Hump Day.

Here is my lunch time thought. Since we talked about the Sunday Blues (or Scaries/Funk/Dreads, whichever you fancy) and the resulting conversations (thanks to everyone for your comments and to Karen for this Hump Day inspiration! Go check out her blog because she is expecting a foal here pretty soon and the world is about to get that much cuter. I am currently exercising extreme restraint and not breeding my mare! I have foal fever!), let us get into Hump Day.

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Wednesdays have long been known as Hump Day. That middle of the week hurdle, once conquered, brings us with in grasp of the fleeting weekend. I live for my weekends to ride my horses. To recharge my batteries. To get back to center (let us not forget this song or this song!). Side note, expecting rain again………….Can not complain though, it grows the grass to feed the cows and horses. It recharges the water sources. Positive focus. Go me!

There are many ways people celebrate this day. I often partake in Wine Wednesday, as you might have noticed in the past, to celebrate that Hump Day hurdle. Or a special mid week dinner out with friends. Do you do something special for yourself for making it halfway through the week? Do not tell me you get a gold star.

On this particular Wednesday, I am going to be celebrating in another way. Dinner with my Mom’s parents and my Cousin. I am having lunch on Friday with Dad’s parents. I am so blessed to be 28 years old and have two full sets of Grandparents. I know many people can not say that. I have always been close with them. Growing up I would go to their house on weekends to play and for sleepovers. Or run errands with them. Listen to the stories of their lives. Learn from them. See their faith. Go to the movies. Ride horses. Do arts and crafts. Bake. I see myself in them. I see my family in them. We come from them. I love them and have always been close with them.

It is hard, knowing that every day with them is precious and they will not be here for forever. Life. It is even harder on my parents and it hurts me sometimes to watch the realization in them and knowing one day I will be there in their shoes. I take every opportunity to spend time with them.

I got an email from my dad today about positivity and social media from Jim’s Daily Awakenings. I really liked it so I thought I would share it with you below. Try to remember this advice in this social media driven world. Remember the Golden Rule you were taught as a child. It still applies today in all facets and forums. Get out of social media and talk to people. Be nice. Be positive. Care. Lift people up. Support each other.

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a blessed Wednesday! Tell your people you love them.

“I have a shocking thing to say to those of you on social media: Not everyone is interested in seeing a photo of your lunch, knowing your political opinions, or who you were with last night.
This morning I counted 210 social media networking websites.  This excludes the online dating websites.  The possible way to engage in conversation and share your opinion with strangers abounds.
But it bothers me that so many of the social media sites have gone negative. 
I detest all the hostile, nasty, intimidating political remarks that are posted online.
I hate that social media has become a forum for negativity, criticism, belittling, complaining, fault-finding, cynical remarks, put downs, unkind comparisons, and even verbal bullying.  Words that damage permanently are spoken behind the curtain of the Internet.  Some people have even committed suicide over things said to them online. 
Our words spoken online and in public should be positive, affirming, and encouraging. We should try to build people up in such a way that they never get over our edification of them.”  
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21)

Sunday Blues. 

You know how on Sundays when you start to feel that sad feeling brought on by the end of the weekend and the start of the week? Do you get it too? Sometimes, no matter how hard you try or how much you love what you do, it just creeps up on you. My mom calls it the Sunday Blues. My cousins call it the Sunday Scaries. I have friends that call it the Sunday Funk. 

It creeped up on me yesterday, and I was quite surprised by it. We have been really busy at work which is a really good thing. It makes the day to day more exciting. It makes the state of the oil and gas indistry more ‘comfortable.’ The weekend was pretty good. I did get out to the farm to ride Cheetah. We took a couple short loops around the pond because we were on a short time frame. Some is better than none! We got a lot of rain and Darcy and I took a nap listening to the pitter patter against the window. There was movie watching. I was refreshed. 

Maybe it was because I could only get one quick ride in on Cheetah. 


Maybe it was my list of things at work. 

Even my Darcy girl was feeling it yesterday. 


Despite the blues, it was a pretty dang good Monday. What are your best ways to combat the Sunday Blues/Scaries/Funk?

