When It Rains

This world has a lot of sayings, many that are often misunderstood. Have you ever heard the one about when it rains?

Something about it pouring?

Ya. I have heard that too. When it rains, it pours. A lot actually. I even use the phrase myself, lightly and in passing, never really giving it much thought. It has a whole new meaning to me now.

It truly is a shame that sometimes, as in right now, my life can not be like a music video. At least there would be some laughing matter.

Yes indeed, something quite like this. This looks lovely, would not you say? Kinda funny.

However, in my particular case these days, when it rains…..

It pours…

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Sorry, I am not really sorry. I do not know how to even say it without trying to make light while my heart is in my throat choking me.

This is my reality. Part of the ‘whole lotta life‘ I have been living. A curve ball so far out of left field, it came from the right, just as the fast ball barreled through the heart of home plate.

I can’t believe I am having to write this. Never did I ever think in a million years this would happen.

I have some not so good news to share. The worst possible kind.

The silent kind.

My Darcy has been diagnosed with cancer.

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What the literal heck fire on God’s green earth?!

My sweet and innocent Darcy girl. Not even six years old.

It is quite advanced and pervasive. Between ultrasound and test results, her current status and lack of appetite, my own research, and separate vet opinions, there is not a viable treatment option.

I am completely gutted. It has taken us by storm, the likes of which I have never before known. Not like a slow creeping hurricane. It feels more than rude and unfair. Human life is hard enough on its own without making the animal lives hard.

I could go on in this manner, and admittedly I have had those moments (completely broke down while driving and again on a restaurant patio with my mom), but we must be strong and positive for her. View the world and live life the way she does. Give her the best of the best. Keep playing. We have not struck out in the game of life.

So.

We celebrate the life we have, every day, and take each day as it comes. I am going to do everything I can to give her the best quality of life possible until it is her time. She can eat whatever she wants to eat, healthy diet out the window. She is going to go with me everywhere possible. We are going to have as much farm time as I can manage. We find a reason (and there are many) to sing a song through it all.

All the prayers, positive thoughts and vibes would be greatly appreciated by us both.

I do not understand this and I do not think I ever will.

Such a happy dog that brings endless joy to every being she encounters. So much greatness must be shared. Her spirit must have a greater calling.

If you have any tried and true proven ways to keep a dog eating, lay them on me. I need more tricks up my sleeve.

There is a life lesson somewhere in here. I am just working on unpacking it.

Walk in love, dear readers, even when it is dang hard. I am taking my time.

 

 

A Heart Beat Apart

Good morning, dear readers!

Yes, I know that is a sunset picture, but I like it and it makes my heart smile. So there.

Anyway, today is Tuesday. Tune Tuesday. So, tune in.


“So take what you got and do something with it
Don’t waste your money on cocaine and whippets
And watch what you say at the end of the day
You get less for your dollar and more heck to pay
Well my grandpa said
Living and dead
Are only a heart beat apart”
~The Damn Quails

Walk in love, dear readers.

No moment is promised.

Give up what you are holding on to. Pray for the faith to be generous, vulnerable, and courageous. Give of yourself to others. Everything is possible.

Afraid

Do not be afraid. Fear, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant, is no way to solve a problem or live a life.

Know what is in your heart and have faith. Stand your ground against the dark and fight for what you know is true. Pray about it and then let it go.

It is not about how much faith or having enough faith. Faith alone. Period. A drop of faith is all you need. An ounce. Or, rather, a mustard seed.

When the wolves bring in the darkness, stand up and stand your ground against it. What may seem small at the time will soon grow beyond. Have faith, pray, let it go. Be patient. Be a support to others in addition to yourself. It will all come together. You will see.


“The howlin’ moon would cry
I’d sleep the sun away
I was just a child
I knew I was afraid
There was nothin’ to gain, I found
By runnin’ the other way
I had to stand my ground
And keep the wolves at bay”

Walk in love, dear readers!

The Season Of Spring

It is upon us.

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Do not say it too terribly loud though. Or play the music too loud. Or dance too much. Or drink too much bubbly, even if it is Wine Wednesday (I may or may not be imbibing at this very moment). We do not want to scare it off. I do not think any of us can handle that, but I think it is safe to say we can celebrate a little and I am celebrating spring today. Remember there is always something to celebrate every day! You will know when it is time to turn the celebration up.

I almost can not believe it. It feels like just yesterday I was writing to you about the beginning of fall. The past several months have left me stunned with wind burned cheeks and windswept hair from the time speeding past me. I have entered a new season in my life apparently, but that is a story for another day. A whole other pot of thoughts to stir around.

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Anyway. Back to spring because that is what we are celebrating today.

The time has changed back. Do you know what that means?

