Early Morning

Early morning is my time. For starters, I am physically incapable of sleeping in. That whole mental alarm clock thing. To actually sleep until 7AM without waking is a luxury I do not often experience.

Waking up early is easy for me, especially when I am at the farm or am somewhere where I am going to ride. And you all know how I feel about sunrises. Rousing myself for work? Not so easy. I am still awake, just can’t seem to make myself get out of bed. 

I am sure I have told all of you this before, but when I do actually get out of bed at my usual early time, I never feel better. I get to have my time. Quiet reflection in a quiet world besides the percolation of the coffee pot, the clink of Darcy’s collar tags, and nature’s morning stirring noises. 

The first thing I do is take my pup outside. We are generally always by ourselves. No lights are on in my neighbor’s windows. It feels almost as if we have the whole place to ourselves. 


Back inside, Darcy gets a drink of water while I pour myself a mug full of coffee adorned with honey and milk. 


That is my favorite mug. It has a gingerbread man on it. It’s comforting and happy. I like happy. 

Then, I sit. Sometimes I watch the news. Well, more often not these days…too depressing and well I don’t know…sometimes I watch my latest Netflix obsession. Sometimes I read. 

Today I was going to read, but then I decided, I should write to you! So, here I am. And there you are.

Now with R being evacuated from her home and living with me while it gets repaired (thanks Harv, for doing that to my friend), our mornings are a bit more exciting. Darcy loves having someone else in the house. When R starts to stir, she shoots up the stairs with the most energetic of good mornings. If only she could speak! That usually envokes a play session and then we are off to get ready for the day. 


On this particular morning, work is on my mind. I typically am trying to think of anything but. However, my job is changing a little. 

When I was first told, I freaked out a little. Hello, change. My mind went in a whirlwind with questions. What does it mean for me and my position in the company? Am I the right person? What does it mean for compensation? How fast will this happen? I don’t want my life to be that complicated! I have responsibilities here! 

Simply and remarkably, Holy Spirit showed up in usual form. Still amazes me. Anyway, the question posed was this…why are you scared?…

I am scared? Am I? How did you know that? Fear of the unknown. Old friend. Not logical, rational, or from the Lord. AHAmoment. 

The simple fact is, while I now have this new ‘role,’ it is early days. We are feeling it out. We will figure it out along the way. We. If at any time it is not right, that is OK. It has the potential to be big. I should be excited. I get to learn something new and meet new people. I am excited. 

That is what is on my mind today. 

Let’s go make it a great Thursday. 

Walk in love, dear readers!

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Wine, Pie & Time

Time is an interesting thing.

A powerful thing. Giving things time can have impressive effects. Have you ever heard the term ‘just sleep on it’? Well, now you have if you had not before. If you just sit back and think it completely through and wait till morning, you will often get a more harmonious result from not being reactionary.

Time is also a healer. I know this is a universal thing across all cultures and most know it to be true. There are of course songs written about it. After a difficult life event, it feels like time goes at a snail’s pace. Even when you keep busy to keep your mind occupied and try to make the time go faster. Grasping at anything to get you farther from the memories. The feelings. The sadness. The hurt. The anger. You just keep going, taking one step at a time because that is all you can do.


“They say music takes you back to a time. And time is a healer of things.”

Then, it happens. Time has gone by without you realizing it and you look back and realize how far you have come. Amazed at how long ago that happened. How did it get to be years ago?

That happened to me today. Looking back, I never thought it would happen. I still think of that day two years ago often and I know I will the rest of my life. Even just a few days ago, without realizing that it has been two years. Two years does not seem like a long time to some that are removed from the situation. But it feels like so long ago. So much has happened and so much has changed in that time.

Two years ago, we had to put down our first horse. You can read about that day by clicking HERE. He was over 30 years old and we had him for over half his life. He changed my life. That day was so hard, yet so wonderful at the same time. There is such beauty present in the dichotomy of this earthly life. AHAmoment. How something so hard and difficult also presents such life, light, and love is amazing to me. Your faith and spirit are always there. AHAmoment. Something that never goes away. I feel so blessed that I was open to seeing it in that moment, at that time.

