget to breathe!

Do not let what is going on around you bog you down! Keep your focus. Keep on walking. Keep on seeking.

Walk in love, dear readers! Get out there and live your life! Get out and breathe the fresh air!

We are still ginning over here, do not you worry! I have not been quiet for lack of things to say. I have been living, my friends. Talk to you soon!

Get Out

OUT.

As in outside.

The answer to a lot of things many times is to just get out and ride. Even if you did not even know you were looking for answers.

Forget everything else.

Ignore your phone. (Except for to take pictures, duh).

Leave all your worries and troubles far, far away. They will be there when you get back, if you want them.

Don’t have a horse? Go for a boat ride or a bike ride. Go for a drive. Or a walk. Anything.

Get outside. Feel the air. Smell the smells. Listen to the birds. Let that horse run and stretch her legs under you.

Just get moving.

Climb the hills or mountains.

Take in the inspirational vista in front of you and get close.

Then go back down, get to work, and maybe move some cows.

She holds a lot between those ears of hers.

Embrace all the feelings.

Climb the hill again.

Breathe.

Remember what and who IT is all about.

Oh, it also works best with just girls. Humans, horses, and dogs. Mr. Merle stayed behind and had man time this time.

Let me know how it works out for you!

Walk in love, dear readers! I hope you are inspired and motivated this Monday Tuesday.

“We go to the mountain for strength and peace and power. To know God. Then you move to the valley where life is lived. For service.”

Beautiful Souls

Animals. They never cease to amaze me. I know I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I do not care. I have no doubt in my mind that they are all gifts to us. Angels in their own right, sent here and given to us for a specific reason and purpose. Even if only for a short period of time in our eyes.

I think Mr. Dirty Toes Merle might just have one of the most beautiful souls out there. He wants to be a friend to everyone and he does not give up until he gets just that. I have watched it with my own eyes.

Just look have a look for yourself.

Merle and my Lito man
Merle and Petunia

He has finally started to win a few of the heifers over. I was taking care of some chores in the barn when I looked over and saw MUTUAL LICKING. Never have I seen any of our dogs do this. Not even my Darcy.

Merle and Blaze
Merle with Billy and Blaze
Merle with Bendita and Blaze

Now if only I could capture his antics with the cat……..

Love.

God is love. Never forget it.

Walk in love, dear readers.

“And love will run to meet me and call me his own”
“So love can live to tell the tale”

Winter Wisdom

Winter. There is a ton of symbolism in the season. Whether it be the actual weather and Mother Nature or a very real reflection of a season in your life.

I have a wise friend who wrote some great winter words that I wanted to share with you.

“I will be honest, there’s a lot I don’t get right now about a lot of things & the more I work on it, the more frustrated I feel. I literally post something similar to this every single season because I am forever stubborn and continuously forget the basics of God & faith.
That said, I am all the more thankful that the consistency of seasons is a reflection of God and the steadiness of His character. If you stop and really “consider the lilies,” you can’t escape how Creation reflects the detail oriented nature of God. It shows how He created us to see Him & find Him not just in religion, but in snails, twigs, monarch butterfly migrations, and sunflowers that tilt upward so they can face the sun.
I took a bunch of pictures on a walk through Camp Allen this last weekend at my church’s women’s retreat. I made my friend stop every 3 minutes of our walk because I was distracted by how oddly beautiful dead-looking things become when light shines on them. Romans 1:20 talks about how seeing the visible helps us understand the invisible. What appears to be dead actually isn’t dead, it’s just winter. Winter doesn’t last forever – it stays awhile & through the shorter days, lack of color & seemingly barren/exposed trees all contrasted with light, winter reminds me how paradoxical God is- how my weakness is actually His strength.”

Good, no?

Like I have said before, take comfort in the consistency of the seasons. Of the sunrises and sunsets. No matter what, they show up to party every time. They go on over and over without fail. Whether or not you can see them!

There truly is beauty in all things, even and especially in winter.

Take pecan trees for instance, because we all know how I love them, with or without a Merle man in the frame.

Many on first glance may think they are dead in the winter. They are the first to lose their leaves and they are the very last to get them come spring. Even I start to wonder if they ever will get their leaves as spring might start to feel like summer.

Even still, I can never stop being amazed at the raw beauty in the bareness of their branches in winter. Against a sunrise. Or backed by the strong, bright, and grass growing winter sun. Or reflected in the sunset’s light on the pond. There is beauty even on the dreariest of gray winter days.

Indeed they make an inspiring frame for a sunset of any kind!

Dead pecan tree among the live oaks? Nope. A beautiful and unique one, standing strong waiting out winter for its bloom.

And you know what? They always do get their leaves. Every spring. And I am just as amazed every time.

The same happens for us when winter comes to a close and spring starts to bloom. It may likely feel as if you are wandering aimless in this winter. Trust me, I know. Your feeling of wandering is not without reason or purpose. It is your winter season of waiting. Preparing you for your spring. Take your time and be patient. Have faith. Rest. Be ready. Remember what you are fighting for and hang on tight. Keep your focus on the light.


