Even Still

Even still I can not keep myself from being mesmerized by the rain.

The blessing is in the ‘even still.’ That is the AHA moment.

We have had so much rain as of late, but without a doubt every time it rains I find myself gazing out the window (if I can not get outside), swearing I can feel the moisture and smell the world outside. When the thunder rolls, I get a familiar warm feeling inside and I can literally feel myself smile, from the inside out. I can feel the power in it all, no matter how small the sprinkle of rain. How small I am and how grand the world is.

No matter what else is going on. All worries seem to wash away with the falling rain. It is taking that little moment to stop and clear your mind of everything but the sound and imagined feel of the rain. The moment will end itself and you can turn back around like new. Right as the rain. I had one of those moments today while at work in my office.

It is no secret to longer time readers that I have a thing for storms, despite all the apparent complaining I have been doing as of late about the rain.


Petrichor. Defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as “a pleasant, distinctive smell frequently accompanying the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather in certain regions” or as “the earthy scent produced when rain falls on dry soil.

That smell. That rain smell really is something. Even rain on wet ground still has a distinct smell, just different than that of rain on dry ground. So strong and familiar. Paining memories and feelings in your soul that last.

Interestingly enough, I was talking with my Mamma on the phone earlier about the appreciation you have for things you do not get to see or experience all the time. How you might not get those same feelings you did if you had access to them all the time.

I think I do not agree with that. Maybe it is just my personality, but I think I would still feel the same. I have many ‘even still’ moments.

Even still, I am stopped dead in my tracks, utterly captivated, by every sunset and sunrise I am blessed to see. The uniqueness. The colors. The shapes. The dichotomy of the movement coupled with the blatant stillness. That they are there every single day for every living being on this earth whether or not you can see them.

Even still, all it takes is a minute with my animals for the world to feel right and peaceful. For me to feel and see light. Remember what IT is all about. It is amazing to me. Amazing grace. To see my Darcy dog smile at me and be her weird, unabashed self. To sit atop either of my dun horses and feel their breathing. Their strength of gentleness. Their trust and willingness. Their innocence and teachings. To know and feel that they are a blessing I am supposed to have.

 

Hippie dippie? Maybe. I will go get my Birkenstocks to wear with my wool socks. All kidding aside, these things I could never tire of, no matter how much I get of them. This I do not think is a surprise to most people that know me.

Tell me your ‘even still’ moments?

Walk in love, dear readers!

In other news, Lito and I ran into the trailer together on Sunday. All brave and confident. He turned his head to look at me and his expression all but said in plain English, “See, I can do this again, can we go somewhere and do something new?”

 

 

A Year Later

A year later and I still have no words to describe it. Not the feelings I have. Certainly not the feelings of my family.

Even now as I type these words, it feels so utterly strange. Uncharted territory, even as the first year is up. Different from a year ago, and yet, the same. I am not sure if anyone else in this situation has felt this way. I suppose each is different.

Yesterday I was aimlessly scrolling through Facebook and I wondered to myself, why am I doing this? Something so simple and mindless and downright meaningless? I had that EXACT same thought and feeling a year ago today after I heard the news.

Honestly, I did not want to write this post today and I have been dreading it. I do not want to relive it and do not want certain readers to relive it. It is too close. I did not want to offend or hurt anyone. To dishonor him.

Then it occurred to me that I, or we, do not need a blog post to relive it. It happens all the time. Thankfully, a little less as time goes on. Time heals, little by little. It becomes apparent when you look back. That I know for sure.

I need to write this post. For me. For my family. And for you. For anyone that has ever lost anyone. For him. To celebrate him and his life and his loved ones. The survivors because that is what we are. My Uncle was a beautiful and faithful man. Which makes it even harder at times. I suspect we will never know the answer to why in this earthly life. As is the way with many things we go through. There are no answers.

The only way I know how to honor him is to celebrate this life that I am blessed to have. That I am here to witness the Lord’s beauty around me. To LIVE every minute and celebrate every moment like it is my last. Do what makes my heart smile. Seek the Lord and allow His will to be done through me. To be a blessing to those around me. That is what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.

So, that is what I am trying to do and what I try to encourage others to do.

I still pray for us to lean into our Lord in these hard times. To grow together. To grow in our faith together. As a family. It is hard and will continue to be. But we have to. We have to for ourselves and for the next generation.

I hope I have not lost you. For those of you that were not here or do not know the story and would like to, I have linked my writings of the series of events from a year ago below. In sharing these posts again, my only hope is to reach those that need to hear these words. For them to know they are not alone and that there are people that have been through this. That know how they feel. That there is still beauty and light all around us.

