Still Here

Hi, ya, it’s me! I am still here. Well, there. Up in the air on a plane home after only moderate running through the airport.

Much to report, but that shall be later.

I need to get home first. It is calling to me like a beacon.

As are these guys.

Then I have to directly turn around and go to Louisiana for work. No rest for the weary as they say.

We will talk soon, dear readers, but until then, walk in love.

Breakfast For Dinner

And other serious, important topics.

I got home from an after work chat and glass of wine at Grandparent’s house with zero plans for dinner.

Figuring I would, you know, figure that out later, I poured myself another glass of wine, opened my computer, and set to planing the last details of my vacation in France.

Feeling like it was already next week, dreamily across the pond in France, I looked up and there was no French dinner fairy and no French dinner. Sigh. What to do.

Too bad I can not have a late night croissant for dinner. Wine and croissant. I mean, when in France, right.

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Imagine that as a croissant. Honestly though, carbs…I like them, so a baguette would be nice to.

I put my computer aside and started the Texas version of breakfast for dinner. Well, half-of-the-best-Texas-breakfast-for-dinner-I-could-do-with-what-I-had anyway. Pancakes, bacon, and wine. That would have to do.

When in Texas and about to be in France, right?

I was going to write somewhat or something about such topics as serious as independence or heaven, but that was all just WAY too serious and required too much focus. Especially when dreaming about France. I have always loved breakfast for dinner anyway. Not just when dreaming about France. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.

Just your average, random Thursday night.

Back to France. I will have a short 24 hours in Paris while I am there. If you have been, what are your top things to do there? Things you would not want to miss. I need opinions!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Something To Remember: Your Own Advice

Sometimes, remembering and taking your own advice can be difficult.

It can be hard.

Time marches on and a new day comes, you turn around and it is like you never made the revelation that time before. You have to do it all over again, but luckily though, it reveals itself quicker than the last time.

One day though, it finally begins to stick. That old time feeling comes back and you remember.

All of this to say, remember that time I shared with you the story of the wardrobe? It is an important life lesson and it is one that has been circling back around for me of late. So, I figured I would share it with you again.


“My mother always says that the people in your life are like a Wardrobe… There are some people that are in your life for only a season. There are some that are in your life for a few seasons or several years. Then there are some that are, as they say, timeless, that are in your life for the long haul. For the rest of your life.”

Things change. That is how this life works. It is part of the human condition if you will. Part of the blessing when you choose to see it that way. It is part of what makes us who we are and gets us where we are going. Part of our journey. Everyone has experienced this.

Interestingly, this American Aquarium album was recently released. On it, is this track. PSA, there is some ‘adult’ language in the first half. Sorry, but hey, we keep things real here, and this is just that. At the beginning, he shares the story behind the song. Y’all know how I love that. It really brings the lyrics to life and makes you think.

The funny thing is, I was listening to this album on repeat and I did not even realize it or why. It hit me Sunday before I headed home from the farm. Do yourself a favor and have a listen to the whole album. Buy and listen to it on repeat.

Then naturally, I had to go and listen to this song.


“Oh, but seasons come for moving
Forces greater than ourselves
But there’s nothing we are losing
Keep it right there on the shelf
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be a way back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend”

And then the whole album because, hello.

Music, man. If need another form of proof that we are not alone in our struggles, music is it.

I said it then and I will say it again today because it is still true for me.

I am beyond grateful for all the people that used to be in my life, the people that are in my life, and for all the people yet to be in my life. You are all a blessing to me. You are part of what makes me who I am and part of what makes my life, my life. Thank you for everything you have taught me or given me. Thank you for making my life richer, bolder, and full of color. Thank you for the smiles and laughs. Thank you for being there and being you.

I hope I did the same for you.

Walk in love, dear readers!

Dreams

You know, dreams are funny thing. I have always thought this.