We drowned our sorrows in red wine and chocolate pie that night and listened to this song. It always reminds me of him. To this day, it is still my favorite remedy for loss and I recommend it to many.

I am grateful for time. The time I had with him. The time in the moment, even though it was so hard. The time to heal since then and the time I take to remember the memories.

There are many in my life that have lost in the past year. Lost family members or loved ones. Lost horses and dogs. Lost their homes. Tonight I think will be a wine and pie night in memory…after I run.

Walk in love, dear readers.

Soulshine

​​I forgot about this one.

I love when that happens. You find something amazing and then somehow you forget about it. That part is not so great, but then, something happens and you find it or rediscover it all over again. Twice the joy! Boom!

This song is one of those. Not even sure how I stumbled upon it either time, but I am glad I did! Soulsine performed by Gov’t Mule, written by Warren Haynes. Go get you some! Man oh man. Seriously, give this song a listen.


“When your world seems cold, you got to let your spirit take control.”

Talk about an AHAmoment.
(If the video does not show, copy and paste the link in your browser. It is not showing up for me for some reason….Really this whole interface is being goofy today.)
“When you can’t find the light
That guides you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain’t shinin’ bright
And you fill like you’ve lost you’re way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Well you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say
He used to say soul shine
It’s better than sunshine
It’s better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Hey now people don’t mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day

I grew up thinkin’ that I had it made
Gonna make it on my own
But life can take the strongest man
And make him feel so alone
Now and then I feel a cold wind
Blowin’ through my achin’ bones
I think back to what my daddy said
He said Boy, in the darkness before the dawn

Let your soul shine
It’s better than sunshine
It’s better than moonshne
Damn sure better than rain
Yeah now people don’t mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day

Sometimes a man can feel this emptiness
Like a woman has robbed him of his very soul
A woman too, God knows, she can feel like this
And when your world seems cold
You got to let your spirit take control

Let your soul shine
It’s better than sunshine
It’s better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Lord now people don’t mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day

Oh, it’s better than sunshine
It’s better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Yeah now people don’t mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day”

~WARREN HAYNES
Does not get much better than that, dear readers. What makes your soul shine?
Let your soul shine for the Lord, for you, and for those around you. Shine for those that are no longer here, those people and events that we remember and will never forget. Be a light for others, in all times, not just these difficult times. Now more than ever. Because you can and some can not. Because there are people out there protecting our rights to do so. Because there are people that have lost their lives doing just that.
Here is a snip-it of what makes my soul shine from this past weekend.

 

Walk in love this fine Monday!

Remember, it was not promised to you or any of us.

Stand Up

“Today is a new day. You will get out of it just what you put into it . . . if you make mistakes . . . there is always another chance for you . . . for this thing that we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down.”
~ Mary Pickford

Walk in love, dear readers. Make it a great one!

Social Media.

Social media has always been a really strange concept to me. A conundrum. Have I said this before?

Yes, yes, and yes I have.

It can be fun, sure. I really do like to share my photos & animals…and, uh, music, a lot of music…with other people because it brings me happiness to share the things I love and what makes me happy with others…in hopes that it does the same for them. I am sure that is a surprise to no one. And really, who doesn’t like to see cute animals?

It can be helpful. That is one of the reasons I started this blog. To share and connect. It is hard to share the difficult stories, but I do it because I know I am not alone and I am not perfect. I know that other people have experienced the same things.

But it can also be, well, bad. Really bad. Negative. Dismissive. Rude. Hateful. And let us not forget, so very fake. I can honestly say that I am constantly surprised by people’s behavior. Where does that even come from? Where does the energy to perpetuate such exhausting mentalities come from?

How has this platform replaced actual communication between our fellow man?