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You think I am kidding? This is no laughing matter. Ask any horse person. Well any horse person without arena lights. This means MORE RIDING TIME. Seriously. I can actually go out to the farm after work and have time to ride! I could start jumping up and down this minute at the very thought.

The horses are starting to shed. All of them. Not just the early ones. All of them. I can see it now.

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Horse hair everywhere.

We have had the showers. For months actually, but we do not need to go on about that any more than I already have. You know what they say. Showers bring flowers.

Which brings me to…Wildflowers. They are coming out to play and things are getting green!

It is actually rainy today, but that is not raining on my parade today.

Spring, it is coming! Go smile and have some bubbly and celebrate.

Walk in love, dear readers! You made it through hump day!

 

Just Ride

Just ride.

Just another one of those speaking of which moments.


“MY LACK OF THOUGHTS YESTERDAY GOT ME THINKING ABOUT THINKING.
THINKING TOO MUCH CAN BE COUNTER PRODUCTIVE.
SOMETIMES IT IS GOOD TO CLEAR YOUR MIND OF THOUGHTS, RELAX, LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT AND JUST RIDE. IT IS AMAZING HOW MANY THINGS CAN JUST FALL INTO PLACE WHEN YOU DO THIS.”
IAN LEIGHTON

Several years ago, I was riding a young, long legged sorrel horse for a friend who did not have the time to work him. He was at the time that I started riding him, lightly started under saddle. He knew how to go, turn, and stop, mostly, and had not been ridden outside of the round pen very much. I had been riding him for a good little while and he was making some good progress on most things. Teaching him his leads was hard for him for some reason or another and keeping them from becoming an issue or a complex for him was a little bit of work. Eventually he seemed to have them figured out. Or so it would have seemed.

One particular windy day in a busy arena, he apparently forgot the whole left and right lead concept. We had all the pieces seemingly snugly in his brain, but he just could not, on that day, put them together. Or I could not. We both started to get a little flustered at the situation when my friend and owner of the horse spoke out, “Just get his hip, keep the shoulder, and ask him again. Just ride.” A voice of reason when I could not seem to find my own. It was just what we needed to pick up the correct lead. The colt powered away, unsure of whether or not he had done the correct thing and again, my friend’s voice came to me, “Just ride, sit down and just ride. Let him come back.”

Both in life and horses, you just need to ride it out sometimes.

Make a mistake? Just ride. Ask and try again.

Road get a little bumpy? Just ride till it gets smooth.

Life changing? Just ride and let it. Don’t stand in the way.

Storm on the horizon? Have faith and just ride. Storms never last.

Rain, winter, and a busy schedule keep you from riding as much as you normally do? Just look up, ride through, and remember, this too shall pass.


“When life gives a hard blow, focus on riding though. No different than when a young colt takes off. Don’t panic and stop him. Buckle down, lift, and ride through the storm with your eyes ahead. Pain and fear are always temporary before the good feelings come back. They always do no matter how broken you feel in that moment. And if you’re like me, horses usually answer many of life’s biggest questions.”
Lucia Clemetson

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Walk in love, dear readers, and just ride. Happy Friday!

Change

“After all these years I find it strange how much time it takes to keep things the same”
~Eric Middleton & Adam Hood

Have you ever thought about how much time we spend trying to keep things from changing? Really and truly thought about it? I bet it is more than you would want to admit.

As a historically more than moderate change averse person, I know I have spent quite a bit of time trying to keep things the same. I do not even realize I am doing it most of the time. I have worked hard and am admittedly still working hard (always will probably) to not stand in the way of change and worked to accept its roll in my journey.

The thing about it is, life is about change. I have heard it said, “if you are not changing, you are dying.” I think there is a lot of truth to that statement. As much as we what everything to stay the same, change is the natural progression of our lives. The world is constantly changing whether we like it or not. We can stand there and let the world pass us by, or we can walk our path here and let the chips fall where they may. The choice is ours. Have the faith to trust that it is all worked out.

Walk in love, dear readers!

Days Like Today

You know what? On days like today, I wish more than I normally do that my office chair was the back of my horse.

Any horse at this point, really, and not just because I have done such little riding lately that I am actually beginning to literally twitch involuntarily. I am sure my eyes have begun to bug out of my head and the people around me will start looking at me all funny like.


“We will sing, to our souls
We won’t bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There’s a red sea road
When we can’t, see the way
He will part the waves
And we’ll never walk alone
Down a red sea road”


Anyway. Everyone has days like this every now and then.

I am sitting here on my couch with a glass of wine on the side table next to me, a cozy blanket that was a gift to me draped over the arm of the couch, and my little laptop resting in my lap. My townhouse keeps making noises that make me wonder if I have a long lost roommate upstairs. My television intermittently plays a show I have already seen in the background.

