I have to tell you that a house without a dog in it is a really quiet house, and not in a good way.
I knew this already, but I kinda forgot.
I just recently went a on an adventure trip with R (Weee! More on that later) and returned home on Sunday.
Yes, yes, that IS exciting! But back to the point.
The bad part about this trip was that my Merle could not come along. That could all be fine and good because he does like it at his kennel where he is boarded, but the kennel does not do pickups on Sunday because they are technically closed. You know, Sunday and all.
So I had to wait until yesterday to go pick him up.
A WHOLE DAY.
That is a long time to be in an empty, quiet house. And I do not mind being the only person, seemingly alone. You could turn the volume up as loud as you wanted on the television or the music and it would still be quiet.
You see, a dog has a certain energy that they exude. Even if they are just sleeping in their bed, not even at your feet, their energy just fills a room. Then it is the lack of jingling collar tags. No little boop of a cold nose. No moaning and groaning in protest. No, well, I do not know if I can even describe it. It is like there is no feel or reciprocation of energy.
It is similar to that feeling you get when someone is watching you, you know? And you just feel it and turn to that feel to find who is looking at you? It is like that. When they are there, you can just feel them. When they are not, you feel that loss or empty and you find yourself looking around for them. Like they should be there but they are not.
Does anyone else ever feel that way?
Before I dropped Merle off at the kennel on Wednesday, we went to the farm to check on the horses and had an early birthday game of fetch in the pond.
He turned two years old on Thursday the 17th!
I figured if he could not come along with us, then he deserved some extra fun for his birthday!
I think he enjoyed that extra fun!
I mean. Just look at him.
Walk in love, dear readers, and stay tuned to hear about our trip!
Or a reminder for how old you are? No, forget about that, let us get back to the pick-me-up part!
I have just what you need. This will surely do it.
It is Thursday after all and we all know how I like alliteration, even if it is a social media thing…it is Transformation Thursday!
April, May, and June are an animal birthday trifecta over here! It just occurred to me. So much to celebrate!
My Lito turned eight (WHAT?) in April.
Cheetah girl will turn seventeen (again, huh?) here in five days.
Merley bob will be a big fat two on June 17th.
Where has the time gone? This is more than just a time warp.
Get some more coffee or tea and enjoy. The work will be there when your break is over.
Let us begin.
My Lito man.
I first saw Lito about thirty minutes after he was born. I about fainted when I first saw him.
He has really grown up! He was big from the start and he has not stopped being big!
He hated that birthday hat, so do not ask him about it. He hated it so much in fact, I could not even bring myself to post the pictures on his birthday.
He has grown into his legs, but he is decidedly tall at about 16.3 hh! I do think he is still getting wider. At least I really hope so. He is a slow developer, so we will see!
My Cheetah girl.
I started riding Cheetah when she was in her four year old year and she became mine at some point during that year. These are the earliest photos I have of her from her three year old year. At one point, my friend T found some foal pics of her, but unfortunately they are lost on an old computer of mine that I long ago lost entry to. Those pics were at an ugly duckling phase to say the least, so I am not too upset about it! Now her three year old pictures, well, that was decidedly not an ugly duckling phase.
She looks the same to me now as she did then.
This was her yesterday. It is a terrible picture, yes I know, but I do not care. She was dirty and hot and bothered by the mosquitos. She is out of shape as she has been out of work for months.
She may have some arthritis that plagues her and she may have some gray over here eyes and on her legs, but she is still my girl. My queen. She has given me so much and she continues to give. She has carried me through so much. She may not get as much of the spotlight these days because of Lito, but she will always and forever be my number one. We are still working through her arthritis/lameness issues and I do hope to have some news to share soon. My prayer is that we can get her comfortable and sound without having to give regular medication. It is a process.
Does that photo look familiar?
That would be because we have done this photo before!
Clearly at different times of year though! Same dog, same tree. Different year, different sunset.
I bet he will be a firecracker for years to come! I just hope he does not give me too many gray hairs. I am pretty sure he has already given me a few. That however, is a story for another day.
Do not forget to smile and breathe today. Forgive and have grace.
This morning I am sitting in a warm house with coffee and homemade pumpkin bread after feeding and mucking out the barn. A perfect time to talk with you, dear readers!
Say peace out to 2020! Say it all you like if that is what brings you joy. I won’t lie and say it does not bring me joy.
But, today is a day just like any other though, and many things in this earthly world we live in do not exist within our human schedules and boundaries. A new year in itself, this new year or any other, or a new day for that matter, does not guarantee change on its own or forgiveness from the very life we live. Forgiveness from its hardships or its joy. Its light. Its peace.