Something that has always bugged me is the amount of energy many people put into composing the perfect picture to post so they look a certain way…to other people. Or incredibly lengthy diatribes of hate. Do not even get me started on selfies and strange poses. I am not going to go there. I always think to myself that if people put as much energy into having good manners, being nice and positive, helping, and loving our neighbors and just being real as they did on perfecting the perfect post, how much better the world, even just the social media world, would be. Exposure to more love and light. More Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Memorial Day, Happy Veterans Day, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Ramadan, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Birthday, or whatever the holiday celebration may be. More smiling. More love. Create an intersection and not a corner.

I feel like people say Happy Halloween or Happy National Donut day more than any other holiday.

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The last few days have been interesting with the lunar eclipse and the first day of school. There were so many cool posts of people getting outside and experiencing the lunar eclipse, surprisingly with other people…together, and sweet children with happy smiles off on their first day back at school after summer. The negativity and hate seemed to stop, or at least be out weighed! If only for that quick moment.

Again, I can not help but wonder if everyone would put as much energy into good instead of bad, focusing on the positive and not the negative, being honest and real, visceral and empathetic, vulnerable, how much better off we would all be. How much more connected we would be, realizing that we are not that different from each other and we all have struggles.

Stir that around in your pot of thoughts. Each one of us makes a difference.

I can see how this may sound trite, but it is not only important, it is true.

Walk in love, my dear readers, and be a light today! Happy Wednesday!

One Year, A Toast.

Well, would you look at that.

I have been blogging for a whole year. Crazy how fast that went. It sure feels like yesterday that I published my first post.

I was just curious at first. And then. Before I knew it. I had clicked around and created a blog. OK, not quite that simple, but that is basically what happened.

Thank you, dear readers, for mustering up your mustard seeds and, not only checking this little blog out, but for also following along.

Here is to you.

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You didn’t think you would get off that easy, did you. A song. For you.

I am good like that.

Not quite describing our relationship, but ya…It is still a good song.

I spent the last two days at a conference for work. The reason for my silence. I did not have sneak attack coffee this time! There was a man yesterday who did. Also on a white shirt. I smiled at him with a knowing look and told him I did the same thing six months ago here and to just use his name tag to cover it. I also had to do a big presentation there on Wednesday that went pretty well. I should say I GOT to do a big presentation. We had a few people that came by our booth because of my presentation! So, we will see what happens.

I hope y’all have a happy Friday and a good end to the work week!

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Get out there and do what makes your heart happy this weekend. You know what I will be doing. Going to the farm with my Darcy girl to see my ponies.

Walk in love, dear readers!

 

Simple Happiness.

I was talking with a couple friends yesterday over the email, all within the same conversation about people and wardrobes. I love email conversations during the day. Makes it more exciting and entertaining. It also means I get to keep up with people I don’t get to see all that often. Makes it feel like we live closer together.

Anyway, we were discussing our trail ride vacation coming up this fall and H said something about how animals, horses specifically in this instance, are simple and that it doesn’t take much to make them happy.

No. No it does not. AHAmoment right there. A lesson for all of us hidden (not very well hidden!) in there for sure.

Truer words have never been spoken.

What does it take to make you happy?

Every day I look at how happy my dog is at all times and what it is that makes her so. Not stuff. Her life is compiled of moments and experiences, always positive, always present. She is fed. She is healthy. She gets to be outside. She gets to run and play. I would like to think that I am part of that. That is IT.

Same with the horses.

Horses do such a great job of bringing us down a peg, in many ways. When Lito had his tendon episode, I got so wrapped up in the worry and getting the next exercise done, that I was forgetting to enjoy my time with him. When the realization hit me, it was like a ton of bricks and I could see it written all over him. He was not experiencing joy either. I was at a loss until Lito gave me an idea. Hand grazing. Hello. How could I not think of this? It is one of my favorite things to do. I was so focused on what was next and not the right now, I couldn’t even see it. I vowed right then and there to hand graze him both before and after our rides in addition to a longer grooming session. Words can not express the difference this had not only on his demeanor, but my experience as well. Something as simple as that can have exponential effects. I swear it made the birds sing. No, just kidding. They were already singing, I just heard them again.