Some nights you do not remember any of them. Some nights you wish you did not have any, but you can not shake the memory for the life of you. Some dreams are even repeat players. Then there are the nights where you have such vivid and clear and lovely dreams that the images and feelings stick with you for more than just the day, but for what feels like a lifetime. You could retell, with exacting clarity, every moment of that dream over and over. God help the person that really dislikes to hear about dreams. I seem to find myself compelled to tell those people all about my dreams.

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I have had two of those dreams in as many weeks.

The first was not this past Monday, but the Monday before.

In this dream I was riding Lito in a little arena by a little white house with peeling and chipping paint out in the country. Set off a little ways by a small, quiet country road with little traffic. The rest of the property was cross fenced with rusty barbed wire and crooked wooden posts into little pastures full of grass. All of this was surrounded by other, similar parcels.

The house had a green and white striped, mildew stained awning over what I guess what the kitchen window and a little covered porch that led to the front door. The front door had a big square window with a curtain hanging from the inside. Next to the door on the porch, crookedly sat one of those rusty, metal chairs. Part way facing the road and part way facing down the two steps off the porch and to the arena.

There I was was with my Lito, riding in that little arena. It was day time, but I remember there were arena lights that could be used for night rides. And we were not alone. There were a handful of other riders with us. All doing our own thing, as I was. The curious thing about it was, I do not think I knew any of them. Maybe it was that they were not important to what was between us. Between me and Lito.

I did seem to know, in some form or another, a man that was standing, leaning on the arena fence by the road. The manner of our connection I knew not, but when we trotted down that long side of the arena where he was near the end of my ride, we smiled at each other. Seemingly knowing something, the same thing.

I know what I knew. It was Lito and the ride was magical. We were totally in tune. That is the only way I can describe it. He was forward, but not too. He was just there. My thoughts were his and his were mine. It was our own little world out there in that little country arena and we just were. It felt like a dance I have yet to really know. Focusing and working on nothing, just riding.

That is when I woke up, as I trotted past the man. I awoke knowing, somehow, that feeling was going to come true soon. Part of me wanted to cling to the sleep to try and get back to the dream (it is truly a shame that is not a thing) and the other part of me wanted to play hooky from work and go ride. And alright, I admit, there was a third part of me who wonders who the man was. Strange to have that strong of a feeling and it had me in a daze for days.

I had another of those dreams last night. It is actually one I think I have had before and not all that long ago.

I was in a place I have never been in real life. I want to say that it was not Texas, but I do not want to admit that. It felt like a foothills region if not even mountainous. The air was crisp, the grass was very green, and the trees felt like they looked like Aspen trees, but I do not think they were. It was easy to visualize, standing and looking off the porch in the back, snow being there.

The building was somewhat of a log cabin style and there was an attached side building or room and the door out front was open. There was at least one other person with me, but again, I do not know who. The building was situated on the top of a little hill that likely went down to a little creek on the back side, but it was not a very steep hill. It was more of a gently sloping hill in most places.

I do not really know what was on either side of this building, but I knew there had to be a barn close by because as I entered this side room, I realized it was a tack room. And rather oddly, an empty tack room with a full wall covered in saddle racks. It was dark, but it was warm, cozy, comfortable, and full of color. It was then that the feeling began. I told somebody with a silly, childlike grin on my face that I had to put my tack in there. As only a horse girl would.

We continued through the tack room and past an unknown hallway, out the back door to the aforementioned porch looking down the hill where the truck and trailer full of horses was parked in the driveway that circled around the back. I know Lito was in there.

I looked around me, standing there on the porch. At the seating arrangement around me and down to the green grass and trees. And then to my left at the lower level deck and chairs down the stairs. I was hit with the feeling from before while I was in the tack room that this place, wherever it was, would be like home to me, if not my actual home one day. For as different as it was from the farm, it felt like the farm.

That was when I woke up. Dreams, man, they are an odd thing. I think I need another cup of coffee.

Have you ever had dreams like that? What do dreams mean to you? Tell me! My family hates hearing about my dreams. I just had to share.

