When It Rains

This world has a lot of sayings, many that are often misunderstood. Have you ever heard the one about when it rains?

Something about it pouring?

Ya. I have heard that too. When it rains, it pours. A lot actually. I even use the phrase myself, lightly and in passing, never really giving it much thought. It has a whole new meaning to me now.

It truly is a shame that sometimes, as in right now, my life can not be like a music video. At least there would be some laughing matter.

Yes indeed, something quite like this. This looks lovely, would not you say? Kinda funny.

However, in my particular case these days, when it rains…..

It pours…

Screen-Shot-2017-08-04-at-12.42.57-796x427

Sorry, I am not really sorry. I do not know how to even say it without trying to make light while my heart is in my throat choking me.

This is my reality. Part of the ‘whole lotta life‘ I have been living. A curve ball so far out of left field, it came from the right, just as the fast ball barreled through the heart of home plate.

I can’t believe I am having to write this. Never did I ever think in a million years this would happen.

I have some not so good news to share. The worst possible kind.

The silent kind.

My Darcy has been diagnosed with cancer.

giphy.gif

What the literal heck fire on God’s green earth?!

My sweet and innocent Darcy girl. Not even six years old.

It is quite advanced and pervasive. Between ultrasound and test results, her current status and lack of appetite, my own research, and separate vet opinions, there is not a viable treatment option.

I am completely gutted. It has taken us by storm, the likes of which I have never before known. Not like a slow creeping hurricane. It feels more than rude and unfair. Human life is hard enough on its own without making the animal lives hard.

I could go on in this manner, and admittedly I have had those moments (completely broke down while driving and again on a restaurant patio with my mom), but we must be strong and positive for her. View the world and live life the way she does. Give her the best of the best. Keep playing. We have not struck out in the game of life.

So.

We celebrate the life we have, every day, and take each day as it comes. I am going to do everything I can to give her the best quality of life possible until it is her time. She can eat whatever she wants to eat, healthy diet out the window. She is going to go with me everywhere possible. We are going to have as much farm time as I can manage. We find a reason (and there are many) to sing a song through it all.

All the prayers, positive thoughts and vibes would be greatly appreciated by us both.

I do not understand this and I do not think I ever will.

Such a happy dog that brings endless joy to every being she encounters. So much greatness must be shared. Her spirit must have a greater calling.

If you have any tried and true proven ways to keep a dog eating, lay them on me. I need more tricks up my sleeve.

There is a life lesson somewhere in here. I am just working on unpacking it.

Walk in love, dear readers, even when it is dang hard. I am taking my time.

 

 

Afraid

Do not be afraid. Fear, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant, is no way to solve a problem or live a life.

Know what is in your heart and have faith. Stand your ground against the dark and fight for what you know is true. Pray about it and then let it go.

It is not about how much faith or having enough faith. Faith alone. Period. A drop of faith is all you need. An ounce. Or, rather, a mustard seed.

When the wolves bring in the darkness, stand up and stand your ground against it. What may seem small at the time will soon grow beyond. Have faith, pray, let it go. Be patient. Be a support to others in addition to yourself. It will all come together. You will see.


“The howlin’ moon would cry
I’d sleep the sun away
I was just a child
I knew I was afraid
There was nothin’ to gain, I found
By runnin’ the other way
I had to stand my ground
And keep the wolves at bay”

Walk in love, dear readers!

Fear

Fear creates a hole in your heart. In your soul. AHA moment. What am I afraid of? I am afraid of the unknown. Of not being ‘successful.’ Of disappointing my parents. That I am doing the wrong thing. That on the outside, it looks like I do not have it all together. That I will spend my life alone. That I will wake up one day and have regrets. That there will be a time in my life where riding does not fit in.

This is extremely hard for me to admit. I have spent my life, I think mostly unknowingly, trying to convince everyone that I can do anything and everything on my own without help from anyone. Where does that come from? Not the Lord, I can tell you. I can not do it on my own and it is utterly apparent to me now. No one is immune to this. Fears are not conquered alone, no matter how hard you try.

What are you afraid of?

Thanks to Paul Overstreet – Topic on YouTube for the vid.

I am thankful for everything that He does with me, for me, and through me. I know that I am never alone because He is always there, helping me walk my path. I can conquer anything with Him.

Walk in love, dear readers.