 


People can get so wrapped up in the next thing, always looking to the future (hello, my favorite hobby. So much energy in something I don’t know) and what is the next thing that will make us happy or get us something or get us to the next step. Not focusing on seeing the positive and being happy now. In the moment, which all together make up a life. And look. We all know I struggle with this as much or more as the next person. Especially lately it seems. But. Just like a bad ride doesn’t make the next, a few bad days or a tough season of life, doesn’t make a life. It is setting us up and getting us ready for the next, whatever it is, whenever it is.

I always want to try and look at life the same way Darcy and my horses do. Keep it simple. Be present and in the moment. Create experiences. Not be driven by things. See the beauty and joy I am surrounded with every day, created by Him. Seeking it. See the grass that grows after the rain. Blooming flowers. The wind. The smell of the rain. Sunrises and sunsets. New life. Happy, healthy animals that give their all to me. Great family and friends. I am fed and healthy. I get to do what I love. I am free and I am loved. What more could I possibly ask for? Who am I? Who are we?!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Keep it simple!

Happy Day

Happy day, dear readers! Happy hump day!

One must read that with a certain determination for cheeryness. Yes that is a word. Because I say so.

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Today is a bit of a post vacation fog. Today. Who am I kidding. All week I have been this way. Foggy, foggy brain. I was finally able to wake up at my normal time, but I am downing two mugs of coffee like they are going to be my last with little effect. I mean. It is not like I traveled to a different country or anything. Just to Colorado. One time zone over.

I am powering through though. That is all one can do, right?! Power through and make it happy. It is a choice! AHAmoment. Make it a happy day. Ride on and add more leg, as it were. Keep casting. Keep knocking. Whatever analogy you want!

Praying for rain over here and waiting for Friday. Riding and chores at the farm in the rain sounds pretty good to break the heat. Bring it on.

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I have been doing a lot of watering since my return.

If the rain holds off (please don’t), I might haul to ride with a friend. We shall see!

I do get to see my ponies today after work! A nice mid week respite, however quick. Farrier is coming tomorrow and I need to get all the horses up for him.

That is about as exciting as a Wednesday can get.

Settle down now! I know you are jealous.

Walk in love, dear readers! Do something fun for yourself today.

The Path Of Least Resistance

The sun is fierce this morning, y’all. It feels like it is going to be a hot one. But. I am not here to talk about the weather. Even if it might be easier to do.

My creative juices have not been flowing forth as of late if you have not been able to tell. In a funk, if you will. Again. Or still. It is what it is, but I do not have to like it.

It is also scary. Being vulnerable. This whole blog thing. Making it public…what was I thinking!? Woof.

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Someone once said I was brave for starting this blog and sharing my story. I do not feel very brave lately.

I meant to post this last night, but then I got self conscious about it and conveniently ran out of time. What about the other days since I last posted? Shh. I do not know.

I am just going to say it. Part of this funk leaves me feeling alone. There, I said it. It is true. There is more to it than that, like vocation, desires, future, faithfully waiting that all plays its roll in the bigger picture of the feeling. Blah, blah, blah.

But here is the thing.

There are times when I think it might be easier to not be me. Did a bomb just go off? Very brief, short times, but still very present. Easier to change what might be different about me and be like ‘everyone else.’ Be more accepted. Whatever all that means.

I might fit in more. Who cares? Did I ever care about that? I am not sure I really do.

Have more friends. Do I need more friends? I have never been one to have a huge group. Just my close, small group.

Maybe not be single? Eh. I would rather not be in a relationship than be in one where I could not be myself.

That I wouldn’t feel lost in this way. Is lost a strong word for this? I am not sure. No stronger than alone, I guess. No one else seems to be going through this. They are all out living their lives. Aren’t they? Is that not what the book of face and insta prove? Ha! I do not believe any of that for a second.

Not stuck in my head of circular thoughts, unable to still.

I have no way of knowing any of that, but I do not believe it would be easier. Indeed it would be harder. I tried not to be someone I wasn’t once. It was terrible. It was in middle school. It sounds silly, I know, but it is true.

