Life is interesting. I have been very introspective as of late. You have probably noticed this. I would say it is the holidays, but really every year it begins in October because that is when my birthday is.
I began 2016 with such hope and many plans. Even with the state of the oil & gas industry and the death of our Mr. Man just a few months prior, I was prepared to make it a good year. Here is a little confession time, I put myself in a safe and protected position. I moved back in with my parents in case I lost my job. Bless them. I am so grateful for my parents allowing me (and my Darcy dog) to move back in. It has not been easy. This was really not something I wanted in my life plan and do not like to admit, but plans change so we change. We accept and move on. It is always hard. It was/is temporary. It was/is the smart thing to do.
I was going to focus on the good and make it good. I still had a job and I was saving money. I worked at a place that allowed me to have a schedule and life and they were great people. I was going to continue going to bible study and start reading my bible daily. I even got one of those read the bible in 365 days deals. Really, I bought it way before that, but I was going to start it. I was going to start riding my Lito man in the spring. I had some goals set for us. My middle sister was getting married in the summer to a wonderful man. At the end of the summer I would find out if I got accepted into this exclusive, ladies group. If accepted, we would go on a week long riding retreat vacation in the fall. I am person who tends to be resistant to change, but I was ready and open for the change that could happen and wanted things to start moving in my life.
2016 has been a hard year. Some are extremely difficult to digest and talk about. Our ranch hand that took great care of my babies and buried Mansebo was tragically killed in a car accident. He worked for us for seven years. We have yet to find a suitable replacement after trying three different people. The river flooded twice, taking fencing, water lines, and water troughs with it both times. Lito’s goals came and went like a flash before my eyes without my say thanks to the weather. We have lost a few big calves for no apparent reason. There have been several unexpected deaths, human, equine, and bovine. Since spring I have only been to bible study a handful of times. I am currently on day 11 of my daily bible reading. Day 11. I read day 11 yesterday. Go me, and I still live with my parents.
Many great things did happen though. I still have my job at this wonderful company with great people. We are hopeful to see this thing through to the other side. I still have two full sets of grandparents. I am a proud new member of an equestrian sisterhood and had a blast on our week long ride. My sister is happily married to that wonderful man. They are coming home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. My niece turned 1 year old. Lito has been started under saddle and is a great youngster. I could not have dreamed up a better one. I am in no hurry with him and have no reason to rush or get upset if it is not as I expected or planned. This is about him and us, not me. I even got to ride him through the shallows of the flood at a big, floaty, water splashing trot. Think big boy trot down the diagonal and that was only his 4th ride. We had several grass growing rains, even if they did flood. Better than the drought. I am trying to make reading my bible part of my routine, absorbing the messages He is trying to teach, and pray every day.
I feel in some ways very much the same as I did almost a year ago in January, in other ways I am different. I adapted and changed my plans. I moved on. Made new goals and kept some old ones.
I still feel stagnant in my life. Change is happening, but it feels as if it is happening around me. I still am unsure if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
I did read my bible yesterday and prayed a couple of times. Here is the interesting thought were I started off writing this post. How it took that many words to get here, I am not sure. I woke up twice last night and remember even though I was not fully awake thanking God for everything I have and everything He has done for me, with me, and through me. Hello Holy Spirit! Something is happening inside me even if it feels like am standing still, my feet stuck in concrete blocks. Today I am praying for intention. To be intentional in my bible reading. To be intentional in my prayer with Him. To be intentional about being open to His will for me. I am going to read day 12 when I get home.
Spread the peace, love, and joy my dear readers. We all need it. Everyone is walking in their own shoes. Help each other focus on the good and the positive.
Tomorrow is Friday. That means the weekend. Then it is Thanksgiving! Then it is Christmas! How is that for positive!