Love Is To Be & To Be Is To Love

A friend of mine mentioned that she was listening to this song and there were a couple lines in it that really spoke to her. The song was “As We Are” by Kongos. Sound like something I listen to? No, no it does not. I had to go look it up. The song is not my style, but the message is good none the less. Have you ever heard it?

Another friend of ours said that those two lines were a great topic to discuss with a glass of wine. Well, I don’t need that glass to go there. I am sure you figured that by now. But, a glass of wine, especially with a pit fire, would be nice. I digress. 

unnamed-2


“It’s said we must look within
‘Cause love is to be and to be is to love”

That is fact of life to me. The secret. The key. The AHAmoment. One of the greatest things about working with horses is that they make you look within yourself to be the best human/horseman you can be. They teach you to love yourself among many other important life lessons. Once you love yourself for your true self, you are open and able to truly love another. All that right there? That is God looking at you through them.

Put that in your pot of thoughts and stir it.

Walk in love, dear readers!

325400_10152080662710527_703618825_o

Tuesday Toodles

Spring has officially arrived! The sun is warm. Horses and dogs are loosing their winter coats. Everything is yellow, including the nastys I have been coughing up in the morning...er…The pollen is exploding on the trees. The air is soft, both in feel and temperature. Besides the nastys, it is glorious.

I have decided on a schooling show to work towards at the end of April, have submitted payment for a working equitation clinic in June, and am going to audit a Charlotte Dujardin Through The Levels Masterclass in November. I am really excited about these! Making good on my 2017 goals! Just need to make lessons a priority now.

I am a little under the weather because of these allergies (seriously, these never used to be a thing for me, ugh)…and possibly, maybe, because I have been staying out too late, but oh well, you only live once.

I am house and dog sitting for the rest of this week. All the dogs are played out and enjoying basking in the sun. This past Sunday (how is it already Tuesday??!), I loaded everyone up and headed out to the farm for the day.

The day started out extremely foggy. Quite literally in a cloud. Once at the farm, I decided to wait out the fog before riding and convinced my mom to come on a walk with me and the dogs after I fed the horses. As per usual, my Darcy girl had a grand time doing her thing and running circles around the other two. These city dogs though! They had the best time being dogs! Their coats were sopping from the dew and covered in pollen within a few minutes.


We walked down to the pond first where they waded in to prime their coats to get really good and dirty. Deciding it was best to avoid the cows with the newbies, we turned around to walk back up to the front gate and back again. With all the rain we have had, there was a big muddy hog wallow by a group of live oaks. You an probably guess where this is going, but I will tell you anyway. They all promptly got in and laid down with the biggest panting grins on their faces. After a good chuckle, we called them out and continued back to the house. A good run through the tall, wet grass got all their coats moderately clean. They were so dang happy. There is nothing like a happy, dirty, and tired dog. Except maybe three of them! Impossible to smile.


I put them all in the kennel and went to grab Lito for a ride. Darcy is always with me when I ride, but I put her up with the other two to make sure the others would stay safe. A quick groom session and I had Lito tacked and ready to go.

I have stopped counting his rides, but we are somewhere in the neighborhood of 15. He continues to amaze me with his incredible mind. In an ideal world, I would be riding him around 3 times a week. I have still only been able to ride him every two weeks or so. I was worried that it would be a problem and I would have to bring him somewhere closer to town so I could ride him more. It is not only not a problem, but he continues to get better. I might still have to do that somewhere down line, but for now it is working.

We did a little arena work and then went down to the cow pasture with my mom (she is the best) to have a little trot and then back up to the front gate. I am so proud of him. We are pretty consistently forward and have pretty good rhythm. He is continually reminding me, since he was born, to be relaxed and open. He is so sensitive and responsive in a very good way. If I remember to think and ask first, I almost do not even have to do anything. He is such a blessing.

After lunch I spent the rest of my time there helping the horses shed some winter hair before heading back to town. Now is it the end of Tuesday and work is work and it is busy. Most everyone was out of the office last week, so it is back to the normal hustle. Which is not really normal, incidentally.

That is all for now. Super exciting stuff, I know. Please, try to contain yourself over there. This week is going by so fast, hence the lack of posts! Sorry about that!

Walk in love, dear readers!

 

Winston Churchill

Sir Winston Churchill (thanks, Anne, for the inspiration today) sure seemed to know a thing or two about horses. Like really knew them. What was it that he is always quoted for saying? Yes, you remember the ones. Even if you are not a horse person, you know them.


“There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.”
“When you are on a great horse, you have the best seat you will ever have.”
“No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle.”