Walk in love, dear readers! 

I hope each and every one of you has a great week, free of any more blues. 

I am having dinner with one set of grandparents and lunch with another set this week. Good for the soul. 

Desire

Desire. A thought for the day.

I have and have had many desires in my life as I am sure many of you have. I find the dynamic nature of desires interesting and intriguing. As we learn and grow in life, as we gain wisdom with age, our desires change with our change in perspective. One can learn a lot about themselves, and others, by deciphering where certain desires come from. AHAmoment.

According to Merriam-Webster, the word desire is defined as:

  • Transitive verb: to long or hope for; to express a wish for or to; and most interestingly, to feel the loss of
  • Noun: conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment; longing; craving; formal request or petition for action; something longed or hoped for

To feel the loss of something. I found that interesting to be defined there in just that way. How can you long for something you never had? Can you feel the loss of something you never had? Can you really desire something you have never known? Is it really loss if you never actually had it to lose? I think so. That speaks to how powerful they are and how/why they drive us. I think that is part of what makes our true desires conscious.

What do you think?

I think the loss is very real. The relationship of the parent you never had. Or the child. Or the life. However, just like everything in life, there is a flip side to this coin. Not all loss is bad or negative. Loss can be good. It is, you know, part of the circle of life. Even this change averse gal can admit that. The feeling of loss is powerful in a good way when you no longer desire something that is harmful to you, for instance. Whether it is a person or a group of people or a thing or an idea. Does not matter.

I guess it is all of a piece. Maybe they are the same. The negative feeling of loss of something at first and then you grow and your perspective changes, making the loss positive in light of your changed desires.

I feel like I am quickly going down a hole into accounting.

I will confess that I have desires that I will not speak out loud, for fear of anyone experiencing the loss with me. I guess what it really boils down to is the shame that fear is creating.

I used to have a desire to be a famous horseman that other people looked to. Now, all I want to be famous from each of my horses’ perspectives. To be the best I can be for them. To be a real horseman. My perspective changed. That is something they have taught me through the grace of God.

I used to think I had it all figured out. I had a plan for my career and life. I desired certain things and I felt like I knew how to make them happen. Now, I feel like those desires are slipping away and I am discovering that I am letting them go. Has my perspective changed? I think it is changing. I am not there yet. New desires are not quite there yet. Do I feel loss? I do not know. I think in the beginning I did. Sometimes I feel lost and alone.

Does any of that make sense? Do you ever feel the same? What are your desires?

Far too much introspection for a Friday.

They are predicting rain all weekend, so here is hoping I get some ride time in. I can not complain though since the weather has been absolutely amazing.

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a great weekend. I am walking in faith trying to figure out the desires of my heart in my true self.

Too much? Oh well.

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Fire Alarm

We had the fire alarm go off in my office building this afternoon. I think my head is still ringing from the alarm.

After checking the postings in the kitchen to see if this was a scheduled test, which of course it was not, we all gathered and walked downstairs and outside. Gathered may be a strong word. We, which means me, made sure everyone was leaving and then just made our way out. All the adults…er, people in charge or powers at be were out of the office at the time. Figures.

I went into a straight up, even if momentary, panic at having to make sure everyone left. Hello, I am the youngest one in the office! For some reason, some people have a hard time following that simple rule in our office. I should be the rebel that does not follow the rules!

Alright fine. Ya, right. I am no rebel. I follow the rules. Most of the time. When I don’t, I just don’t talk about it.

All of that stress and ear holding made me wish we had a beer garden downstairs. Especially since the weather is simply beautiful.

It made me think about being in elementary school (not the beer part!) when everyone knew what to do in the event of a fire alarm. No questions. I remember it happening all the time.

There was one time, when I was in elementary school, that the fire alarm went off while I was in the restroom down the hall from our classroom. Just for a minute, put yourself there in your little, innocent elementary school self. All by yourself in the bathroom. Are you there yet? Scary, right???

It must have been unscheduled since my teacher allowed me to go. I hope. Anyway, I was wearing overalls, I remember. Back when overalls were a thing and everyone wore them. They may or may not have been made of black velvet. I know you are jealous.

