It is a rainy morning here on the farm while I enjoy my coffee in the loggia with my Merle wet and lying at my feet. I managed to get the horses fed before it started raining again. Mother Nature truly put on a light show with the heavy rain storms last night and there is a good chance for more today. I am smiling contentedly as I think of the horses and cows on their happy, lush pastures.
Good Friday is turning into another one of those reflective days for me. I mean, it should be a day of reflection already of course with the coming of Easter, but it is even more so for me now. Good Friday was one of my days with H.
I am not sure when it became a tradition of sorts, but it just did. It was one of the days we would regularly try to schedule a ride together. I think it was a day that she always had off from work and she did not feel as bad taking that time away from her husband, other animals, and home. Sometimes we rode with other friends and sometimes it was just the two of us. It just depended on what everyone had going on. In the more recent past, it was usually just the two of us.
I really miss her today and that seems to make me even more grateful that it is raining like this. Like we are not really missing another ride together as the years accumulate.
However, as sad as I feel at the present moment have felt for the past few days at times coming up on today, I have also found myself smiling at the same time. While on the one hand I am not quite sure how I feel about that, the whole dichotomy of feelings I mentioned yesterday, on the other hand I am beyond grateful that I am here. That I am able to look back on all our time together so happily and be glad that we had it. That I can really feel the gratitude that we were even friends at all, even if it feels like her time here on earth and our time together as friends was cut short.
Being in this new and improved and bigger, but hey the same great thing, space of gratitude while I am remembering my H, I am beyond grateful for my life and my time in this earthly world. I know this probably sounds odd and possibly I could have worded it in a better way, but it is true. Case in point being H. We do not know how much time we have and we can not create it or get it back. My point is, this ever repetitive AHA moment, use your time wisely!
I do not know what exactly I set out to write today, but I am grateful. I am grateful that H and I were friends. I am grateful to FEEL. Whatever the feelings may be. Happy, sad, you name it. They are not independent of each other anyway. You can not have one without the other. I am grateful for my grief because I think it makes the joy bigger.
Walk in love, dear readers! Go live your time while you enjoy the memories! Dance in the rain!
Relationships, like reflections of this very life we live, are complicated and can be hard. People, everyone, make ‘mistakes.’ Mess up. Have hard times. Have left things unsaid. Go down the wrong path. Our own eyes often can not see the whole picture. That is why sharing your story, being vulnerable and opening up, is so very important.
I have not my own words for today’s AHAmoment, but those of a band of brothers that I would call friends and family even though I have never met them in person, only through their music.
Let the very heartbeat of the music get deep in your soul. Turn the volume up. Let it bring the lyrics to your brain, your heart. Let it all reverberate together in there. Give that brother of yours a call.
“Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need
We get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in between
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes
Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart
I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were
Now my hands can’t reach that far
I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone
I know that in my weakness I am strong, but
It’s your love that brings me home
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
And when you call and need me near
Sayin’ where’d you go?
Brother, I’m right here
And on those days when the sky begins to fall
You’re the blood of my blood
We can get through it all
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re feelin’ low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home”
It is about that attitude of gratitude. Forgiveness. Being there for each other. Lifting each other up. Being a light. Living and breathing that love. We can not do this alone, dear readers. Love. God is love.
We are all better for it. Just look at what these brothers have done.
I am grateful for all of my brothers, sisters, family, and friends. I am one blessed gal, and so are you.
In the end, we are all brothers and sisters in this walk of life. In Christ.
Walk in love, dear readers, and enjoy this music and lyrics Monday.
The Monday before Thanksgiving! Get to counting your many blessings!
Naughty little dog. The Darcy Doolittle found some horse treats that R had somewhere. She decided they were indeed for her. Good thing I have an indoor/outdoor rug. Us traveling horse gals can be hard on the finer, indoor things of life. Tracking in shavings and hay, leaving burrs all over the house, and eating horse treats off the floor. You know, everyday stuff. Have I ever told you about the time Darcy ate crayons? No? Well, that is indeed a story for another day very soon. Anyway.
I wonder why she left the crumbs? A snack for later? Maybe she saved them for R’s cat? How sweet.
Not having time for such nonsense, I shook my head at her as she wagged her tail innocently at me before we loaded up and left. We had good times awaiting us.
I met up with some friends Friday evening who were spending the weekend doing fun horsey things. We talked and laughed, ate and drank, and listened to music. I had a grand time and got back to the farm late.