Walk in love, dear readers!

Tuesday’s Track

You know those songs that just never go out of style? That are always applicable? Sometimes they may take you back, but just as often, they speak to you right now in the present because it is honest, raw, and real?

This, my friends, is one of those.

I have probably shared this before, but I do not care. Give it a listen. I just can not get enough of it. Ever. For years I have been listening and it hits me the same every time.

As thought provoking as it is, it is soothing to the very soul.

Always striving for that inner peace. Stillness. Silence. Walking your path. Focusing on Him through it all, no matter what is going on around.

“I been thinkin’ too much about it
What I thought was certain, now I doubt it
So if its over tell me where do I begin
And are there anymore answers left out there in the wind
Sometimes I feel like an Amarillo windmill
Standin’ out in the great wide open alone
And every thought’s a gust of wind
Spins the blades in my mind again
If they spin too much they might break or bend
Aw but if that wild wind ever did lie still
My dreams would turn to rust out in the fields
So I’ll just watch the world fly by me
There’s a silence wellin’ up in side me
Let the rains fall let the winds do what they will
Let it all spin, just let me be still
Sometimes I feel like an Amarillo windmill
Standin’ out in the great wide open alone
And every thought’s a gust of wind
Spins the blades in my mind again
If they spin too much they might break or bend
Aw but if that wild wind ever did lie still
My dreams would turn to rust out in the fields
Yeah but if that wild wind ever did lie still
My dreams would turn to rust out in the fields”
~Mike McClure, The Great Divide

Stir that around in your pot of thoughts, dear readers, and walk in love!

Tidbits Part Two

Really, just because the last one was so fun. Here is a little more. And because it is Friday and that means the weekend!

  1. I prefer animals to most people. They are just honest and pure. Their intentions are clear and they do not have expectations.

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  2. My dog, Darcy, sleeps on the bed with me. She has her own sheet to contain the dog hair. She is not however, allowed on the other furniture. Boundaries, man.
  3. Even though I do not wear makeup all the time, I actually really do enjoy putting it on and the finished product. I am just lazy and it hurts my eyes after a while.
  4. I do laundry when I run out of clean boot socks. Priorities. That also means I do mountains of laundry at the same time. It is exhausting.

  5. I have a friend I met in college that thinks it is weird that I do my own laundry. I am still not sure what this means about me. I chalk it up to the fact that we are really different from each other. If we were any more different, we would me more alike. I love that.
  6. My sisters once locked me in a dog crate. It was rude and funny.
  7. I thought about being a graphic designer, an architect, or a landscape architect before I settled on geology in school.
  8. I have used to have a very strange fear of getting stuck in cars. Like stuck in the mud. Strange, I know. This is inexplicable to both me and my father.
  9. I used to wear reading glasses and I probably still should. I have an eye that moves faster than the other. I still to this day use guides for my eyes when I read, otherwise I lose my place.

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  10. I was never really into most Disney movies growing up. If it wasn’t a horse or dog movie, I did not really care about it. My friends find this odd.
  11. I sometimes dream about just driving past my office and just rolling down the road. Just not show up one day. I did that in high school too. I never could get up the nerve to just do it though.
  12. I like to Sunday drive every day of the week. It appears that this makes many other drivers, apparently in a rush, angry. I get sped around often. My eldest sister tells me I drive like an old person. What can I say, I am an old soul.

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  13. I like to drink Coca-cola with lime.
  14. I am minus an appendix and four wisdom teeth. Why do they call them wisdom teeth? Speaking of teeth, three of our horses got their teeth floated today. Also, having had surgery, I really do not understand why people elect to have surgery for non health related reasons.
  15. I did not start drinking coffee until I was in my last year of undergrad. Speaking of coffee, I think I will have another cup. Why not, it is Friday after all.

Have a great day and walk in love, dear readers!

