The Path Of Least Resistance

The sun is fierce this morning, y’all. It feels like it is going to be a hot one. But. I am not here to talk about the weather. Even if it might be easier to do.

My creative juices have not been flowing forth as of late if you have not been able to tell. In a funk, if you will. Again. Or still. It is what it is, but I do not have to like it.

It is also scary. Being vulnerable. This whole blog thing. Making it public…what was I thinking!? Woof.

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Someone once said I was brave for starting this blog and sharing my story. I do not feel very brave lately.

I meant to post this last night, but then I got self conscious about it and conveniently ran out of time. What about the other days since I last posted? Shh. I do not know.

I am just going to say it. Part of this funk leaves me feeling alone. There, I said it. It is true. There is more to it than that, like vocation, desires, future, faithfully waiting that all plays its roll in the bigger picture of the feeling. Blah, blah, blah.

But here is the thing.

There are times when I think it might be easier to not be me. Did a bomb just go off? Very brief, short times, but still very present. Easier to change what might be different about me and be like ‘everyone else.’ Be more accepted. Whatever all that means.

I might fit in more. Who cares? Did I ever care about that? I am not sure I really do.

Have more friends. Do I need more friends? I have never been one to have a huge group. Just my close, small group.

Maybe not be single? Eh. I would rather not be in a relationship than be in one where I could not be myself.

That I wouldn’t feel lost in this way. Is lost a strong word for this? I am not sure. No stronger than alone, I guess. No one else seems to be going through this. They are all out living their lives. Aren’t they? Is that not what the book of face and insta prove? Ha! I do not believe any of that for a second.

Not stuck in my head of circular thoughts, unable to still?

I have no way of knowing any of that, but I do not believe it would be easier. Indeed it would be harder. I tried to be someone I wasn’t once. It was terrible. It was in middle school. It sounds silly and trivial, I know, but it is true.

I had a very clear feeling that I was not like everyone else. I was too different. I was outside of the box. I felt like a round peg in a square hole. I liked different things, like going to the farm to ride. I did not care to break rules or do things we were not supposed to do. I was quiet. I related more to older people than kids my own age. I did not care to wear makeup or do my hair or wear nice clothes, much to my mother’s chagrin. I felt lost and I did not know why.

I told myself I was going to change. Be more square. Not talk about horses as much. Talk more. Make more friends. Look like someone I wasn’t. I do not know how long this lasted, but I do not think very long. I felt more lost than ever before. Like a stranger in my own skin. I suppose I made more ‘friends,’ but there were not real. I went back to being me because that was the only thing that felt right. It was easy and not hard.

I have been rather. Um. Restless as of late. Desiring a change and not knowing much more than that. Feeling an outside need for change, greater than my own desire. A greater and grander plan. I can’t see the path yet. I guess that is what seasons of waiting are to feel like. I do not know what it looks like or feels like. I am doing my best to seek Him and be faithful in my waiting. To grow and learn what He needs me to. To see and feel Him seeking me. To pray. Keeping knocking.


“Believe me, the choice that does not involve Him always ends up in a bad and downright disappointing place. It ends up in failure because it’s not the path we are meant to be on. It’s not the truth. Seek Him and you will find the truth.”
~Cory Morrow

Desiring a change in life, or rather, feeling the imminent change (and not knowing what it is) is different than changing who you are. Not being you. AHAmoment.

You were made a certain way for a reason. Divinely and uniquely made. Tailor-made. For a purpose. He has a plan and a path for that plan. The road and the gate are narrow, yet easy to follow when you keep your focus on Him. We like to make things complicated and difficult. Instead, keep it simple. His path is the path of least resistance.

Anyone still there??? Does any of this make sense? No?

Be yourself. Do not change what makes you, you.

Walk in love, dear readers.

Monday…

…just like any other Monday?

Wrong. It is one that was not promised. I bet that changed your Monday blues.

Make the most of it, dear readers, and make it a great one.

Dare I say, make it a marvelous Monday!

Shine your light and spread the love! Get all hippie-dippie. Go on. You know you want to.

I had a lovely, restorative weekend at the farm (I even took a nap! Gasp, I know), capped by an amazing dinner with family last night. Seriously, that meal. Fresh caught red fish on the half shell topped with hollandaise and fresh crab meat served with green chili rice and green beans. We ate like kings. However, the meal was nothing compared to quality time spent with my niece and nephew. Love those little people!







I hope everyone had a great weekend and is getting their week off to a great start.

I for one am glad to be back in the swing. Bring it on! I have missed y’all!

Enjoy this piece by Ben Haggard.

What did you do this weekend?

Walk in love.

Bloggers Recognition Award

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WHAT?!

Well. I am blown away to be nominated for a Blogger Recognition Award! I do not quite know what to say. I was nominated by my new blogging friend, Anne Leueen. Have a click around over on her site. I know you will not be disappointed. She writes of many things and shares the same great love and passion for the horse. I truly appreciate her support and am honored to offer her the same. While you are over there, wish her luck in her winter show season down in Florida. I know she is enjoying the warm weather.

The rules for accepting this award as follows.

  1. Give thanks to the person who had nominated you and a link to their blog.
  2. Write a post to show your award.
  3. Briefly tell how you started blogging.
  4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award.
  6. Comment on the nominated blogs and let them know you have nominated them and give a link to the post you have created.

How did I start blogging.

Funny you should ask. I wrote a post aptly titled, ‘Why This Blog,’ about this very topic when I started this blog a short five months ago on somewhat of a whim one evening. I thought it was important at the time to give more than just a background on myself, but a background on the blog itself that spoke to more than just topics of interest. I feel the same way about it today. It is more than my random musings, and man, I sure can be random at times! It is more than my love for the horse and what my ride was like. It is more than what I am listening to. It is about life and living it. What we can learn. Being a part of a community. Being supportive of each other. None of us are alone in our walk. Suffice it to say that we are all wonderfully unique and have something in common. The point is, whether it is inspiration, comfort, distraction, hope, or humor, it is my hope that everyone finds something useful here on this little blog of mine. Horse stories are involved. Great music is involved. Food is sometimes involved. My AHA moments about life and what it is really about is most definitely involved. Join me. I am not turning back!

 

Two pieces of advice for new bloggers.

  1.  Being new to this I am not all that sure I am qualified to offer all that great of advice. However, based on my limited experience, write what is on your heart and feeds your flame. Be honest and true to yourself. It will come through and will relate to people.
  2.  Do not be a formula. I went against advice I was given here from several people and publications. I was told that I should have a narrower focus, I was being too broad. Maybe that is true. I tried to post about the same things on certain days and at the same time, but it just did not feel right. It felt forced when I did that. I write whatever comes at whatever time. It all happens for a reason and we are not formulas.

I nominate the following bloggers, in no particular order, for the award.

Some of the blogs I would nominate have already been nominated and there are MANY others that I enjoy reading as well. I am having a hard time putting together this list. I am having a major blank for some reason and will have to come back and finish this part later. I will think on it for a few days and get back with you.

Thank you so much, again, Anne!

Have a great Friday and walk in love, dear readers.