When your world’s of madness
And you’re burned at both ends
Your walls are closin’ in
Won’t you remember?
Open up your heart
Let yourself unwind
Find peace of mind
Among the wandering
Step into the unknown
Where your path rewinds
See if you can find out
What you came here for
Roll one from the green vine
Disregard the time
Find your peace of mind
Among the wandering
Don’t fear the vendors
Dreams can’t be bought
As long as you don’t sell
What you’ve been fighting for
As long as you don’t sell
What you’ve been fighting for
If your heart’s of anger
And you’re helpless in the end
Won’t you let your friends
Help you remember?
With every box of poison
There’s a ribbon tied
Don’t believe them eyes
When they deceive you
Take a look inside
If you’re so inclined
Just leave some time
For the wandering
Find your peace of mind
Among the wandering
~Ryan Bingham

Walk in love, dear readers, and see the beauty in your winter. Spring is coming, and not just because I am covered in horse hair shed and counting down the days for more daylight.

Lighting Strike

I was at the farm a couple weeks ago strolling past a special pecan tree while my Merle and I were on a walk. Really they are all special trees just because, but this one is unique.

It is under this special tree’s far reaching branches that offer a favorite shady summer napping spot for all the horses, and myself on occasion, where the final resting places for our old horses lie. Our original heard. All back together. Mansebo was put to sleep under that very tree on a beautiful, sunny day. Indeed under this very tree is my Darcy girl. Her final resting place after a final dip of the paws in the pond to get farm dirty like she liked (I do not know if that will ever stop punching me in the gut).

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My niece took a nap under this tree on a a special day.

So, this is a special pecan tree, obviously, and I generally take special notice of it.

A few years ago it got struck by lightning on a windy and stormy fateful night in late March. I remember the following morning I was feeling anxious and worried as I not so patiently waited for Cheetah to go into labor. I wanted to meet my Lito man! I was riding Ike bareback before I left the farm to go visit Cheetah at the barn she was at to foal out.

Anyway, as I rode under this pecan tree I discovered the previous night’s damage. It appeared extensive and I was immediately saddened. The visible strike ran from the base of the trunk all the way up and out one of the branches to the very tip. On I rode with a sigh and was off to visit my Cheetah.

As the years went by, like they tend to do, I continued to observe that lightning strike on that pecan tree. It eventually morphed and healed into a scar from an open wound. It eventually became part of that tree. Somebody not privileged enough to know that tree’s story might think it grew up just like that. With a unique mark like a person’s hair color or a birth mark, adding to its very beauty.

So. Here is the AHAmoment for you.

Ya, you there.

Brought to you straight from a wise pecan tree.

Have you been feeling fragile lately? On edge? Cracked or about to? Or full on broken? Struck from top to toe?

Last time I checked, broken crayons still color (and hey, I would know. I am a geologist. I color for a living!)! Not only that, they are still colorful and bright as are their drawings! Have you ever even seen all the things you can do with broken crayons? It is fascinating. Really. Go get on Pinterest and just look at all the things you can do.

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What about those cracks you say? Here is the thing about those. They let the light in, my friends! For you and everyone else. Let your light shine! Shine out the darkness!

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A while back (as in just about the beginning) here on AHAmoments in desperation for positivity, I shared a Japanese tradition about how broken objects are repaired.

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Is that not cool?! I have a broken ceramic pot on my patio (thanks, Merle!) that I am going to glue back together. I am then going to paint the cracks gold and remember the beauty.

Just like that special pecan tree, your lighting strike will heal and make you more beautiful and wise than you were before. You will keep on coloring like those broken crayons and you will create a masterpiece. Your golden cracks will be your crown. Have the faith. Embrace it and shine that light. In our weaknesses we are made strong!

Remember that!

Walk in love, dear readers.

Music Monday

 

…There’s no need for anger, there’s no need for blame
There’s nothing to prove, everything’s still the same…
~Bob Dylan

Dear readers, nothing in this world is as it seems.

What in this world actually makes sense?

Don’t judge books by their covers. You have no idea what is on the inside of those pages.

Stay in your lane. Do you. Do not worry about others. Keep your focus on The Man Upstairs. That is how you keep your perspective. That is when things do make sense.

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a blessed Monday!

Joy

Not quite ready for Monday morning? Or do you already need a break?

Shh. Me too. I got your back. I am here for you.

My quality time with my menagerie at the farm this past weekend is calling me back! Even with the crazy weather, but enough about that.

Grab a quick cup a coffee and have a scroll through what brings me joy and serenity. I want to share it with you to bring you joy and a smile. And well, possibly to motivate you if you need it! Enjoy!

How can you not smile at that cute face?!

Joy really is all around us, always. We just need the eyes to see, you see? God is great in all times and seasons.

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Walk in love, dear readers. Have a fabulous Monday.