Those three statements are fact to me. If we let them, they will show us what is inside of us. Who we really are. It is my belief that God made them this way for a reason and why the horse plays such a big part in our ‘success.’ I know I am weird and probably sound like a broken record at this point if anyone is still reading, but I dare you to prove me wrong. It is really no wonder that it was the horse that helped us come so far as a civilization.

Some people like to be on a mountain top or on a beach, but put me atop my horse, and there is no better place to be. The view is unlike any other you will see between those two ears. The air you breathe is fresher. It awakens your soul, that horse smell. That combination of grass, sweat, and dirt. I do not think I have met anyone who does not like it. The wind feels different. I feel free, like I could fly. To be honest, sometimes it feels like I do. I feel strong while at the same time, all I have to do is ask with the slightest touch or movement to have my horse move.

 

I have learned a lot about life from the horse. They have taught me to be humble and confident at the same time.

8c5556859f9a8674cbd21bc0be5adb26

1cbcd4c4927979b75e45bc83f91612b4

That it takes more than luck and talent. Luck will only get you so far. It takes faith and hard work. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. It takes learning and growing from your mistakes. To continue to strive and quest. 

b918dea4d9623a92cdb3973c63ee7399

They have taught me to trust. To let go, have faith, and trust. You can not micro manage them. You have to ask them and let them learn and do their job. To see things from their point of view. They are honorable and honest, commanding respect. 

2adb2698cb7df836643578faf712b305

1df2bdea21f63acb1d483ada21ef9db5

They will make you work for it because they are worthy of it. 

The horse has taught me to be more like him. AHAmoment.

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a great weekend!

Desire

Desire. A thought for the day.

I have and have had many desires in my life as I am sure many of you have. I find the dynamic nature of desires interesting and intriguing. As we learn and grow in life, as we gain wisdom with age, our desires change with our change in perspective. One can learn a lot about themselves, and others, by deciphering where certain desires come from. AHAmoment.

According to Merriam-Webster, the word desire is defined as:

  • Transitive verb: to long or hope for; to express a wish for or to; and most interestingly, to feel the loss of
  • Noun: conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment; longing; craving; formal request or petition for action; something longed or hoped for

To feel the loss of something. I found that interesting to be defined there in just that way. How can you long for something you never had? Can you feel the loss of something you never had? Can you really desire something you have never known? Is it really loss if you never actually had it to lose? I think so. That speaks to how powerful they are and how/why they drive us. I think that is part of what makes our true desires conscious.

What do you think?

I think the loss is very real. The relationship of the parent you never had. Or the child. Or the life. However, just like everything in life, there is a flip side to this coin. Not all loss is bad or negative. Loss can be good. It is, you know, part of the circle of life. Even this change averse gal can admit that. The feeling of loss is powerful in a good way when you no longer desire something that is harmful to you, for instance. Whether it is a person or a group of people or a thing or an idea. Does not matter.

I guess it is all of a piece. Maybe they are the same. The negative feeling of loss of something at first and then you grow and your perspective changes, making the loss positive in light of your changed desires.

I feel like I am quickly going down a hole into accounting.

I will confess that I have desires that I will not speak out loud, for fear of anyone experiencing the loss with me. I guess what it really boils down to is the shame that fear is creating.

I used to have a desire to be a famous horseman that other people looked to. Now, all I want to be famous from each of my horses’ perspectives. To be the best I can be for them. To be a real horseman. My perspective changed. That is something they have taught me through the grace of God.

I used to think I had it all figured out. I had a plan for my career and life. I desired certain things and I felt like I knew how to make them happen. Now, I feel like those desires are slipping away and I am discovering that I am letting them go. Has my perspective changed? I think it is changing. I am not there yet. New desires are not quite there yet. Do I feel loss? I do not know. I think in the beginning I did. Sometimes I feel lost and alone.

Does any of that make sense? Do you ever feel the same? What are your desires?

Far too much introspection for a Friday.

They are predicting rain all weekend, so here is hoping I get some ride time in. I can not complain though since the weather has been absolutely amazing.

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a great weekend. I am walking in faith trying to figure out the desires of my heart in my true self.

Too much? Oh well.

img_8965

Time & Everyday Life.

Was it not just yesterday that I was excited we had entered the ‘ber’ months? Elated for everything fall? Now we are less than one day shy of March. It is crazy how looking back over the last few months it seems to have gone by so fast. So fast in fact, that today feels like Wednesday. In the midst of it all, it felt terribly slow.

free_tuesday_pictures_289963092

So much has happened in such a short time. Or maybe not so much has happened?

It feels like a lot.