Which, indeed made waking up early to do all the things a wee bit difficult. After some encouragement from Darcy and Petunia protesting the late breakfast service, I got up and started the day. I rode Chance and Lito between moving sprinklers and taking care of other odds and ends. There are always a ton of odds and ends.
After riding, I loaded Lito a couple of times. You know, practice makes perfect better, better, better. He self loaded twice and was calm and confident so we called it a day. He is back to nickering at me when I come in to unload him which makes me more than happy. I am going to take him and Cheetah to a friend’s in a couple weeks for a fun, low key day.
Kisses for everyone from Lito. The day could not have been more beautiful. Not too hot and not really humid. Scattered clouds providing occasional blocks from the sun. A good breeze.
I had a late lunch after finishing up and went back to my friend’s for another fun evening. Friends and laughter along with a sunset like the above, is great for the soul and you feel it right down in your heart.
Sunday morning greeted us with an unexpected, and most welcome, chance of rain. I quickly packed up, left, and went to the car wash in hopes of ensuring some moisture. Here is hoping it worked! It was practically a gully washer in town!
What beautiful things did y’all get up to this weekend?
Walk in love, dear readers, and make it a great Monday!
Well mostly, that is. Always have to have that caveat to cover your bases, you know what I mean? But let us not focus on that.
So, let’s make today a Celebration Tuesday. It is a thing, trust me. I made it up. Because we all have something to celebrate, no matter the day or time. And because I can. And because, well, it certainly sounds better than Boring Tuesday! It is what you make it. AHAmoment.
The deal and the paperwork on the new car has been completed and I should have it in my possession tomorrow or the next day. Fingers crossed. I took care of that yesterday.
Can anyone please tell my why that process takes so long?! I was amazed! Four hours just to sign papers…ridiculous. Anyway. Now I just have to give my old car a good wash before I deliver him to his new owner. The whole process was not as bad as I thought it would be. Also, surprisingly not as exciting as I thought either but I am guessing that is because I do not have it yet. But alas, still something to celebrate!
My Darcy girl is finally back to her normal, bubbly self. All systems are a go, if you will. This is more than enough reason to celebrate!
No more eating dirt just to get the pig drippings, you naughty dog!
Play time after bath time equals nap time in Darcy land. I am not sure who had a harder time last week, her or me. It is terrible to watch any animal in pain. Seriously, the worst.
We are about there at redemption with Lito and our trailer loading set back. He is pretty consistently self loading and seems much more comfortable with the whole deal. This weekend I will take him for a little drive up the road and back to see how he feels about it. I would prefer him to just follow me in, but I will take what I can get. If that is how he prefers it, I will just have to open my mind to it. So, ware celebrating this as well! Celebrating it for Lito and his accomplishments.
He has lost some confidence in these past few weeks and that really hurts my heart. It feels like it is my fault and I do not know where I went wrong. All I know is I have the faith, love, and time it takes to to get him back to his confident self. Going back to Kindergarten is fun right? You get nap time? And snack time? Hopefully we will pick the riding back up in a couple of weeks. We will get through this phase together and be better for it.
I took my Cheetah girl for a 2 hour road ride on Sunday. It was quiet and she power walked the whole time like we were really going somewhere. It made me wish we really were. We both needed that time alone, out together, just going, even if it wasn’t anywhere specific.
Just look at those happy ears.
What are you celebrating on this Tuesday?
It’s not a boring Tuesday anymore when you look at it like that, is it?
The sun’s predawn light trickled through the blinds as I blinked, reaching for my phone to turn off my alarm. Patting my bedside table, I realized it was not there, but I was still not comprehending. The only thought was why the volume was so loud and how it seemed to slowly get that way. Like it came from afar. My vision finally came to when I saw a dark something on my sheets, very close to my pillow. Strange. What in the world could that be. I did not hear my alarm anymore. I laid there staring. My still asleep mind jumped to a pool of blood. Yes, that is natural. That has to be it. Where could it have come from. My nose? I never get nose bleeds. My ear? Heck if I know. What is it?! How?
I moved my sheet and discovered the rest of the black rectangular shape that was my phone. I dropped my head like a rock on my pillow with a sigh as I began to hear my alarm sing again. Turn that off. I have to get up. Shower. Go be an adult. How I longed for the days of my youth when we got to take naps at school. Why did we fight the naps? Most all kids seem to fight the nap. If only I could tell them not to. If only they knew!