That my dear readers, is up to you.
Every day you have a choice. A choice to see and be good or not. A choice to love. A choice to see the joy. A choice to be happy. It is that simple. That is the AHAmoment. One of those keys to life.
Be the change you want to see. If you want greater change of any kind beyond yourself, look within your very person first.
Live the life you wish to see.
Be grateful for every morning you wake.
New Year’s Day or any day that I wake up and am able to breathe and see the sunrise, is a blessed day.
I thank Him for it.
Be grateful for the cleansing and growing rain. For the warming and invigorating sun. Both that give us life. Being happy in it and all the gifts of life like this dog. Even if it means wearing rubber boots more than not, trudging through the mud scooping up horse poop. Really, it could be worse! It could be flooding, for instance. Or burning.
I thank Him for it. The gifts of rain, sun, and my Merle. And yes, the poop too!
Oh to be happy like a dog! That is our ultimate goal!
Be grateful for your very life. Take time for yourself and do not be selfish. You can do you while still showing up for your people. Considering them. Be grateful for the people in your life and be grateful for the things in your people’s lives! Each of us in on a unique walk together to the same place. You are not meant to go through exactly what someone else is. Embrace and enjoy it! Community and fellowship is a big part of what makes this life what it is all about.
I thank Him for the people and animals in my life. To be able to do what I love with people I love is one of the greatest blessings!
Slow down and enjoy the little things. Build your life around what brings you joy. Ride more horses. Fish more waters. Hike more paths. Drive more roads.
Lay in the leaves with your dog. When was the last time you played in the leaves??? Inspire the kid within you!
Take more pictures of your actual life. Your actual view. Or draw. Or paint. Or play.
Take the time to hand graze your horse and have quality time. Have quality time with your people. Linger over your coffee. Slow down and enjoy the meal. Count all the colors you see.
Be grateful for your perspective. You are unique and uniquely made for a reason and a purpose!
I thank Him for it!
Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you happy. Brings you joy. Sparks inspiration. Sees the best in you. Does not take you away from what is good and right. Supports you. Sees life the way you do. Does not shrink from challenges.
You only get one life. A life made up of days, hours, minutes, and seconds. Do not waste a single one. You don’t get any of them back. You might not have tomorrow.
OK, yes, I made this up, but who cares. Get into THE SPIRIT with me.
In years past on the Facebook page and here on AHAmoments, we have done a run of Christmas music, and while I am not promising I will not share some of that great music, I think this year calls for a bit more ammo.
I can not help it with these memes, sorry, I am not sorry. They are just so apt.
Really though, at this point, I want to scratch out ‘2020’ in that first one and put in its place, ‘The Whole Of The Past Twelve Months.’
Well actually, ‘The Whole Of The Past Twelve Months And One Day.’
A year ago yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I had to make that terrible awful decision and actually act on it. My life has not been the same since and I do not think it will ever be the same again, and not just because of that fateful day.
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France
I miss everything about her and us. The words will not even come now, a whole year and a day later. That fateful day I had no choice. None.
That day I had to set my Darcy Girl free from her pain of this earthly realm. There was absolutely nothing else I could do. I had to do it for her. She was not even six years old. That is one of the hardest parts I think. We were supposed to have so much more time.
I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last year and a day (and not so much writing). It has been quite a year and it went by in a flash, but lot has happened.
That thing there I mentioned earlier. Choices. Yes, that one. We take that right and privilege for granted. That is one thing I know. Choices and time, that is what I have been thinking a lot about.
A little after Darcy’s day, before traveling all over kingdom come of this country over the summer (hey, I rode horses, caught fish, and got a Merle pup!), I blathered on here on AHAmoments about how life is about saying yes. Not just yes, but YES. Remember that? No? It does not matter, it seems silly in retrospect, but I did. I went on about saying yes to things and people and living what is left of your life because it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment. You know, beyond our control, out of our hands, not our choice.
Not long before Darcy’s day, I made a big bet (completely unrelated to Darcy) that had a very big chance of not working out.
An incredibly long story short, that bet did indeed turn out to be a losing bet. I was lied to and cheated on. Deceived. Taken advantage of and disrespected. My time was wasted. I got severely disappointed (hey, still kinda am). Mad. Angry. Sad. Mad at myself as well.
But you want to know what? Yes, I know you do. I have no regrets. I still believe those things about a yes life that I mentioned even still. That is the only way to live a life. It is too short not to. There are more important things than all that other stuff. I would not have a Merle pup or a Lito man if I did not believe these things. Where would I be without those two!? Or my Cheetah!? Even with Darcy. What if I did not get her when I did? Who would I be and where would I be without having had her in my life???