I had a very clear feeling that I was not like everyone else. I was too different. I was outside of the box. I felt like a round peg in a square hole. I liked different things, like going to the farm to ride. I did not care to break rules or do things we were not supposed to do. I was quiet. I related more to older people than kids my own age. I did not care to wear makeup or do my hair or wear nice clothes, much to my mother’s chagrin. I felt lost and I did not know why.

I told myself I was going to change. Be more square. Not talk about horses as much. Talk more. Make more friends. Look like someone I wasn’t. I do not know how long this lasted, but I do not think very long. I felt more lost than ever before. Like a stranger in my own skin. I suppose I made more ‘friends,’ but there were not real. I went back to being me because that was the only thing that felt right. It was easy and not hard.

I have been rather. Um. Restless as of late. Desiring a change and not knowing much more than that. Feeling an outside need for change, greater than my own desire. A greater and grander plan. I can’t see the path yet. I guess that is what seasons of waiting are to feel like. I do not know what it looks like or feels like. I am doing my best to seek Him and be faithful in my waiting. To grow and learn what He needs me to. To see and feel Him seeking me. To pray. Keeping knocking.


“Believe me, the choice that does not involve Him always ends up in a bad and downright disappointing place. It ends up in failure because it’s not the path we are meant to be on. It’s not the truth. Seek Him and you will find the truth.”
~Cory Morrow

Desiring a change in life, or rather, feeling the imminent change (and not knowing what it is) is different than changing who you are. Not being you. AHAmoment.

You were made a certain way for a reason. Divinely and uniquely made. Tailor-made. For a purpose. He has a plan and a path for that plan. The road and the gate are narrow, yet easy to follow when you keep your focus on him. We like to make things complicated and difficult. Keep it simple. His path is the path of least resistance.

Anyone still there??? Does any of this make sense? No?

Be yourself. Do not change what makes you, you.

Walk in love, dear readers.

Texas.

I do not like to talk about politics and I am certainly not going to do that here. That is not what this is for. Do not you worry.

I will say this. I am proud.

Proud to be a Texan.

Proud to be an American.



I can not speak for people from other states or countries, but Texans seem to be born proud. It is in our blood and we take it pretty seriously. You do not have to be born here to get it in your blood either, but I have also come across some people in my life that just do not quite seem to understand it.

Sometimes, I can’t quite explain it either. It is somewhat of a mystical thing and has a sort of magnetic pull, something that just wells up inside and grows throughout your life. It is certainly a special place. A place unlike any other. Not the South. Not the West. Uniquely its own. Naturally there are songs written about it. You did not think I would skip that, did you? We will get to that in a minute. 

The 4th of July always makes me reflect on this. I feel blessed and grateful to live in this country. To do the things I love to do. To be my independent self. To be able to see the light every day. Prouder still, to be a Texan. It is part of who I am. So. This weekend I celebrated with my family doing what I love because I can. I am free to do so. That is what being an American and being a Texan means to me.

I went to the country. I had quality time with my family. I rode my horses by myself. 





I rode my best mare with my Nephew behind me, holding on, while my sister rode Ike with my Niece wrapped in her arms in front of her. One in front of the other and side by side. I baked. 

We ate. We drank. We splashed in the baby pool in the yard. We played with dogs. I went fishing with BIL B, his brother, and my Nephew. Which, by the way, is my second most favorite thing to do next to riding. I not only fished, but I caught. I even got to fish with my rod that BIL B made for me because he brought it just in case I wanted to go with them. 








I napped. I read. I lost count of how many times we watched Tangled and Frozen during the heat of the day.

People, it would seem, are so terribly divided as of late. I wonder where the pride went. Are they not grateful to be able to see the light everyday? To be able to do what they love? Is it not part of who they are? Where is the love? Love of country? Love of people? Love of themselves? Why focus on the hate when you have a choice? 

Focus on the light and love. It is a choice.

Spread the love by walking in love, dear readers. Lead with love!

 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y1UfLik6Tuw