I Know You Are Curious

It was a cold and wet day yesterday that had me wanting to snuggle up next to a fireplace with a good book and my dog at my feet. Especially when it is a Monday and your work computer goes on the fritz, again, wasting half a day. Today is still chilly, but they say it is going to be sunny and will warm up.

This weekend brought a legitimate cold front our way and brought straight up winter. Cold, windy, cloudy winter. Such a damper I dare say. It was hard to get much done. You just have to love Texas weather and marvel at it while throwing a sheet on the old horse. It was a good thing I had yet to put the blankets away!

The only photo I took this weekend other than some of Darcy pointing at a squirrel like the good bird dog she is.

Alright, back to last week. I know you are dying to know. If you wanted to know, since I asked you, yes I indeed do believe in Angels. I have not seen one before, but I know people who have and have received messages from them. I am not sure if I believe in ghosts or not, but I have always felt that our farm house has one. Clearly benign. I also once had a rather long conversation, mostly one sided, with our exterminator on ghosts. He definitely believes in them and says he has two in his house. One not so nice apparently. I sure as heck do not believe in Ouija boards.

Now for animal communicators. I will let you do your own research on it if you wish, but I will get straight on with it.

In my, I guess excitement coupled with curiosity, I reached out to two different people I found via a couple of recent threads in a horsemanship forum on the internet. It was/is a very popular subject it seems. One lady does this just for fun and anther you pay $50 for a 30 minute phone call. Interesting, I know, but this is apparently a thing.

After my inquiries, I went about my business with not much other thought on it.

Then I got a message reply from the free lady. Here is our resulting conversation…