When the alarm went off, I got so freaked out, I ran out of the bathroom before I had fully buckled my overall straps! I ran down the hall with my left shoulder strap flapping. When I reached my class and got in line to walk out of the school, I looked around and then fastened the strap, fully mortified that I ran out of the bathroom in that way. Funny the things we remember and remember well.

I also do not remember my teacher looking surprised or relieved upon my return to the classroom. Hopefully my sprint from the bathroom was so fast that she had not yet started going through the roll sheet.

Back to real life, where there is no beer garden downstairs.

Half way through the week! You can do it! Just 2 more work days until you can go and do what feeds your flame. You know what I will be doing.

A little more than 11 days until the time changes and we have more daylight!

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What will y’all be doing with more daylight???

Time & Everyday Life.

Was it not just yesterday that I was excited we had entered the ‘ber’ months? Elated for everything fall? Now we are less than one day shy of March. It is crazy how looking back over the last few months it seems to have gone by so fast. So fast in fact, that today feels like Wednesday. In the midst of it all, it felt terribly slow.

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So much has happened in such a short time. Or maybe not so much has happened?

It feels like a lot.

Not too terribly much to report over here. Pretty boring, actually. Do you want to know something? I am OK with that at the moment. Work is chugging along. I have many loads of laundry to do. I no longer have any clean riding jeans and I am running out of boot socks. Who cares about work clothes. The situation is dire on the home front. Priorities. I loathe doing laundry. Anyone else out there also really dislike laundry? Sure, a stack of neatly folded clothes is oddly satisfying, but the process of getting there? Not really. Darcy needs a bath. Darcy always needs a bath. Every weekend she finds something nasty to roll in. It is a gift she has.

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We are entering the last month of the first quarter of the year. I am happy to report that I have so far made good on my riding goals for the year. The other things, oh well, maybe not as good, but I have not forgotten them and am still working on them. That is a win in my book.

I do not think I waxed poetic earlier this week about how awesome Lito is. Do not worry, I am not going to do that now. Well, at least I do not think I am. Anyway, I am planning his first off property ride with a friend for sometime in the next two months. I am pretty excited about it. I am glad to be making progress with him. I also spoke with my Aunt and Cousin about getting them on the farm schedule so I can have the support to continue to ride him regularly (Sorry for the repeat vid, but honestly, I can’t get enough of it!). Cheetah is doing well and I am excited about taking some lessons and going to a show in the second quarter of the year. I am also more than ready for the time to change back. Give me more daylight so I can ride more! I am planning to increase my rides by at least one more during the week. The next thing on my execution list is getting lessons actually on the calendar.

I have been listening to Midland this week. I like their older country feel. I also have a serious thing for 70’s fashion. I want a whole new wardrobe of just 70’s. Strange, I know.

So many words and not much said. Makes me think of this Jason Eady song with the line “words that come too easy sometimes tell the bigger truth.”

Anything exciting going on? A calm, everyday life is pretty comforting for me right now. How are y’all doing on your new year resolutions?

Walk in love, dear readers.

Country Bound

As most of you know, I spend at least a few hours out in the country every weekend. There are many reasons for this, but it is mainly because, well, I need it. My soul needs it. It is where I feel most at home. Where I want to end up one day.

Thanks to Brent Cobb for posting this on his YouTube, for recording it, and to his Dad and Uncle for writing it.

This may be a dramatic statement to some, but this song is how I feel sometimes. Maybe more than just sometimes. Also, the whole John Denver combined with Robert Ellis vibe? Wow. I almost can not handle it.

It is necessary for me to unplug and get away. If I do not do this, I lose my sight and focus. I get anxious. What is it that they say? Lose the forest for the trees? Or the sun for the rays? I do not know why I am this way, I just am. Sometimes, I need it more than just once a week.

At the end of last week, I was struggling to get anything finished. You know when that happens? You have a lot to do and you find yourself just staring at it? Like hello, get going, move it! This happens to me more and more it seems. AHAmoment. This just occurred to me. I might start giving myself deadlines. Anyway, that is a story for another day. I was more than ready to get out of town and recharge.

