Joy, it is here! I practically yelled that at you yesterday.

I am still yelling it and feeling it today, but as we all know, life is funny. Facebook slapped me with a memory of one of my Darcy’s Christmas portraits and it just sucker punched me right in the gut.

I was almost literally stomach sick (no mincing words here!). This happens from time to time, that is how grief and memories work, but I also had a dream about her earlier this week and I just can not get her off my mind. So many memories. So many feelings. I tell you I could almost feel her in my arms in the broad light of day.

I got to thinking and I realized that in the last eight years, I have experienced eight deaths. Three of which were tragically devastating.

What a statistic. Numbers are just that, numbers, but that is kind of a lot of deaths in a short period of time for someone who had previously not really experienced any beyond the passing of a well loved pet that lived well into its golden years.

Grief is funny in that when you are in it and close to it, the loss and the myriad of emotions that constitute grief lace all your thoughts and actions. You can not escape it and it seems to shape all you do. Blessedly, time does goes on and it morphs into something a little different bit by bit, but it is always a part of you, part of your inner tapestry, shaping you in different ways and giving you life perspective.

The point of all of this is that the holidays can be a very hard and lonely time for many people for any number of reasons, but chief among them is that in this time of togetherness and in the reflectiveness of winter, one thinks of those they can not gather with.

However, this is the AHA moment. One thing that we ALL share is loss. Grief is something that, while unique to each individual, is a universal connector of us all. NOBODY is alone in their grief for the simple reason that everybody has it. Even if it feels like you are alone at times. When you are in it, you can not see much else.

Here is what I want to tell you. What I have come to live for myself.

Through all the grief and loss there is another side to discover. Somewhat removed, but in a bird’s eye view kind of way. Not just a light at the end of the tunnel as they say.

There is triumphant gratitude.

Gratitude to the souls you got to encounter.

Gratitude for being able to be grateful for the grief.

I am wonderfully changed because of it all and you, my dear readers, will be changed as well.

I want to share this with you this year because I can and because you, and anyone and everyone else you know, are not alone in your grief.

It is important for me to share this, not just for me, but for all of you as well.

You are not alone and the light and the joy are there and they were with you the whole time.

We will always have our moments, that is how it works, but it does not last.

I am living proof and I am here to tell you.

Walk in love, dear readers. Share it and spread it far and wide!