Me: Hello there. I saw your comment on a post in the Horse Human Bond group. I am interested in someone communicating with my horse and was wondering if you could help me. I have never done this kind of thing before, but we have been having issues lately and I just wish I knew what happened or what is going through his head. His name is Lito. (I also included some photos).
Animal Communicator (AC): Oh gosh! I have done communications on the past but not for years. Happy to have a go . Don’t tell me any more, and give me a couple of days. 🙂
Me: OK, thanks. I really appreciate it!
AC: Oh! Gut pain? Impatience. Okay, I guess we’re doing this right now ! Babyish. Like… inexperience. Gut. Gut gut gut. Hingut ulcers a possibility? Being skittish sideways. Just throwing everything I get out there to you at the mo.
Me: Interesting. I don’t know! I’m not sure if he’s shown signs or not. He is out on pasture 24/7. But I have been drawn to listen to his gut a lot lately. I also worry abt colic like most horse ppl. Do you want to me comment or no lol sorry.
AC: I don’t even know what the signs are for them, I think they’re fairly silent. Whatever you feel like lol.
Me: He is not yet 5. There has been lots of sideways recently lol.
AC: There’s tenderness on his right hand flank… like maybe it hurts issue or maybe he’s been bruised there. Sorry sometimes the info isn’t always in chronological order. Like this could have been a past thing but I’m getting current. Oh, something’s changed, and he’s really confused about why. Is he stabled now? Away from his friends? I’m not at all sure this us right but, saved from a place with lots of horses crammed in together. He’s pawing a lot, as if in frustration, though I think that’s at me 😂
Me: Interesting. His living has not changed, but we went to a weekend clinic in the beginning of March where he was stabled. I would not consider that cramped. And back in the fall we went on a week long trail ride where he had to stay in a tent barn. That I would consider cramped! He paws out of frustration. He’s very communicative.
AC: Yeah, that makes sense. He’s shown me him bucking and broncing and he slipped, twisted his pelvis. Near hind.
Me: Not while riding.
AC: No, in the field.
Me: Yes, well wow. That has happened recently. Can you tell him something?
AC: I love it when specific enough communication happens to confirm it! Sure. He does like you. He’s confused as F sometimes but he feels is important to let you know he likes you.
Me: Tell him I’m so sorry that happened. I never wanted anything like that to ever happen to him ever!
AC: OK he’s not done saying stuff then I’ll see if he received that. Why is he showing me his forehead? Its a really specific place, and I don’t think it’s on him but there’s a crescent moon shaped star. Is this another horse?
Me: He has a little tiny star. Um. Another horse. Thinking.
AC: The other thing is a dog, white and brown. Short haired dog.
Me: We have a passed white and brown English setter. Had some hair but not like most ppl think of. Short for setters. Ugh I can’t think. Star only? Not star stripe?
AC: A scar? Is there anybody with that shaped scar or markings? Is his moon shaped?? Bay.
Me: Well his mom has some scars on her side. One somewhat crescent moon shaped. And star stripe. She’s not bay. We have a passed horse that was bay. I want to say she had a scar but can’t remember. Or where.
AC: Any of these have a banged fringe? Like somebody went to tidy it up but the forelock ended up cut straight across?
Me: Hmm. No.
AC: Okay. I don’t know what that is then. Perhaps it’ll percolate through over the next few days. I tried your message again – there’s a lot of sadness from him. Also release, you know when they do a big sigh. He’s asking for more time to figure things out. Like if you ask him to do something under saddle, give him more time to work out the response. There’s a horse that’s passed over who spends time with him a lot. He’s comforted by her. Maybe this is the moon scar/star one.
Me: I’m sad he’s sad. It’s tearing me up these last few weeks that it has not been the same. OK, I will do that.
AC: Gosh. And a sister. This is a really weird/uncomfortable thing to say but I don’t know if she’s here or if she was a twin pinched out or lost in pregnancy.
Me: Oh wow. His mom took with twins and we pinched one of them off. Yikes.
AC: OK. The other was a filly and she’s around with him, happy and carefree. Its very much a nice feeling.
Me: Oh ❤️
AC: I see there being two passed horses with him, one this twin and other other an older mare, a mother figure but not his mother. He’s fully aware of them both around and kinda amazed that these humans can’t see them 🙂. Okay, I think there might be a list of demands about to happen, like a pop star’s hotel rider. He wants to play, he wants a play mate his age.
Me: Oh I want that for him so bad. He loves to play and only has older ones that do not want to really play.
AC: He wants to just chill out with you, hang around like friends. I see it as when you’re on him he would like some of the time to pootle around, have his say in where to go – he wants to show you some things, like objects or places. That’s not to say that’s the only thing he wants to do with you but the impression overall is less of the agenda, more of just spending time together bonding. There may be eating straw involved in this 🙄 (I dunno, that’s just what I’m getting!) There’s a girl? As in a child? He likes her.
Me: OK lol I enjoy the piddle bonding too. In fact prefer it. I just get wrapped up in trying to accomplish.
AC: Can you do fun things with him? Like hide the carrot?
Me: There are a few girls that love him. How little? More about her? OK, lol, hide the carrot.
AC: Blonde. I’m a bit rubbish with ages but maybe 7-8 ish? She’s ridden him, or at least sat on him. Oh! There a bit of an oops there, like that wasn’t something you were supposed to know about! 😳
Me: OK the only one that’s sat on him is 3 and she is blonde. Ohhhhhhh well, I suppose that is a possibility too. With the older blonde one.
AC: Lol. Her, the older one. He likes her.
Me: Tel him it’s OK. I would have done the same at her age and in fact did.
AC: Lol. He could, if you allowed it, be a really special relationship with her. The little one is cute too but wriggly 😂. He’s like you to gauge his mood when you go to ride him, then do something that fits. Sometimes that’s high energy, sometimes that’s a plod hack. He’d like a tyre or some tyres to play with, they look like fun.
Me: OK. Like a car tire?
AC: Any questions you have for him? Yes, a car tyre.
Me: Ok lol. What does he want to do more of? What happened with the trailer? Please don’t chase Apache! …or the dogs. Play with Petunia and Chance! Does he like the group trail rides?
AC: More fun. Variety. His back legs slipped – particularly that one we talked about earlier. He showed me him turning around and walking away from the trailer. Not running but in a no thanks mood.
MeHow come? Because of the slipping?
AC: Did he travel with an Appaloosa? (Or however that’s spelled!) Trailer is too small for him, so he says. Width ways (but height too.)
Me: Not travel, lives with one. I have worried about the trailer being too small. I can’t fix that over night. 
AC: I’m definitely getting a kind of that’s how he feels about it but not the truth as we humans would see it – we would see it as he’s feeling a bit claustrophobic. He’s always in the left side of the trailer when he shows me. View from behind.
MeI understand that. I get claustrophobic too. But it’s a really nice safe trailer.
AC: He doesn’t understand the trailer. Small space, loud noises, vibration, balance, get out somewhere different. I’m still seeing this appy in with him. Maybe one to try?
MeDoes he not enjoy when we go places? When he’s out of the trailer? OK. So appy in the trailer? He want to try that? Does he say why?
AC: Yes he enjoys it but there’s a feeling of overwhelm, like he’s just had to deal with the trailer now all the new sensory explosions of a new place. I’m reminded of adults with autism, lots of quite intense sensory stimulus at once is hard for him to deal with. It’s exhausting for him. The trail rides are fun, but the sensory experience is exhausting.
Me: Which hind leg? How can I help him with the sensory overload? Also. Kites and fireworks won’t hurt him.
AC: Near hind. Can we get used to the trailer journeys and not end up in a new place – so load, go for a drive, end up at home. Needs longer to adjust to the trailer than you think. Or go somewhere, but go to the same place each time.
MeOK that was my plan for the next step.
AC: Trusts the appy. I get the impression that is is Apache, the one you want him to stop chasing?
Me: Yes.
AC: One of the mares he was talking about earlier names begins with an E. He wants you to tell him yourself about not chasing Apache etc and to tell you the others don’t always want to play. (I do not know the mare.)
Me: I know they don’t want to play lol and I do tell him! 😂 tell him myself, funny guy.
AC: Yes, sense of humour for sure. Kites and fireworks same sensory problem – overwhelm. Your heart rate goes up which shows him you’re worried about them. (I was not by him during the kite incident, but I was in sight.) He not gonna agree to stop playing with the dogs 😳😂
Me: Gosh I love this horse. He knows that right? He is a gift to me. Means the world to me.
AC: He knows ☺️