Why intermittently you ask? Good question. I do not have an answer for you on that one. My TV and/or internet appear to be a slightly emotional beings at best and more often than not, I spend more time watching a spinning wheel than any actual entertainment. The wonders of today’s modern connectivity, I tell you.

It is no matter to me at the present moment though. I do not really have it in me to pay close attention. Today was a bit of a sour day and it put that taste right into my mouth. I sure did not like the taste so I went to a dance workout class with R and her sister after work to try and shake it all out. It did a decent enough job at that.

Nothing like this would have done, but it was the next best thing I had.

Today was a day for practicing relearning how to be like a duck in the rain, so to speak. To let that rain just bead up and fall right off you. You know how I have told you before. Yes, yes. That little life tidbit wrapped up in an AHA moment. About how manure rolls downhill. Yes, just like that. I will be firmly upright and uphill tomorrow. Maybe one of these days that lesson will stick in my own brain.


“Paths are there for us to follow, this is gospel I believe
Angels are around us flying, truth and mercy to receive
Pictures of uncommon nature, painted by a masters hand
Draw me ever on life’s journey, rendered thus to understand
As a songbird that is fallen, only to regain the sky
From this frozen shadow valley, lay my sweary head
Love is from no distance calling, faithful as the rising sun
Warms the bitter heart and heartache, till the east of Eden’s gone
Clouds of fear and misconception, wax and wane as if the moon
So is in a sense forsaken, till the will of God be known
As a songbird that is fallen, only to regain the sky
From this frozen shadow valley, lay my sweary head”
~Bob Neuwirth / Henry Burnett


I long for more daylight hours with ground that is more than just a slip ‘n slide. To have the time to thoroughly groom my horse and not be in a rush.


“The sounds of the valley seem to reach me within. It plays on my heart like an old violin. At the end of the day I just can’t wait for it to play.”
~Trinity Seely


Tomorrow is a new day. For me and for you. It will be a good one. If it is not, we will make it one and it will be better than yesterday.

Let us all be like ducks in the rain on top of the manure hill!

Walk in love, dear readers.

Happy New Year?

No, no, no. Not ‘Happy New Year?’

Happy New Year!!!!!

And Merry Christmas!!!!! Since I am pretty sure I missed saying that to you before.

Yes, all of those exclamation points are more than necessary.

I hope each one of you and yours had a very merry and blessed Christmas and New Year. May the many blessings of our Lord shower upon you. Peace, love, and joy. Go forth keeping the Christmas spirit alive all year long.

Aunt M asked me the other day if I was sick or something since I had not shared any AHAmoments in a while. No, no, not sick. Just still reeling from a busy Christmas season. I have lost count of how many naps I have taken. A little tidbit about me, I do not really take naps.

I have been spending my time watching the rain re-hydrate the mud. Trying not to get mud everywhere. Watching the horses roll in the mud. Scooping poop in the mud. Watching the horses slip while walking in the mud. Not riding enough. Losing my mind a titch. You know, normal 2018 stuff.

It rained this weekend. It rained yesterday and it is raining today.

But hey, speaking of Christmas…I did a little baking. It is one of my favorite ways to celebrate and share love with my family.

Apple Cranberry Pie with Pecan Shortbread Crust.

Chocolate Spiced Rum Cake.

Pumpkin Cheesecake Cake.

Pesto and Prosciutto Christmas Tree and Cranberry Pepper Baked Brie.

And that was just my part. We ate well to say the least. For days.

I made Lito dress up like a reindeer a few days before Christmas. I had a good laugh…or ten. Him, not so much, but he put up with it!

I will be perfectly honest, I am still laughing! He is so dang cute, even when he pouts. There is your daily dose of cute, dear readers!

Anyway, in my opinion, the best way to close out a year and ‘ring’ in the new is to watch the sunset and be in bed long before midnight. Then wake up early on January first, saddle up the best mare, and strike out down the road because that is the only dry stretch of ground for miles. So, that is exactly what I did.

“Stop taking pictures, food lady, and get in here to feed us!”

My Mamma came with on foot.

Hopefully 2019 will bring more ride time for me and my dun duo. It might just be after winter before the rain slows a little. Only the good Lord knows! And you know what? It is all good! Eventually, my riding will be back to normal. Until then, the horses are being horses. Doing what they do best. So, I am going to take this time and focus on myself. Be present.

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Here is to 2019.

‘Rise with lifted eyes’ every day. Ride more when you can. Worry less all the time. Focus on the journey and the path and allow it to create your momentum. Live in the moment and see the light and blessings around you. Do not ‘live on the surface and in between the lines.’ Go find the ‘deepest part of you’ and let your heart fight for the truth.

You are not flying alone.

Cheers, y’all!

Go walk in love, dear readers.