How Do I Title This: November 22, 2016

Thanksgiving Eve: November 23, 2016

A Prayer You Can Borrow: November 27, 2016

Today: November 28, 2016

The Aftermath: November 30, 2016

This weekend, while sitting by the fire with a cocktail in my hand and my dog at my feet, I put this string of songs together that got me thinking.

I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks to Middle Sister, K for sharing this last one with me. Pass it on.

That is all for now.

Reflections on a great clinic coming up soon!

Walk in love, dear readers.

Please pass along to anyone that needs or wants to read.

Chasing

4 AM is about as pleasant of a time to wake up as any, right??? Right!

It would have been better to wake up that early to ride or go fishing or something as opposed to catching a flight for work. Darcy sure did not understand why we were getting up so early two days in a row or why she was then supposed to go back to sleep or why she was not going with me. I did not understand that either because how much better would work and meetings and traveling be with your dog!? But, I digress.

Monday and Tuesday were quite the days.

Two meetings, two cities, two states, three pat downs, four flights, and eight…count them all…eight Uber rides in just two days. That is a lot of travel miles and hours. I am getting tired again just thinking about it.

Yesterday had me chasing the sunset so hard that I was literally running away from the sunrise.

But, no matter how fast or how far you run, the sun will always catch up with you. AHA moment.

Might as well slow down and enjoy it, right? See and actually take in all of that which is around you.

Over the past two days I saw many things. I saw joy and unity in some because of the fine sport of baseball. I heard a girl wonder aloud to her mother if her father loved her or not. How he must love her because he bought her things. The mother did not have much to say. I got told by an Uber driver that I should have a husband. I met a nice stranger and had a lovely conversation. He reminded me of someone back home. I traveled safely.

So, yesterday morning I enjoyed my slow and delayed sunrise while flying west (well, northwest to be specific, but you get the idea) and thanked the Lord for my many blessings.


I never did see the sun actually come up!

We made our decent and landed in this lovely, cloudy scene…


Anyway, as you can imagine, I was ready for this when I was on my way home yesterday.


That and the sunrise back in Texas.

Speaking of sunrise…It is somehow the end of Wednesday. Crazy.

Trust me, this is a speaking of which.

This past weekend we had two stunning, chilly (like frost chilly!) sunrises. I spent time basking in the sun. Took many, many photos…as you will soon see. Had the first pit fires of the season. Tackled a few things on the chore list. I rode both of my getting-fuzzier-by-the-day dun horses bareback. Just relaxing, quality time rides. Focusing on nothing really in particular. Just enjoying. Feeling their warmth. A nice change of pace from being constantly on the move before our trip.

A little video with Friday’s pit fire, Lito’s Saturday ride, and Saturday’s pit fire. Make sure you have the volume up! Basically sums up the weekend. ​

 

 


Saturday sunrise.


You can always catch this guy taking a nap after breakfast. I get lucky when he is not in his dam’s stall.


Saturday’s sunset.

Sunday sunrise reflection on the western sky. The steam rising off the pond while the cows have their first big graze of the day.


I can have a second breakfast, right?


Snug as a bug in his rug.


Sunday sunrise.


Feeding the cows Sunday morning in the golden light and frosty air.

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More basking in the sun! Nothing like the sun on your back on a chilly morning.

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Back to real riding work this weekend!

What is going on in your world? What have you seen and taken in around you this week?

I hope each and every one of you are having a fine week so far!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Pot Of Thoughts

Here is one for your pot of thoughts…

Continue in His blessings that He will be a blessing to others through you. 

Stir that around for a bit. 


That is the face of restricted, solitary turnout. Poor guy. Part of me doesn’t feel all that bad for him since it was likely his rambunctious behavior that landed him here. 

OK fine. I do feel terribly for him. 

Despite some early drama, this situation is working out so far. Fingers crossed. How many days are left?

I left the farm at 6 this morning to get to work on time. Well, moderately on time. For some reason, rain makes many people forget how to drive. What normally takes an hour took one and a half. 

And I found a bug in my coffee. I had to chuckle at that one. Better than hay and horse dirt! Bugs are easier to get out or work around. 

Did I just say that? 

Walk in love, dear readers! 

Wardrobe

As it happens, I was listening to music, like I do, and it got me thinking. Yes, like I do.

It was a Jason Boland & The Stragglers song entitled, “See You When I See You.”

My mother always says that the people in your life are like a Wardrobe. Yes, like a wardrobe (My mother is full of little tidbits like that). It is of a certain size that can only hold so much. There are some people that are in your life for only a season. There are some that are in your life for a few seasons or several years. Then there are some that are, as they say, timeless, that are in your life for the long haul. For the rest of your life.

Have you ever noticed that?

It used to upset me when I was not on the same level of friendship with someone as I once was for no real reason other than life just happened. It made me feel like a bad friend. Like I did something wrong or that it was my fault. My mother would always remind me of the wardrobe analogy. To be honest, it still at times will put me in a slightly melancholic mood.