The point is, when I do, I am able to see, hear, feel, and truly experience things like this. For what it is. In vivid detail. This is why I need it. My horses are also there. My family is often there. And there is that whole side benefit of, hey all I have to do is get through this week and I get to go to the farm! Oh, am I not supposed to admit that? Oh well. I want to eventually be able to have that every day.

I was walking back from the barn with Niece and Nephew after going to see the horses. I looked up and was amazed watching them walk through the grass off into the sunset. Completely in the moment. There is nothing better for them than this.

Sitting by the pong with my sister, her family, and some friends. Watching the sunset and the boys fish. Sunsets are so spiritual to me. Each moment both different and sacred.

I snapped these of my Bro in law. Fishing is his number one passion, like horses are for me.

A quick video of me riding the best baby horse of all time. Kids, do not video while you ride. Right after this, I dropped my phone. It still works though!

Cuddle time with my main mare.

For all you people with the Monday feels…this is truth. I found this on a friend’s Facebook page. Truth it may be, it can still be hard!

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Great family dinner last night that was good for the soul.

Walk in love, dear readers. Go kick butt today!

 

Daily Dose Of Cute

Who does not love baby animals? No one.

 

 


I bet you are smiling now.

Please excuse all the ‘stuff’ in the pen. I wanted him to be exposed to as many things as possible so he would be brave and confident when he grew up. He is.

Nothing like babies to warm the heart.

I watched the news this morning and it was depressing. Mornings should not be ruined by the ‘news.’

I went to a baby shower with my mother yesterday after work that was hosted by our church. We all brought gifts to donate to a pregnancy help center that helps pregnant women in need who do not have the means or knowledge to support their baby. I was quite moved by it and am so happy I went.

While getting ready for work today, Jonah Werner came up on my music shuffle. It gave me all the feels. My middle sister and I listened to him on the day of my Uncle’s funeral. When my sister was in middle school (and I was in elementary school), she went to a Jonah Werner concert at the church my Uncle, Aunt, and Cousins went and still go to.

Have a great day. I am focusing on the positive and the happy.

Walk in love.

Sneak Attack

You know how memories or emotions can sneak up on you when you least expect them? Like a sneak attack? Sometimes happy, sometimes…not?

For instance, today, when I left my office building and entered the open air parking garage to drive home for lunch. The garage is where the smokers smoke. Every time I smell the distant, faint smell, I am immediately transported to the barn I used to take horseback riding lessons at. Where I first started. My instructor smoked. The lounge smelled of it. She smelled of it. The arena faintly smelled of it.

Sometimes, when I smell cigarette smoke, in fact most times, I think of negative things like cancer. Morbid, I know. Not in our parking garage though. I hear Dorthy’s voice calling out instructions during a lesson, in her raspy, characteristic voice. I think of the dusty arena and stall aisles. The golden light that shone through the barn boards and onto the shiny, clipped Saddlebreds as they ate in their stalls. I think of that lady who boarded her two Quarter Horses there. One of them was a gray mare. That kind lady would let me help her groom and sit on that mare’s back during my sister’s lesson. I often go back to the feeling of my favorite lesson of all time where I got to leave the indoor arena to have my lesson in one of two grassy turnouts out back. I do not remember the actual lesson. Maybe there was not really one. Maybe I just got to ride. That is what I remember. Riding. Just being with the horse, the sunlight, the grass, and the wind in the trees and the horse’s mane. I was riding Smokey, a gray gelding. It was over too fast. Maybe this is why I have always had a thing for grays. Those two favorites of mine at the barn. I was 7 or 8 at the time.

The sneak attack is not always a happy memory, is it? We had a big conference for work
last week and, if you remember, on the first day I spilled my coffee on my white shirt. I seem to have a problem with spilling on myself. You learn new things about yourself when you blog. Anyway, the first thing that came to mind was when you are trying to get the last of a drink in a cup full of ice. You know, when the ice holds tight to the base of the glass until you are convinced you are safe to enjoy the last sip, and then wham, out tumbling comes the ice in your face like boulders off a mountain. Major sneak attack, whether it is coffee or ice. I figured I would cover it up the best I could with my name tag and, if need be, use it as a good ice breaker for people coming up to the booth to talk.

