Perspective

You know how when you were younger and smaller, innocent and wide eyed, how things appeared big and they stick in your memory that way? Then time goes by and you grow up and see those things again, but somehow they are smaller than you remembered? And you wonder just how in the world you ever thought they were that big?

That happened to me yesterday.

Breakfast in a bed of clover.

So there I was in the cloudy, windy, misty river bottom where the sun apparently does not like to play anymore. I spent the whole morning mucking out the barn and paddock around the barn. With the weather these days, the horses have been spending an exorbitant amount of time in there instead of out in the pasture. I really do not think I have ever scooped so much poop as I have in the last month and I have been riding and caring for horses my whole life. Anyway, that is not the point.

Muddy kisses from Darcy Doolittle. Later she decided to get into and eat a bunch of fish food…as how that went.

So there I was trying to decide what to do next. “I should be riding,” I thought to myself, but I do not like to ride when the ‘shoulds’ show up.

“Shoulds be darned” and I grabbed Cheetah’s bridle. We are going to go play and have fun. I bridled her up and headed to the fence to hop on.

Just then, H called. She was on her way to put in some work at the office. She likes to talk while she drives, as do I. We call it the dialies in our family. Anyway, I decided then and there that I would ride Cheetah for me and I would ride Lito next for her because she could not ride that day. She has not been able to ride in a while because of work. AHA moment. Always ride when you can. Life is too short and you never know when you won’t be able to and there are plenty of people who can not.

I stuck my phone in my pocket and talked to her on speaker phone for my whole lovely ride. Cheetah was lazy and behind my leg. Dare I say sluggish, which is somewhat of a nice change of pace. Then the sun showed up and I almost didn’t know what to do with myself.

For Lito, I decided to saddle up and ride my neighbor’s big pasture behind the barn.

I had not ridden that pasture in years. I used to ride it all the time on Fresca, my little palomino mare. She was quick, fast, and fun and I loved her. She had the best little jog and I could do anything on her. She was the best horse to grow up on. We rode all over the place bareback, nothing between me and her, feeling every thought. We had some amazing times, that mare and me. Whenever we would ride the pasture behind the barn, we would ride down to the river first and loop around to the clear frontage to have a look down the river and see if anyone was on the beach. Then we would continue up river and follow the tree line towards the big hill.


The hill was our favorite. The two track dirt road lazily meanders around to the low spot with rusty culvert before it goes straight up the hill to the little white church across the fence. The culvert was the starting gate in our games. We had different games in different places all around the river bottom, but here at the hill in the big pasture behind the barn, it was a race and she was the best race horse of the day.

Calm as could be, Fresca would walk up to the culvert as if neither of us had a plan to gallop to the top wearing red and white silks. As if we didn’t do it practically every time we came to the hill. An onlooker would not know what was about to happen, but the ones in the grandstand knew. Then, the bell would ring and in an instant, we would take off and fly to the top faster than all the greats.

Once at the top, we would come to a stop right by the church and listen to the church goers sing. I thought it was so cool that you could hear them sing when they were inside. By about that time I would start to feel hungry for breakfast so we would turn and head down the hill, cross the bog, and make our way back home where my mother was making pancakes.


Lito and I pushed our way through the overgrowth at the gate and then made our way down to the river. I will conveniently leave out the part where a crazy, lone cow chased followed us for a bit, so we got in some extra trotting before we got to the look out. After marveling at how the river bottom has changed since the two floods before Hurricane Harvey and then after Harvey, we tracked up river along the tree line towards the hill.

I was looking forward to a good lope up the hill for old time’s sake. I remember it being a bigger hill as hills go down here. At least big enough to lope for a bit. You know, feel the wind in your pony tail, or something like that. I had to laugh when the culvert at the base of the hill came into view. The big hill, in all its glory, looking back at me. I realized how small the hill actually is. Maybe ten strides long. Laughing, we went for a big trot up the hill instead. Being a Saturday, there were no church goers to listen to, so we turned and walked back. Half way there, the sun went behind the clouds, the wind picked up, and a few drops fell from the sky, but that didn’t dampen our spirits.

Funny how you remember things as a kid. I guess it is all just a matter of perspective. Back then I was little and more imaginative. Fresca was little. Today I am grown and Lito is quite a bit taller than ol’ Fresca. I think I will remember that hill as a big hill.

When the fog finally burned off this morning, it turned into a beautiful day. Cheetah and I had another ride in the pond pasture.

Now I am back at home. I did a very adult thing and sacrificed my day off tomorrow to do adult things instead of staying at the farm. I mean, look at those faces. So hard to leave them!