Then the conversation ended because it was in the middle of the night for her.

Interesting, no? I do not know how she could have come up with some of those things.
A day or so later I had my paid phone conversation. I wanted to do two to see if they would say the same things. This lady was older and kinda hard to understand. I did not write this conversation down and I do not remember all of it (because she thought I had a pet parrot, nothing against that…I just do not have one), but here is the gist…

His vertebrae are out in his croup and his right hind is sore. She said nothing about his gut until I asked specifically about his intestines. To which she responded, why yes, there is a spot there that is painful. He thinks the idea of dressage is silly, does not see the point, and prefers trail riding in western tack. I am a good rider and he had no complaints (He does not know any different, so we will take it!). I have good, soft, steady hands. My right stirrup is slightly longer than my left and I drop my inside shoulder going counter clockwise (which, when I think about it…might be true). He likes me and my pockets full of treats. He thinks his mom is a *cough,* or er acts like a, uhh, female dog. He stopped talking because he started eating. (For this conversation I was sitting on the porch watching him in the pasture. He was grazing the whole time.)

And there you have it! What are your thoughts?
Walk in love, dear readers!

Marbles.

Marbles. Yes, those marbles. Have I lost them? It might be entirely possible, but I might just be a believer now.

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Go ahead and judge me. It is quite alright.

Sometimes I surprise myself.

I did a thing. Not only did I do that thing, but I did that thing twice..in two days. It was only right to make it come closer to a valid experiment. You know, science and all that because I am, uh, a scientist. But it was more than that. I was terribly curious. And have always wanted to do this. Ever since I was little and watched Animal Planet all the time. I was that kid. I never thought I would actually do it though.