Here is the thing though. Life just happens, as it should. Even when you may think it is not or you are doing whatever you can to keep it from happening. Each person is on their own path and every single person that comes into your life is a blessing. They are there for a reason.

I am beyond grateful for all the people that used to be in my life, the people that are in my life, and for all the people yet to be in my life. You are all a blessing to me. You are part of what makes me who I am and part of what makes my life, my life. Thank you for everything you have taught me or given me. Thank you for making my life richer, bolder, and full of color. Thank you for the smiles and laughs. Thank you for being there and being you.

I hope I did the same for you.


“Oh, but seasons come for moving
Forces greater than ourselves
But there’s nothing we are losing
Keep it right there on the shelf
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be away back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend”

“They say that we all need companions
And how nobody goes alone
Over mountains and through canyons
From the poor house to the throne

Oh, but time is quite a driver
It lays a whip unto the team
It pulls apart the fibers
‘Til its time we split the seam

I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be a way back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend

Oh, we watched the sun set on us
And then come back up without rest
We spoke of things in honest
All we needed to confess

Oh, but seasons come for moving
Forces greater than ourselves
But there’s nothing we are losing
Keep it right there on the shelf

I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be a way back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend

Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend

I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend”
~Jason Boland & The Stragglers

I hope you enjoyed the song.

This Wednesday went by extremely fast. I looked at the clock and it was 9 AM. Before I knew it, it was time to go home! Here is to the rest of the week going by just as quickly, so I can get out of the city!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Tuesday Toodles

Spring has officially arrived! The sun is warm. Horses and dogs are loosing their winter coats. Everything is yellow, including the nastys I have been coughing up in the morning...er…The pollen is exploding on the trees. The air is soft, both in feel and temperature. Besides the nastys, it is glorious.

I have decided on a schooling show to work towards at the end of April, have submitted payment for a working equitation clinic in June, and am going to audit a Charlotte Dujardin Through The Levels Masterclass in November. I am really excited about these! Making good on my 2017 goals! Just need to make lessons a priority now.

I am a little under the weather because of these allergies (seriously, these never used to be a thing for me, ugh)…and possibly, maybe, because I have been staying out too late, but oh well, you only live once.

I am house and dog sitting for the rest of this week. All the dogs are played out and enjoying basking in the sun. This past Sunday (how is it already Tuesday??!), I loaded everyone up and headed out to the farm for the day.

The day started out extremely foggy. Quite literally in a cloud. Once at the farm, I decided to wait out the fog before riding and convinced my mom to come on a walk with me and the dogs after I fed the horses. As per usual, my Darcy girl had a grand time doing her thing and running circles around the other two. These city dogs though! They had the best time being dogs! Their coats were sopping from the dew and covered in pollen within a few minutes.


We walked down to the pond first where they waded in to prime their coats to get really good and dirty. Deciding it was best to avoid the cows with the newbies, we turned around to walk back up to the front gate and back again. With all the rain we have had, there was a big muddy hog wallow by a group of live oaks. You an probably guess where this is going, but I will tell you anyway. They all promptly got in and laid down with the biggest panting grins on their faces. After a good chuckle, we called them out and continued back to the house. A good run through the tall, wet grass got all their coats moderately clean. They were so dang happy. There is nothing like a happy, dirty, and tired dog. Except maybe three of them! Impossible to smile.


I put them all in the kennel and went to grab Lito for a ride. Darcy is always with me when I ride, but I put her up with the other two to make sure the others would stay safe. A quick groom session and I had Lito tacked and ready to go.

I have stopped counting his rides, but we are somewhere in the neighborhood of 15. He continues to amaze me with his incredible mind. In an ideal world, I would be riding him around 3 times a week. I have still only been able to ride him every two weeks or so. I was worried that it would be a problem and I would have to bring him somewhere closer to town so I could ride him more. It is not only not a problem, but he continues to get better. I might still have to do that somewhere down line, but for now it is working.

We did a little arena work and then went down to the cow pasture with my mom (she is the best) to have a little trot and then back up to the front gate. I am so proud of him. We are pretty consistently forward and have pretty good rhythm. He is continually reminding me, since he was born, to be relaxed and open. He is so sensitive and responsive in a very good way. If I remember to think and ask first, I almost do not even have to do anything. He is such a blessing.

After lunch I spent the rest of my time there helping the horses shed some winter hair before heading back to town. Now is it the end of Tuesday and work is work and it is busy. Most everyone was out of the office last week, so it is back to the normal hustle. Which is not really normal, incidentally.

That is all for now. Super exciting stuff, I know. Please, try to contain yourself over there. This week is going by so fast, hence the lack of posts! Sorry about that!

Walk in love, dear readers!