"No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses."~Herman Melville
The truth is, just like this very life itself, none of it is on our time frames. That is for the Man Upstairs. AHAmoment and do not you forget it.
You see, I indeed did make that choice. Or choices, rather. Nobody else. That is on me. The choice to bet on a person knowing it had a high chance of not working out. If I am being honest, I even felt it deep inside in that hidden place, despite all the words, that it was not going to work out (hey there, gut feeling Holy Spirit, sorry I did not listen you. I am still learning.). I did not listen to it, I wanted it to be different. The way the words (not actions) sounded. It was supposed to be great. You do not win if you do not bid, right? That is what they say. I trusted and said yes. It was my choice. I believed and fought for it.
Here is the thing. I can make another choice right here in the story. And I have. I vowed to myself to continue to say yes and be open in life and opportunities and adventures and, yes, people. To live life in the front row. To learn and be better. Like I said then, I will say it now, I have lived a third of a lifetime (if I am blessed enough to live to old age). I have zero desire to waste any of it, or any more of it.
I have learned and am still learning from my past and all the life that I have lived over 31.5 years. That is what is making me smarter and wiser, so long as I listen to my gut feeling. Learning what He needs me to for His purpose. You have to ‘watch their actions,’ as a wise women told me. Not the words. Believe what you see and what is shown to you. Make the choice to learn it and leave it.
Do not take your time or choices for granted.
Life is still going on all around us whether or not we are going with it. The choice is yours no matter the situation, do not waste it. You can get wrapped up in all the rest if you want. Get mad and angry. I did for a little bit. Then step forward and on. Forward is always the answer, just like with horses. Leg on.
All of that to say, that, even with all of that, the storms we go through (and we all do go through storms), they do not last. For anyone. We have so many rainbows. So many silver linings. So much wonder and light. So many blessings. That is right, WE. All of us. There is a reason for all of it, a greater purpose. We are learning through the journey to that purpose.
Like I said, I would not have Merle for not that awful day a year and a day ago.
Onward and upwards, my friends.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, and tomorrow is a new, blessed day! Go be your best self and be good to people.
Walk in love, dear readers, I hope these images of my loves brighten your 2020. Or Last Twelve Months And One Day.
Anyone still there? Tap. Tap tap.
Look! The pecans are coming! It is all in the natural way of things.
Err….by Monday, I clearly mean Tuesday. It is Tuesday. All day. It was Tuesday all morning and it will still be Tuesday all afternoon. Or, just a second Monday.
OK. Now that is clear…
I am back in the office. Well not at this very actual moment. I am at home for lunch, but I am back working in the office. I have not been in since I do not remember when. It feels odd. Strange.
Anyone else back in the office?
I mean, I obviously knew this day was coming and I could not work remotely forever.
I just really got used to it. That small taste. It felt right. More in the right direction.
Life got more pleasant. I turned off the news and ignored the media. I had so much quality time with Merle. My breaks were outside petting the horses and giving them treats. I worked outside on the porch half of the time. There was fresh country air and sunshine. Walking and fetch. Riding. Clear views. No concrete or buildings. Even for the days that I was in town last week, I was on my patio with Merle at my feet.
I mean, I had to put real clothes and makeup on for the first time since this all started! My left eye has been protest twitching all morning! You should have seen the look Merle gave me this morning.
One day, dear readers, one day.
For today, I have a job.
For today, I am recharged and realigned.
For today, I have all these happy memories of these guys to remind me.
Perspective, my people! They are my muse anyway, on this Muesday and every other day.
I am not sure who has it better, the horses or Merle.
He is such a dude.
Nothing like a good ride on a spring day with the egrets.
He says there are birds over there.
That look, I tell you.
Tell me, how is your Tuesday going?
Walk in love, dear readers. Smile at someone today, even if it is just with your eyes.
What is the word from the bird? Have you had a good day? How the heck are you?
It is May, right? How did that happen??? I have something to show and tell you, but it will have to wait just a minute.
Let me be honest here for a quick sec. I have no idea most days what day it actually is. I no longer know how long this has all been going on. Anyone else?
I have not worn makeup this whole entire time (my eyes I think have never been happier). I have trimmed my own hair twice (I was over due for a trim in the beginning of March). Once, I cut it with dull scissors. Whoops. Luckily for me, there has been no need to put work clothes on so I have lived in farm clothes. When this all started my house was a mess and I just left it that way. Unorganized. Things not in their places. Laundry. Yikes, the laundry. It was EVERYWHERE and in all states (a luxury as I live alone. I can do that if I want. Even if it drives me crazy). Also very dusty as it has been sitting, not lived in. I will not mention the pollen I had tracked in from walking through my patio when I came to check on it. And the hay and cut grass.