Not too terribly much to report over here. Pretty boring, actually. Do you want to know something? I am OK with that at the moment. Work is chugging along. I have many loads of laundry to do. I no longer have any clean riding jeans and I am running out of boot socks. Who cares about work clothes. The situation is dire on the home front. Priorities. I loathe doing laundry. Anyone else out there also really dislike laundry? Sure, a stack of neatly folded clothes is oddly satisfying, but the process of getting there? Not really. Darcy needs a bath. Darcy always needs a bath. Every weekend she finds something nasty to roll in. It is a gift she has.

980x

We are entering the last month of the first quarter of the year. I am happy to report that I have so far made good on my riding goals for the year. The other things, oh well, maybe not as good, but I have not forgotten them and am still working on them. That is a win in my book.

I do not think I waxed poetic earlier this week about how awesome Lito is. Do not worry, I am not going to do that now. Well, at least I do not think I am. Anyway, I am planning his first off property ride with a friend for sometime in the next two months. I am pretty excited about it. I am glad to be making progress with him. I also spoke with my Aunt and Cousin about getting them on the farm schedule so I can have the support to continue to ride him regularly (Sorry for the repeat vid, but honestly, I can’t get enough of it!). Cheetah is doing well and I am excited about taking some lessons and going to a show in the second quarter of the year. I am also more than ready for the time to change back. Give me more daylight so I can ride more! I am planning to increase my rides by at least one more during the week. The next thing on my execution list is getting lessons actually on the calendar.

I have been listening to Midland this week. I like their older country feel. I also have a serious thing for 70’s fashion. I want a whole new wardrobe of just 70’s. Strange, I know.

So many words and not much said. Makes me think of this Jason Eady song with the line “words that come too easy sometimes tell the bigger truth.”

Anything exciting going on? A calm, everyday life is pretty comforting for me right now. How are y’all doing on your new year resolutions?

Walk in love, dear readers.

Country Bound

As most of you know, I spend at least a few hours out in the country every weekend. There are many reasons for this, but it is mainly because, well, I need it. My soul needs it. It is where I feel most at home. Where I want to end up one day.

Thanks to Brent Cobb for posting this on his YouTube, for recording it, and to his Dad and Uncle for writing it.

This may be a dramatic statement to some, but this song is how I feel sometimes. Maybe more than just sometimes. Also, the whole John Denver combined with Robert Ellis vibe? Wow. I almost can not handle it.

It is necessary for me to unplug and get away. If I do not do this, I lose my sight and focus. I get anxious. What is it that they say? Lose the forest for the trees? Or the sun for the rays? I do not know why I am this way, I just am. Sometimes, I need it more than just once a week.

At the end of last week, I was struggling to get anything finished. You know when that happens? You have a lot to do and you find yourself just staring at it? Like hello, get going, move it! This happens to me more and more it seems. AHAmoment. This just occurred to me. I might start giving myself deadlines. Anyway, that is a story for another day. I was more than ready to get out of town and recharge.

The point is, when I do, I am able to see, hear, feel, and truly experience things like this. For what it is. In vivid detail. This is why I need it. My horses are also there. My family is often there. And there is that whole side benefit of, hey all I have to do is get through this week and I get to go to the farm! Oh, am I not supposed to admit that? Oh well. I want to eventually be able to have that every day.

I was walking back from the barn with Niece and Nephew after going to see the horses. I looked up and was amazed watching them walk through the grass off into the sunset. Completely in the moment. There is nothing better for them than this.

Sitting by the pong with my sister, her family, and some friends. Watching the sunset and the boys fish. Sunsets are so spiritual to me. Each moment both different and sacred.

I snapped these of my Bro in law. Fishing is his number one passion, like horses are for me.

A quick video of me riding the best baby horse of all time. Kids, do not video while you ride. Right after this, I dropped my phone. It still works though!

Cuddle time with my main mare.

For all you people with the Monday feels…this is truth. I found this on a friend’s Facebook page. Truth it may be, it can still be hard!

16998940_10105073153207268_7236586954617331708_n

Great family dinner last night that was good for the soul.

Walk in love, dear readers. Go kick butt today!

 

Daily Dose Of Cute

Who does not love baby animals? No one.

 

 


I bet you are smiling now.

Please excuse all the ‘stuff’ in the pen. I wanted him to be exposed to as many things as possible so he would be brave and confident when he grew up. He is.

Nothing like babies to warm the heart.

I watched the news this morning and it was depressing. Mornings should not be ruined by the ‘news.’

I went to a baby shower with my mother yesterday after work that was hosted by our church. We all brought gifts to donate to a pregnancy help center that helps pregnant women in need who do not have the means or knowledge to support their baby. I was quite moved by it and am so happy I went.