Naturally I did another very adult thing and procrastinated some of those things to clean and do laundry all afternoon and evening. Nothing like cleaning and laundry to procrastinate. Makes you feel like you got so much accomplished (which you did, so that is something) and takes enough time to keep you from doing what you need to do.

Looks like it will be a late night! Oh well!

Walk in love, dear readers, tomorrow is a new day!

Coffee Time

I just sat down with my coffee.

These past couple of days have been crazy at work with meetings and last minute requests. Yesterday was no different. I am praying that this all pays off and they sign on the line. I think we should have a party when they do.

Darcy dog is covered in my sister’s dogs’ slobber. I don’t care though because she is happy tired from all the play.

I should be folding laundry (laundry that I should have done Sunday), but I just need a second to sit and have my time. I have been cleaning and doing laundry for about 30 minutes now. I do not know what I am going to have for breakfast. Clearly, that is what is occupying my brain space at the moment. Naturally, I wanted to tell you about it.

I left work yesterday to run some errands. I had to go to the store to get some ingredients to make white chocolate macadamia nut cookies for the farrier. He is coming out Monday, a week early, so Lito can have a full set of shoes for our Hill Country adventure. I also owe him some cookies for other things. He is due for some.  After the grocery store, I ran to the liquor store because I had the time, and got some bubbly and tequila for the trip.

When I got home, I checked my work email on my phone and decided I should take care of a couple of things before tomorrow. I opened up the laptop to discover that the internet was not working. Great. I got back into the car and ran back up to the office to get it done. Good thing the office is only right around the corner.

I was shortly back at home and set to bake some cookies. I am glad I remembered to set the butter out!

Niece and Nephew are staying at my parents house, so when Mom wasn’t looking, I snuck a cookie to Nephew…and in his lunch for the next day. Perks of being an Aunt.

Niece is now awake. Kiddos are the best in the morning! There is not much brighter in this world. AHAmoment.

Mother turned something on the TV called Peppa The Pig, I think, for the kids to watch. Niece is getting upset at the little pigs getting muddy. This is entertaining. Girlfriend likes her rules.

The horse trailer is ready to be picked up from having its once over. One step closer to a few days of isolated horse time.

Side note, if I thought seeing everybody’s mares have foals was hard…it is oddly, doubly hard to hear of people breeding their mares. Practicing strong self restraint.

The laundry and my adult duties are looming. Still some things yet to do before I have to get to work. I better get moving.

I wonder what I am going to have for breakfast.

Did I already say that?

Walk in love, dear readers!

This Year End

Just like everyone else it seems, I too am reflective at year end. Many reflect on goals achieved, resolutions kept, or all the great things that have happened. I achieved some goals, kept zero resolutions, and did have some great things happen this year.

However, this particular year has been colored with many terrible events, which I will not continue to belabor at present (just read back if you are curious), that seem to overshadow the good.  I literally, between typing words, just spilled my champagne on myself while I was trying to take a sip. Very good adulating going on here. Can I get a participation award?

I think my only two resolutions this year will be to stop spilling on myself while drinking and to ride more. I guarantee that only one will be kept.

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I find myself wanting to hide until 2017 emerges just so nothing bad can happen, but alas, we can not hide from anything, no matter how hard we try. AHAmoment. When we try to hide, we are not able to see the good things that are happening around us and to us. I know this logically, but dang, it is hard sometimes.

Just a few hours ago I found out that my grandmother has had a fall and is having surgery tomorrow. Praise the Lord that it was not worse. The surgery is expected to be quick and she should have less down time than last time. That is the bright side. I need another glass of wine.

A little something I read today gave me a little perspective and gives me my message to this past year: Goodbye 2016, I won’t be looking back. Thank you to Mallory of AdultAmmyStrong for sharing your story. It has helped me. I also shared it with a friend of mine. I am so grateful to have my horses and my dog. When I feel like it is too hard to move forward, I do for them.

I am watching Love Actually this evening. The viewing of this movie used to be a Christmas tradition with my sisters and cousins. It has now faded away with the changing tides, but I still watch it every year at least once. Funny thing is I feel like this (the song part…and the love part) is a good summation of 2016 and how Christmas kinda felt. PSA…this is explicit and not PG-13!

I will not hide for the rest of 2016. I am going to fake it till I make it. It is not all bad. Can you hear my determination? I will dance like Billy Mack to the final count down.

I am going to go pour myself another glass of wine, try not to spill on myself, and watch the rest of the movie.

Walk in love, dear readers. I am only taking small steps as present. You can take small steps with me.