Such a dramatic wake up for a day like Monday! I can not read into that one too much. When I had my appendix taken out, I woke up one night from a nightmare that I bled out. I read somewhere that is common after surgery. Yesterday was somewhat dramatic. I am not sure if that is really the word, but we will go with it.
I can not help but feel that my life lately can be summed up in a single emoji. Something like this…
Especially yesterday. Ugh. I do not even want to share. But. That is what this is for, right? What IT is about? Sharing our story. Yes. Please tell me I am not alone at the end of this.
I spent the weekend at the farm. Lito started his light trot work and was nice and sound. He seemed to be quite happy to not just be walking and the short 5 min of trot had him slightly breathing. On Saturday, I loaded up Cheetah and rode with some friends who have a place down the road from us. Cheetah was great and we had a grand time. Rode in the morning. Then had mimosas in the shade before spending the afternoon in the pool. We had dinner and I got home a little late but not bad.
I had Sunday all planned. You know what they say about plans, right? Anyway, I woke up without an alarm a little after 6 AM. After trying to will myself into sleeping more, I got up and went to go feed the horses with the dogs. I was dog sitting for some friends over the weekend. I had a leisurely breakfast and read a little with my coffee. I got dressed and took care of some things before taking Lito out for his little bite of exercise. All good. I packed and did some house cleaning, before loading up the dogs to head back before lunch time. I had all afternoon.
I was going to get back to town and drop of the dogs at their home. Then Darcy and I would go on our merry way to our new townhouse and finish moving over the course of the afternoon. We were to spend our first night there. I was excited. I will add that Darcy was excited too just for dramatic effect. We need more of that.
I stopped in the little town right by the farm to fill up before hitting the road. I did my auto pilot thing. You know how you are doing things and do not even realize it because you do them all the time and your mind is off in a different world thinking about other things? Not really in the present? That. I filled up like I always fill my car. MY CAR. Not my dad’s diesel truck.
Yes. you read that correctly.
I could not have felt more stupid. I am not a stupid person.
I sat in the truck while it filled up completely oblivious to what I had just done. Just waiting. Yelling at Poodie to stop barking at the innocent people walking back to their cars with their drinks and snacks. I heard the pump click off. In a split second my eyes got wide as I got an image in my mind of what I just done. No, surely not. I hope I did not just do that. Don’t freak out just yet. Turn around and look to confirm before you freak out.
That was a wasted second of clear, level thinking. I turned around to see the gas pup innocently resting in the diesel tank of the truck. My head dropped as I took a breath. I returned the pump to its holster and slowly turned around to sit in the truck and think. No one answered their phones. Typical. I called my dad three times. I look up and see I from the feed store! Oh thank you Lord! I waved him over and gave him the run down. He was very happy I did not start the truck. My spirits lightened slightly at that. He gave me our mechanic’s brother’s number who has a tow truck. Then called the mechanic begging for help.
Lucky for me, we are long time customers and they are nice people. I owe a lot of people some homemade cookies. I seemed a little worried about me, but I assured him I would be fine once I quit being mad at myself and I would text him if I needed a ride or when I got back safely.
My dad called me and said, “What is wrong?” Well, I told him what happened and that I had the ball rolling to get it fixed. His responded with, “Oh no.” I know. “You didn’t start it did you?” No, I didn’t start it.
We got the truck towed down the road to the shop. “You didn’t start it did you?!” NO! I didn’t start it!!! Why doesn’t anyone believe me! “Don’t feel bad, I had someone just last week who did this. At least you didn’t start it.”
The tow truck driver gave us a ride back to the farm. The four of us. Me and the three dogs. A comical sight on the bench seat of a tow truck and a bit of a tight squeeze.
R came to rescue us from the farm and deliver us safely back home. She was our knight in shining steel she said. She has jokes that one. I could not ask my parents to do that. I felt, and still kinda feel, like a cowering dog with his tail tucked between his legs. They were not mad, but I was. I made R stay for dinner. R said she has driven off with the pump a few times. Thanks for trying to make me feel better, R.
Hopefully it will be all fixed today.
At least it makes for a good story? Self deprecating humor? Eventually.
