Living For Today

Dear readers.

There is only so much time we are given in this life.

It is a precious gift.

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And it should be.

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Do not waste it.

This is true in all facets of life.

In a way, living for today is how you live for tomorrow. It is when you look back and realize you have not wasted your time that you know you set yourself up just right.

Walk in love, dear readers.

Dreams

You know, dreams are funny thing. I have always thought this.

Some nights you do not remember any of them. Some nights you wish you did not have any, but you can not shake the memory for the life of you. Some dreams are even repeat players. Then there are the nights where you have such vivid and clear and lovely dreams that the images and feelings stick with you for more than just the day, but for what feels like a lifetime. You could retell, with exacting clarity, every moment of that dream over and over. God help the person that really dislikes to hear about dreams. I seem to find myself compelled to tell those people all about my dreams.

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I have had two of those dreams in as many weeks.

The first was not this past Monday, but the Monday before.

In this dream I was riding Lito in a little arena by a little white house with peeling and chipping paint out in the country. Set off a little ways by a small, quiet country road with little traffic. The rest of the property was cross fenced with rusty barbed wire and crooked wooden posts into little pastures full of grass. All of this was surrounded by other, similar parcels.

The house had a green and white striped, mildew stained awning over what I guess what the kitchen window and a little covered porch that led to the front door. The front door had a big square window with a curtain hanging from the inside. Next to the door on the porch, crookedly sat one of those rusty, metal chairs. Part way facing the road and part way facing down the two steps off the porch and to the arena.

There I was was with my Lito, riding in that little arena. It was day time, but I remember there were arena lights that could be used for night rides. And we were not alone. There were a handful of other riders with us. All doing our own thing, as I was. The curious thing about it was, I do not think I knew any of them. Maybe it was that they were not important to what was between us. Between me and Lito.

I did seem to know, in some form or another, a man that was standing, leaning on the arena fence by the road. The manner of our connection I knew not, but when we trotted down that long side of the arena where he was near the end of my ride, we smiled at each other. Seemingly knowing something, the same thing.

I know what I knew. It was Lito and the ride was magical. We were totally in tune. That is the only way I can describe it. He was forward, but not too. He was just there. My thoughts were his and his were mine. It was our own little world out there in that little country arena and we just were. It felt like a dance I have yet to really know. Focusing and working on nothing, just riding.

That is when I woke up, as I trotted past the man. I awoke knowing, somehow, that feeling was going to come true soon. Part of me wanted to cling to the sleep to try and get back to the dream (it is truly a shame that is not a thing) and the other part of me wanted to play hooky from work and go ride. And alright, I admit, there was a third part of me who wonders who the man was. Strange to have that strong of a feeling and it had me in a daze for days.

I had another of those dreams last night. It is actually one I think I have had before and not all that long ago.

I was in a place I have never been in real life. I want to say that it was not Texas, but I do not want to admit that. It felt like a foothills region if not even mountainous. The air was crisp, the grass was very green, and the trees felt like they looked like Aspen trees, but I do not think they were. It was easy to visualize, standing and looking off the porch in the back, snow being there.

The building was somewhat of a log cabin style and there was an attached side building or room and the door out front was open. There was at least one other person with me, but again, I do not know who. The building was situated on the top of a little hill that likely went down to a little creek on the back side, but it was not a very steep hill. It was more of a gently sloping hill in most places.

I do not really know what was on either side of this building, but I knew there had to be a barn close by because as I entered this side room, I realized it was a tack room. And rather oddly, an empty tack room with a full wall covered in saddle racks. It was dark, but it was warm, cozy, comfortable, and full of color. It was then that the feeling began. I told somebody with a silly, childlike grin on my face that I had to put my tack in there. As only a horse girl would.

We continued through the tack room and past an unknown hallway, out the back door to the aforementioned porch looking down the hill where the truck and trailer full of horses was parked in the driveway that circled around the back. I know Lito was in there.

I looked around me, standing there on the porch. At the seating arrangement around me and down to the green grass and trees. And then to my left at the lower level deck and chairs down the stairs. I was hit with the feeling from before while I was in the tack room that this place, wherever it was, would be like home to me, if not my actual home one day. For as different as it was from the farm, it felt like the farm.

That was when I woke up. Dreams, man, they are an odd thing. I think I need another cup of coffee.

Have you ever had dreams like that? What do dreams mean to you? Tell me! My family hates hearing about my dreams. I just had to share.

Walk in love, dear readers!

Step Forward, Never Back.

Cheers, y’all!

I hope each and every one of you and yours has a very happy NYE! May your bubbly be cold, feelings warm, family and friends present, and animals not freak out too badly with the fireworks.

cheers.gifLooking forward to 2018!

I know it is not quite NYE, but I want to wish each and every one of you and yours a wonderful and blessed New Year. It is no secret that NYE is not my favorite. Mostly because there are too many expectations and every time I try to actually do something fun and different, it ends up not being so. So, I will be at the farm doing what I love. Even if it means freezing while I do it. Literally. It is supposed to be dreadfully cold out. For like a whole week. At least I have not made my vet appointment yet. Forgive me if I am MIA for a little.