That same day, during a short, slow stint in the booth, feeling self conscious about my coffee stain, I was blankly staring down the aisle at the various people wandering and talking. I caught sight of this man. He was talking to the people in a booth diagonally down a ways. I had a rear, 45 degree angle view on him. The first thing I realized when I clued into my thoughts was, is that my Uncle B? Everything came screeching to halt in my brain. If I had been drinking coffee, I might have spilled on myself again. This man had the same hair, clothes, height, stance, and profile as my Uncle from what I could see. The shock, sadness, and surprise came on me again all at once. Not dissimilar to the feeling when I saw his brother that looks exactly like him through a window on that day. Luckily for me last week, the feeling was fleeting.

I spoke with my mother about it when we went on a walk ride Sunday morning. I was not going to share it with her because I did not want to focus on the negative, I wanted to remember the positive. He would have been eager to hear how the conference went and what people were talking about the next time we got together. Were people getting hopeful or excited yet in the industry. Asking if I networked and met new people.

My mother was the one who brought it up. She was walking and I was riding. It is our thing. There was a lull in the conversation and we were together in the silence. I was remembering that moment at the conference the very second that my mother started to talk about him. Funny how that happens. We all are experiencing the same things in our own ways. We are never alone in anything that we go through. AHAmoment.

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Have you had any sneak attacks lately? Good or not so?

Walk in love, dear readers.

From Tuners

To you, dear readers, from Petunia. Just because. She always has a lot to say. It makes me happy. I hope it does you too and brightens your day.  

She was probably commenting on my water line fixing abilities, which leave a lot to be desired. Or, that she was hungry. 

She always seems to be hungry. And happy. Be like Tuners. 


This weekend ended up being as busy as my week. Between late nights, catching up on some sleep, riding horses, chores, helping a friend with her new horse, and crazy weather, I felt like I needed another day before the week started. Luckily, I had a very welcome day off today. Small company perks for the win! We had buckets of rain dumped on us this morning before I headed back to town which filled the pond right up. I see water work in my horses’ futures! 

Hitting it hard at work tomorrow! Walk in love. 

Quiet Mornings

The quiet times in the morning are my favorite. I like to have my time in the morning to sit and drink my coffee. To wake up. To be quiet. Reflect. Listen and think. It is my time.

This morning, my early morning wake up call was accompanied by distant rolling thunder. After a quick cuddle with my Darcy dog, adimitedly considering catching a quick five minutes more to listen to the thunder in bed, I crawled out and suited up for the day.

I left as the sun was rising and the rain began to fall. The drive downtown was pleasant and not too terribly crazy. I imagine, full of many people like me, who like to be early.

I got to the booth at the conference before everyone else. I filled the flyer and business card holders, replenished the candy bowl, and went in search of coffee with hopes of not spilling it on myself today. I wore a white shirt again.

When I got back to the booth, some others from my company were sitting at the booth. I sat down, happily drinking coffee (haven’t spilled yet!), listening to their conversation, and watching the other attendees slowly come in.

It got me thinking just now about a time when I was up early reading for grad school while my Darcy, a puppy at the time, sat in her bed by the Christmas tree and fire place. I snapped a quick photo of her and sent it to a friend. She replied, “never lose sight of times that are simply perfect.” AHAmoment.

This feels like one of those times to me. I have a great job with great people. This week has been crazy busy both with work and socially. I have been able to catch up with old friends. I get to see and hopefully ride my horses this weekend. I get to celebrate a dear friend’s birthday on Saturday. I have Monday off!

You may say that perfect does not exist in this world. However, the Lord made it. It is all a part of His plan. He does not make mistakes. We do, but the point is to learn from them. To grow closer to Him through it.

Sometimes I wish I had more and different things to share with y’all. More interesting. More insightful or earth shattering. However, this is not so bad to me.

Time to get to work.

Have a great Friday, dear readers. Walk in love!

P.S. I did not spill on myself. Winning.