No, I will not do that.
Wait, I just did. Eh, whatever.
Yes, I just said that. All of it. You can judge me.
In spite of all of that, life is chugging along. Not much has changed since the beginning of this ‘rona time (sorry, I am not sorry, I like calling it the ‘rona) and I do not think I would have it any other way.
I have pretty much only seen my family. I have gotten a lot of fresh air and horse time as I have been living at the farm this whole time. I am also a bit tanner because I have been bad by not putting sunscreen on and wearing a hat at all times. I am getting a lot of the sunshine vitamin! I go to bed early and wake up, well, moderately early for me. I am normally a 5:30 AM riser. Lately, I have been staying in bed till almost 7! I manage to get my work done and have gotten pretty good at working just about anywhere. I did break down and get a monitor, keyboard, and mouse at some point and that makes it easier to work from my laptop. I get to see the horses graze across the pasture as I work. You can give me this view over any downtown, high rise CEO office. I have been trying to soak every moment in.
I avoid most all news (real, fake, or any other kind). I had the most extreme case of the Sunday ‘What Day Is It’ blues at the prospect of going back into the office soon. I should just be grateful that I still have a job at this point. I came back to town yesterday to get my life house back in order and begin getting my regular schedule back in place.
I have zero desire to put work clothes back on or start wearing makeup again. I am however, looking forward to getting my hair cut by the one and only person I let do it (besides, uh, myself) at some point. My house is looking like its old self again after my mad woman cleaning spree and I am mostly l caught up on laundry. My patio is all raked and clean of pollen and leaves and I have gathered all the clothes I need to donate. As much as I love being at the farm at with my horses (and these past weeks have been basically a dream living out there), I have missed my own space.
Enough about all of that. There are more important things to show and tell, especially for those that are unable to get out. How about some of my views over the past few weeks?!
These sunrises, man. The Lord does not mess around with His paintings! The only thing that makes them even better is a posing Lito. I even had a mug of coffee in my hand.
And egrets. They add a special touch, do they not?
I picked dewberries while drinking a glass of rose. Mamma said picking dewberries is as fun as an Easter egg hunt. I do believe she must be right because I had a joy of a time. She even went out and picked some more berries to make sure we had enough.
I then put those little gems of dewberries into a dewberry crumble pie. Boy howdy, that is one dang good pie. In addition to these wild dewberries, we also have wild mustang grapes growing here. Lots of them. Later this summer when they are fully ripe, I am going to make some jelly. It has been fun watching the grapes emerge on the vines.
The sunsets also never disappoint and watching them every evening does not take away how special they all are. Just look at that sun shining down on my ponies.
The beauty of spring continues to spring for the cactus blossoms.
Another view of spring and summer that I love is the storms. Y’all know I love watching storms. It does not matter where I am, but being a witness to them at the farm is really special.
This particular storm mostly avoided us and gave us very little rain, but it gave us quite a show to watch.
I had a very special ride on my best boy Lito right before I came back.
It was the right amount of spring breezy and we had a great lope out in the meadow pasture. The kind that makes you just grin from ear to ear and get giddy. And makes you giggle like a kid and remember all those memories and feelings and just what that special thing is inside you. He reads my mind. I do not even think I asked him for it. We just felt it one moment and just as lovely as you please we were dancing down the fence line.
Now. For the absolutely most important thing that I have to tell you.
He is back! And just. Look. At. Him. My life feels right again.
My life has had an emptiness about it without him.
And without his look.
He seems just as happy to be back.
I just love that setter stride.
I have to admit, having him away was even harder than I thought it would be with everything going on. Even with being able to visit him.
I am so glad to have my buddy back.
Walk in love, dear readers. Tell me something, anything!
Animals. They never cease to amaze me. I know I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I do not care. I have no doubt in my mind that they are all gifts to us. Angels in their own right, sent here and given to us for a specific reason and purpose. Even if only for a short period of time in our eyes.
I think Mr. Dirty Toes Merle might just have one of the most beautiful souls out there. He wants to be a friend to everyone and he does not give up until he gets just that. I have watched it with my own eyes.
Just look have a look for yourself.
He has finally started to win a few of the heifers over. I was taking care of some chores in the barn when I looked over and saw MUTUAL LICKING. Never have I seen any of our dogs do this. Not even my Darcy.
Now if only I could capture his antics with the cat……..