Anyway.

It is interesting having this blog and to be able to now look back and see what I was doing and thinking a year ago. I was reflecting on the year 2016, if you couldn’t guess. Woof. What an awful year when you really think about it. I try not to, preferring to focus on the good and positive things that happened.

I am glad to not be in the same place I was a year ago, spilling wine on myself and glad to chunk the year in the trash. Although, the night is young and there is still a chance of spillage.

But 2017 has been a pretty good year on a whole. Better than 2016 for sure. Did some not so great things happen? Sure, a few come to mind. That whole hurricane and the whole tendon incident and probably some more. Give me a year where nothing bad happens. It is called life.

Having never been a journal keeper, this literal looking back concept is new for me. How easily I forget some things! I feel rather fortunate for that.

At the beginning of this year, like most people, I set all these goals for the year. Determined to make it a great one, at least better than the last. You can probably guess where this is going. Some of the goals I kept, however many I did not. Just like most people with resolutions. So determined was I, in fact, that I was quite not looking forward to writing this post in review of all those resolutions.

Then I got to thinking. You know what? What does it matter? It doesn’t matter. It is OK that I did not keep them. It does not make me a bad person. You want to know what else? I did some pretty awesome other things instead. You know, like taking Lito for a long weekend in the hill country with my best gal pal, R, and then taking him on a week long ride with bunch of other horses and learning from Charlotte Dujardin. The resolutions are not what is important. What is important is the way you live your live. Your intention. Your heart.

So. You know what I will do? I will look forward to 2018 and all the things to come, stepping forward with confidence and not looking back. I will pray with intention more (I kept that resolution!). I will ride more and worry less. Time spent worrying is time spent wasted. AHAmoment. I have already signed up to ride in a clinic in May. I am going to love myself and live every day like tomorrow is not promised because it is not. I will focus on the positive and the light (I think I kept that one too!).

Sound grand and great? Maybe, but I will do my best. Kick me in the butt if I need it, OK? I will do the same for you.

Walk in love, dear readers!

Baby Boy

Took baby boy on his first group trail ride with about 20 others.

I should probably stop calling him that. Not much of a baby now at 4.5 years old and over 16 hands high. Oh well.

He was wonderful.

R and I arrived early (surprised? No, I know you are not) so I could ride in the arena for a bit before heading out. When everyone was ready, we rode out on the trails for a few hours. The worst of the summer heat has passed and highs in the low 90s are a welcome relief. I have a feeling this winter is going to be hard, so I will savor the temperatures now while I can.

Mimosas, dried meats, and cheeses were just the ticket when we were finished and delayed the Sunday blues that hit us hard on the way home.

He was also the biggest horse there. But that is besides the point. People seem to be amazed by big horses. I am used to it. Side note, someone please gift me a warmblood sized trainer. Homeboy has to wear a helmet in there he is so tall. He seems to take great joy in rubbing his head on the ceiling! You think I am kidding, I am not.

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Anyway. Big plans for this guy. I am going to take him on my week long riding vacation here in a couple weeks. Last year I took Ike and we had a smashing time. Riding every day in the hill country with my people. It will be a great experience for him. Especially for when I finally get him to his first show. Which was supposed to happen this year. Sigh. So many well intentioned ideas at the beginning of the year. Oh well.

He is quickly becoming my favorite trail horse. Cheetah will always be my number one, but she much prefers solo rides or small groups. Lito seems to quite enjoy the group activity, so we will see. We are slowly but surely installing some buttons in his brain and, just like with everything else, he is a quick study. All in good time. All in Lito’s time. All in God’s time. AHAmoment.

Slowly prepping until we leave. One last weekend. We begin to make our way there on the first Saturday in October. Much to do until then.

How was your weekend?

Walk in love, dear readers!

Speaking Of…

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I have seen this pop up a few times and then my Aunt M shared it with me yesterday. So, naturally. I am sharing it with you! Hard not to since I was just talking about being present yesterday.

This speaks to my anxious self always worrying about the future.

So.

Your AHAmoment today brought to you by Lao Tzu and my Aunt M.

Walk in love, dear readers. Have a great Friday and be present!

Takes Me Back

How has your weekend been? It has been busy and rainy around here. No riding for me, unfortunately, but great times had none the less. This is going to be a long week, but on the plus side, the time has finally changed! Cheers to more hours in the day to fit in rides. For the next two weeks I am house and dog sitting for some friends. The dogs are already tired after 3 days of shenanigans.

An Elliot Randall song came up on my shuffle while driving this weekend and I was immediately transported back to freshman year of college.

I love how a song can take you right back to another place and time. Almost as if I had never left. Every time it happens, which as you can guess is quite a bit for me given my love of music, it amazes me. It is so vivid. This particular song sparked all the remembrance and longing of simpler times. No real responsibilites outside of school and having fun. Hanging out with friends. Driving around that college town to and from campus and the barn with the windows down. While at the same time accompanied by all the angst involved with forging your path on your own, unable to avoid thinking about the unknown future. Struggling to find the faith you know you have in there. I can see myself there, sitting at a read light on my way back to the dorm one night from the barn. Looking out at the night lights blaring this song. Letting it permeate and feeling it because there was no avoiding it.

