I am going to get a little serious today. I try to keep things real over here for the both of us. Well, because that is life, isn’t it? And this is something that has been on my mind. There are too many people out there these days that try to paint an altered image of who they are instead of just being themselves and being honest.

This is me and this is my life.

I need a restart. A reset. A refocus.

It is no secret that I have been in a little bit of a funk these days and desiring more or  different from or out of my life. Questioning if I should continue this path and stay the course or to venture on a new one. The form of that change is something I am still trying to work out. I am, quite literally, at a crossroads. Part of me says, “get over yourself, just do it. Do something,” while the other part of me says, “you’re not ready yet. You need to work through this first.”

Even as I have typed all of this, I want to delete because it is still scary to think about and say out loud. Even if I have said it before.

But that is not the point. The point is, I am harboring all of this inside, working that circular thought process over, and not focusing on what is important. Not focusing on the Lord and giving it up to Him. Trying to do it by myself for myself. It is leaving me clouded and bringing me down. I am having a hard time seeing the light and it is more than just because of the weather. It is weighing me down.

I need to remember He has the plan and He is building me up for something. I need to reset and put my full focus on Him. My heart and my head. He knows the way. AHA moment.

I have talked about Soulshine with you before. Not that long ago. What I said then is a good reminder for today.

I have been thinking this morning about faking it till you make it because I am tired of feeling this way and looking this way. So that will be me. Faking it till I make it till I figure it out. Adding more leg and pushing through.

Are you tired of talking about this yet? I am. I feel like I have said this multiple times and I know the reel has not stopped.

Luckily daylight savings time is right around the corner and that means more riding. I need more riding. Too bad it is not this weekend. It would be nice to get more rides in before the clinic I am riding in next weekend, but any riding I am grateful for with this weather. I do not think I have ever ridden so little in my life. Which does not help anything!

Any of you have any life changing stories for me?

Walk in love, dear readers.

11 thoughts on “Restart

  1. Well I don’t have a life changing story for you, but I do get your feelings. Sometimes, it feels like a really good idea to quit my job, move May to a trail barn, sell off anything I don’t need, and start doing something that makes me feel accomplished(?)… not even sure that is what I am looking for. But I definitely get that feeling of wanting to do SOMETHING but not being sure if that SOMETHING is the right thing, right now.

  2. Rocking E Cowgirl

    I would love to be praying for you. If you feel comfortable, message me some specifics.

    I don’t have any life-changing stories either, but I do know that if this is a decision you might regret if you don’t take the risk, then you absolutely should do it.

  3. I’m a risk taker. I firmly believe that you gain nothing from being stationary. Sure the thin you gain may be regret but you’ll never know unless you try. Doors open for those whose eyes are open to see them. Good luck with your decision and remember that nothing is permanent

  4. Sometimes I need to be still and let things coalesce In my head and heart. Other times I know I’m just avoiding something hard. I’ve had to look deep and hard to figure it out. It sounds like you are getting ready to make a change. I’m a firm believer int “the lord helps those who help themselves “. That can be an attitude change or an action or a big decision. You will know what to do

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