What was it you ask?

I don’t really even want to tell you, but I am going to. I can’t not! Lovely grammar I know. I have not told anyone, so everyone is going to find out at the same time.

Have I built it up enough? Shall I do more?

No? OK.

Well, I was speaking with Anne from over at HorseAddict about Lito and this phase he is going through.

She mentioned using an animal communicator as she has used one in the past with her horse.

I thought to myself, “Heck. Why not.” And by thought to myself, I did not really…I just contacted a couple after doing a little bit of research.

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Now, I do not really know what all this is about and I did it mostly because I was curious what would happen. I have read several reports of people who wholeheartedly believe in this stuff and swear up and down that it makes a difference. I even know a person who has done it before and I think was on the news or one of those Animal Planet shows. I do not think she believed it though.

I will present the conversations and let you be the judge. I will say I am intrigued, to say the least.

Do I believe it? I am not quite sure. Is it a bit out there past hippie dippie? Sure. But I have some hippie dippie in me, so, you know.

But I want to know something first. Have any of you used an animal communicator before? Or anything like that? Do you believe in ghosts? Seen an angel? Even a Ouija board. Those always creeped me out as a kid. Heck, even now!

So. Share your story! Check back later this week to read mine!

Walk in love, dear readers!

It just got real interesting!

Friday

Today is Friday.

More like Friyay.

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Yaaayyyyy!

I love Fridays.

Do you know why?

Because there are only a few more hours between me and this…

You want to know what else is yay? I get to find out if I am going to have a niece or a nephew on Sunday! I am thinking pink. I just have a feeling.

I have one more yay. I think spring has sprung. There is pollen everywhere! This is not so yay for allergies, but this is yay because things are going to get green and it is going to get warmer. That is reason enough for a happy dance. All that rain can finally get to work and grow some grass.

By the way, thanks for yesterday. I just needed to get that off my chest. It has been developing for a while now. I will let you know when I know.

Back to being positive and yay!

Until next time, dear readers, walk in love!

Restart

I am going to get a little serious today. I try to keep things real over here for the both of us. Well, because that is life, isn’t it? And this is something that has been on my mind. There are too many people out there these days that try to paint an altered image of who they are instead of just being themselves and being honest.

This is me and this is my life.

I need a restart. A reset. A refocus.

It is no secret that I have been in a little bit of a funk these days and desiring more or  different from or out of my life. Questioning if I should continue this path and stay the course or to venture on a new one. The form of that change is something I am still trying to work out. I am, quite literally, at a crossroads. Part of me says, “get over yourself, just do it. Do something,” while the other part of me says, “you’re not ready yet. You need to work through this first.”

Even as I have typed all of this, I want to delete because it is still scary to think about and say out loud. Even if I have said it before.

But that is not the point. The point is, I am harboring all of this inside, working that circular thought process over, and not focusing on what is important. Not focusing on the Lord and giving it up to Him. Trying to do it by myself for myself. It is leaving me clouded and bringing me down. I am having a hard time seeing the light and it is more than just because of the weather. It is weighing me down.

I need to remember He has the plan and He is building me up for something. I need to reset and put my full focus on Him. My heart and my head. He knows the way. AHA moment.

I have talked about Soulshine with you before. Not that long ago. What I said then is a good reminder for today.

I have been thinking this morning about faking it till you make it because I am tired of feeling this way and looking this way. So that will be me. Faking it till I make it till I figure it out. Adding more leg and pushing through.

Are you tired of talking about this yet? I am. I feel like I have said this multiple times and I know the reel has not stopped.

Luckily daylight savings time is right around the corner and that means more riding. I need more riding. Too bad it is not this weekend. It would be nice to get more rides in before the clinic I am riding in next weekend, but any riding I am grateful for with this weather. I do not think I have ever ridden so little in my life. Which does not help anything!

Any of you have any life changing stories for me?

Walk in love, dear readers.