That last part makes me all the more appreciative of where I am now. I still do not have many answers, but I am much closer to them now than I was then. AHAmoment.

Does a song ever do that to you? Just me? Tap, tap. Anyone still there?

Got to spend time today with a great friend from that simpler time in my life. It was so great to catch up in person for the first time in years. It was good for the soul.

Walk in love, dear readers.

Country Bound

As most of you know, I spend at least a few hours out in the country every weekend. There are many reasons for this, but it is mainly because, well, I need it. My soul needs it. It is where I feel most at home. Where I want to end up one day.

Thanks to Brent Cobb for posting this on his YouTube, for recording it, and to his Dad and Uncle for writing it.

This may be a dramatic statement to some, but this song is how I feel sometimes. Maybe more than just sometimes. Also, the whole John Denver combined with Robert Ellis vibe? Wow. I almost can not handle it.

It is necessary for me to unplug and get away. If I do not do this, I lose my sight and focus. I get anxious. What is it that they say? Lose the forest for the trees? Or the sun for the rays? I do not know why I am this way, I just am. Sometimes, I need it more than just once a week.

At the end of last week, I was struggling to get anything finished. You know when that happens? You have a lot to do and you find yourself just staring at it? Like hello, get going, move it! This happens to me more and more it seems. AHAmoment. This just occurred to me. I might start giving myself deadlines. Anyway, that is a story for another day. I was more than ready to get out of town and recharge.

The point is, when I do, I am able to see, hear, feel, and truly experience things like this. For what it is. In vivid detail. This is why I need it. My horses are also there. My family is often there. And there is that whole side benefit of, hey all I have to do is get through this week and I get to go to the farm! Oh, am I not supposed to admit that? Oh well. I want to eventually be able to have that every day.

I was walking back from the barn with Niece and Nephew after going to see the horses. I looked up and was amazed watching them walk through the grass off into the sunset. Completely in the moment. There is nothing better for them than this.

Sitting by the pong with my sister, her family, and some friends. Watching the sunset and the boys fish. Sunsets are so spiritual to me. Each moment both different and sacred.

I snapped these of my Bro in law. Fishing is his number one passion, like horses are for me.

A quick video of me riding the best baby horse of all time. Kids, do not video while you ride. Right after this, I dropped my phone. It still works though!

Cuddle time with my main mare.

For all you people with the Monday feels…this is truth. I found this on a friend’s Facebook page. Truth it may be, it can still be hard!

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Great family dinner last night that was good for the soul.

Walk in love, dear readers. Go kick butt today!

 

3 Things

I had a friend tell me that she was feeling blue yesterday after a great weekend and that she did not know if it was because the weekend was over or because of the unknown future. It got me thinking as I have often felt the same way myself and my suggestion was to:


Focus on something good from the weekend (or past), something good right in front of you, and do something fun for yourself tomorrow. Nobody knows the future, so you are not alone!

Too bad I can not seem to do that for myself in those moments, so I think I will do the same thing for myself right now. We all have something to be grateful for even when it is all going up in smoke and hitting the fan. AHAmoment. It also seems like a good idea since I am supposed to be practicing self love and all that. Disclaimer, this may or may not turn into another love fest, and I will make zero apologies for it.

  1. Something good from the weekend.
    I rode 3 amazing horses.
    Saturday I took Second Chance, Chance on a road ride with some long time friends. It was terribly HOT. Like sweating at 8 in the morning hot. He was amazing even though he made some ugly faces at some other horses. It was quite comical, really.  I also got compliments on his butt. It is pretty big. I really need to show you what he used to look like. I love how he shines like a penny even when he is a woolly bear.

    Sunday morning I rode the my best gal, Cheetah. We did some arena work with transitions and ground poles before going down in the pastures to check the cows and let her really open up and stretch her legs. I did not get any photos because I was having too much fun. I finished out the morning doing some chores and unpacking the trailer. Then, my parents (the most amazing parents ever) met me for lunch at a nearby town on their way home from out of town and then came back to the farm so I could ride my Lito. I could not ask for better parents or a better colt. Seriously. This horse. I think it was his 10th ride or so and the first ride in a couple months. He was AMAZING. He was much more forward and fluid than he has been. That was a little bit of a worry for me. It reminds me to stay the course and do not lose heart. He is still learning. AHAmoment. He is just so easy, brave, and keeps getting better…and taller. I will stop before I explode.
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  2. Something good in front of me from today.
    My dog is tired and happy from running at the farm and my boss told me she was proud of my work. Boom. Enough said.
  3. Something fun for myself tomorrow.
    My bible study is having a Valentines party as our class. Thank goodness because I do not like Valentines Day!

Pretty dang good at present. Certainly can not complain.

What are your 3 things? Something good from the weekend (or past), something good in front of you today, and something fun for yourself tomorrow?

Walk in love, dear readers!