Mom said to be nice to myself. People make mistakes. Yes, we do. Some just are not that easy to swallow. I tried to google how often people do this. Ha! Not an easy answer. I will find the humor!
Today is a new day, as my mother said this very morning. And it is just that!
A new day, and new hit. You only thought that was the end of it or the worst of it. I just got a text from a friend that I rode with last weekend. She is pretty sure her horse has strangles and to watch our horses closely. Great.
But hey, I am already there taking care of Lito, no time like the present. Praying that it is not and that our horses do not contract it!
We will tackle this too. These issues do not know who they are dealing with!
We will tackle them with high heads, walking in love. Drawing our strength through Him, growing and learning.
The trail ride I am going on this weekend is an annual thing. I have been going for about five years now. It is always a super fun time and is my favorite ride of the year. On the Sunday of the weekend, we ride out to a nice place and gather around for a quick little sermon on the trail. There are moments of laughter and there are moments of tears. The message is usually strong.
This was last year’s ride with Ike. Last year’s ride was after Easter and I was able to wear a straw hat. Some of the people we ride with stick to those old hat season conventions. Me, I do not care for them. It is too dang hot down here to be wearing a felt hat for months. We only have a few weeks of ‘real winter’ down here usually. I took Ike because my Cheetah beetah had a hoof abscess AND white line. Ugh. I will let that sink in for you horse people. That was rough. For 3 months. Since Easter is next weekend, I will have to wear my felt hat and it is supposed to get into the mid to high 80’s.
Anyway, I digress. A few years ago, it was a rainy Sunday. It was decided that instead of riding out, we would just stay at camp and have our sermon in the pavilion after breakfast, then everyone would go home early. The radar predicted it to be wet all day (and it was, go figure, very wet indeed). This particular Sunday was also a somber one. One of the ladies had just lost her mother. As you can imagine, there were many tears shed over the weekend, but what I remember just as much or more than the tears was the fellowship. Everyone really came together in support. It was extremely touching. I jotted down this closing line of the sermon focusing on Psalms and Proverbs before the closing prayer. Your AHAmoment for the day.
“Be calm and confident and leave it there.”
This year I offered to play (ha! not me, my device) a song to add to the experience since we all know how I am about music and I thought it would be a nice touch. I suggested a few songs to be chosen from. This was the winner. A lovely story and message (thanks to Jason Eady – Topic on YouTube for the vid).
This coming Sunday is Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday naturally made me think of Easter and my favorite Easter song (thanks to Mike McClure – Topic on YouTube for the vid).
Can you tell I am ready for the weekend? It is literally all I can focus on. Lucky for me, it is going to come one day early! Tomorrow we have some important meetings and things that need to get done, but then I am off to the farm after work. Friday 10 AM arrival for good times.
Forgive me for this. I am just going to have to brag on my horse here for a bit. An absolute love fest.
Fire with Pops Friday night with great music buy Jason Eady and Courtney Patton.
Saturday, we had the best day! We went on a road trail ride with some friends. Something we do a few times a year and something she typically tolerates for me. She also commonly makes sure I know that she is doing it for me and she would rather be doing something else. Like riding by ourselves out in the middle of nowhere. That is also my jam, but the middle of nowhere is harder to find and it is nice to socialize sometimes.
She was amazing and really seemed to have a good time. Seriously. Ears pricked and licking her lips the whole time. Not overly mareish, pinning her ears and telling others what to do. She was also very outwardly loving and affectionate. In public. Ha! It was more than the great weather. It was more than the great company (It was so wonderful to be with some of my best friends doing what we all love to do. Laughter. Fellowship. Good for the soul). It was more than her being on her best behavior. It is hard to explain. Part of the wonder of horses. We both had a great time. I just love her and she loves me. Love fest. That is all I know. I know it sounds funny and a little out there, but if you have animals you know what I mean.
My good friend, H, and her mare, Chica, were there. Chica Rey did not get the ears pricked memo.
My other really good friend, R, was there with the gelding she rides, Ronan. We have a mutual affection for horses and Baker plaid.
My Cheetah girl and I have come a long way together and I would not have her or our journey any other way. I am so blessed to have her in my life and I know without a doubt that she was put in my life for a reason. I am also blessed and grateful to have my friends. It is special to do what I like to with like minded people.
I am excited for what we have planned for the year.
Do you have friends that like to do what you like to do?
I hope you all had a great weekend and an even better week.
