When you feel guilty…

img_9009Today is a two cup of coffee day for me. I somehow forgot to set an alarm last night for this morning. I know, I know. I should just have one set for every week day, but I just do not function that way. Get over it. I woke up a little late and could not get moving. Darcy being turbo cute and cuddly did not help me either. 2 cups needed. I had one cup at home and part of another while driving. I am sitting at my desk finishing what is left, enjoying the morning quiet and stillness. If you are wondering, yes, I cleaned off my desk…well, by off I mean a spot big enough…to take that picture. Yes, that is a very riveting coffee photo. Please pardon the glare. Although, I am going to tell myself it adds to the composition…I should have made Christmas coffee today. I love Christmas coffee. Christmas music. Everything Christmas.

Anyway, I digress. I only have the amount of time left that it will take me to finish my coffee to talk with you. Yesterday I felt guilty. Like really guilty. Guilty that I do not ride as much anymore. Guilty that I am not doing more horsey things like taking lessons, going to clinics, showing. I used to be able to ride 2 to 3 horses a day while going to school full time and participate in clinics and horse shows on the weekends. I just can not flat out do that right now. My horses are an hour away from me. I work full time, you know that whole ‘adulting’ thing. Everyone is getting married and having babies (let us not talk about that anymore. I swear I feel like the only single person left). I try to have a ?social life?. Trying being the operative word. And I am blessed to have a large family here in town and we always have functions and ‘get togethers.’ Life gets in the way.

Do you ever feel that way? It does not have to be just horses. Anything that you love and do not seem to have time for at the moment. Read this. Thank you to Megan Inglis and Horse Junkies United. My friend shared this article and I have to share it with you because it spoke to me.

The thing is, I am creating that guilt. There is no reason for it. Do I wish I could do all of those things I used to? Yes, but that would mean I am not where I am now with the opportunities I have now. It is just a season. At the present moment, I do not have all the time in the world. It hurts that I do not have time because I miss my horses and feel that they miss me. It hurts because I feel like I/we are losing ground and not learning and advancing. However, they are happy and have more than they need. They get to be horses. We are all happy when we do see each other. I need to focus on the moments we do have together. The simple fact of the matter is, I am NOT not losing ground and not advancing. I learn from them every time I am with them and we are developing a different part of our relationship. It is all a part of our journey together. This season will not last forever. Just like the heat of summer does not last all year. Today is the first day of fall. Soon, it will actually feel like fall. Well, even if just for a moment here in the southern part of Texas. Do not feel guilty, dear readers. Have faith and ride the season out. Enjoy the moments and your journey. It is about the process. You can make it a tragedy or a party. AHA moments right there.

This a good metaphor for life, no?

Praying for the next season.

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