While getting ready for work today, Jonah Werner came up on my music shuffle. It gave me all the feels. My middle sister and I listened to him on the day of my Uncle’s funeral. When my sister was in middle school (and I was in elementary school), she went to a Jonah Werner concert at the church my Uncle, Aunt, and Cousins went and still go to.

Have a great day. I am focusing on the positive and the happy.

Walk in love.

3 Things

I had a friend tell me that she was feeling blue yesterday after a great weekend and that she did not know if it was because the weekend was over or because of the unknown future. It got me thinking as I have often felt the same way myself and my suggestion was to:


Focus on something good from the weekend (or past), something good right in front of you, and do something fun for yourself tomorrow. Nobody knows the future, so you are not alone!

Too bad I can not seem to do that for myself in those moments, so I think I will do the same thing for myself right now. We all have something to be grateful for even when it is all going up in smoke and hitting the fan. AHAmoment. It also seems like a good idea since I am supposed to be practicing self love and all that. Disclaimer, this may or may not turn into another love fest, and I will make zero apologies for it.

  1. Something good from the weekend.
    I rode 3 amazing horses.
    Saturday I took Second Chance, Chance on a road ride with some long time friends. It was terribly HOT. Like sweating at 8 in the morning hot. He was amazing even though he made some ugly faces at some other horses. It was quite comical, really.  I also got compliments on his butt. It is pretty big. I really need to show you what he used to look like. I love how he shines like a penny even when he is a woolly bear.

    Sunday morning I rode the my best gal, Cheetah. We did some arena work with transitions and ground poles before going down in the pastures to check the cows and let her really open up and stretch her legs. I did not get any photos because I was having too much fun. I finished out the morning doing some chores and unpacking the trailer. Then, my parents (the most amazing parents ever) met me for lunch at a nearby town on their way home from out of town and then came back to the farm so I could ride my Lito. I could not ask for better parents or a better colt. Seriously. This horse. I think it was his 10th ride or so and the first ride in a couple months. He was AMAZING. He was much more forward and fluid than he has been. That was a little bit of a worry for me. It reminds me to stay the course and do not lose heart. He is still learning. AHAmoment. He is just so easy, brave, and keeps getting better…and taller. I will stop before I explode.
    unnamed-8

  2. Something good in front of me from today.
    My dog is tired and happy from running at the farm and my boss told me she was proud of my work. Boom. Enough said.
  3. Something fun for myself tomorrow.
    My bible study is having a Valentines party as our class. Thank goodness because I do not like Valentines Day!

Pretty dang good at present. Certainly can not complain.

What are your 3 things? Something good from the weekend (or past), something good in front of you today, and something fun for yourself tomorrow?

Walk in love, dear readers!

The Surface

I stumbled upon Carla Ber‘s blog a little while ago. Yesterday, not so coincidentally, she published a post entitled, ‘Go Deep. You Are Not Alone‘ basically discussing the very thing I was talking about yesterday, but just a little deeper (See what I did there?). Really, there are several things I have read lately that align with this.

The surface is boring, for all involved. Share your story with someone worthy. You will be amazed at how light and free you feel. By the connections you make. You are not alone. Am I a broken record yet?

It is the very core of why I wanted to start this blog. It is scary. It is hard. Boy, has it been worth it to me. To connect with you, my dear readers.

Sharing the story of my Uncle and the days following was terribly difficult for me. I almost did not do it because I was scared and heartbroken. I did not want to be judged or have my family judged. Thankfully, I realized that not sharing was not only the wrong thing for me, but it would have been the wrong thing for y’all. I feel stronger, lighter, and better for doing it. I can not thank y’all enough for your kind words and prayers. This is more than just about me though, I know that my sharing helped at least one person.

It is a serious kick in the gut to me (my pride) when I have a terrible ride and it is really all my fault. I try to share that though (and probably not very well because, hello, pride and ego) because that is the reality of working with horses. The reality of life. Everyone has bad rides and bad days. I walk in there with a big head, my horse is sure to humble me right down. It is about what you learn from it and how you grow from it. What you do with it and what you make of it. I at least know enough to know that I do not know everything. God willing, I have a lot of life left to live and learn. The horse has way more to teach me that I have to teach him. Most of all, to show up, continue to strive to be my best every day, and not compare my walk with that of another. Many days I feel like I suck at it, but that is OK because I am working on it.

I want to relate with you and know that I am not alone in my struggles. Know that you are not alone in yours. Spark ideas and open our minds.

Anyway, me being me and the way my mind works, reading her post made me think of this song (I know, I am obsessed with him). I hope you enjoy.

“I’m getting sick and tired
Of livin’ on the surface
And in between the lines”

Thanks to Sean‘s YouTube for the vid.

Walk in love, dear readers. Share your story.