Someone might actually be filling out a little bit.
Which, ha, thank goodness. I was beginning to wonder if my AHA moments were going to come back. They have been seeming a little few and far between in life these days. BUT, not to worry, they are still there! I just have to write them down again!
Do you remember the heart in the tree I told you about?Look closely there. From here it looks like there are actually two hearts. The heart has been there since the tree was planted and has persisted through the seasons.
Anyway, enough about that.
More about this. It is pretty simple, really, and it keeps coming up.
Life is about saying yes. Well, more like YES.
No regrets. Whatsoever. When an opportunity comes your way, say yes. Do it. As trite as it may seem, you really do only live once. Same as everyone else and you do not know what tomorrow will bring. You can cross whatever bridge tomorrow brings tomorrow.
Life is a very fragile thing. That is as apparent to me now as ever.
I was driving the other day and, funny as it does, it occurred to me. I am thirty years old. Ya, ya, ya it is just a number and I still believe that, but that is a third of a life. A third of a lifetime. What? How did that happen? It feels like just yesterday I was still in high school. How many times have I put things off or said no to something for a silly reason? What if it does not come back again?
Things do not always take their time to happen. You do not always see them coming like a West Texas storm off in the distance. The same can be said about the opportunities that come your way or fall in your lap. They will not always be there and you often do not even know they are coming.
Say yes.
Take the trip. Do what makes you happy. Ride the horse even if it is raining. Make the time and take the time, it is yours. Be with the person or people that make your heart smile. Sing the song out loud. Eat the cake. Whatever it may be. Stay hungry. Keep seeking and striving. Finish your business.
Do not put things off any more.
Make a decision and go with it.
Act.
Say yes!
This year and especially this summer for me is about saying yes. Tomorrow, things could change and a lot of that is out of my control. I can not hold on tight and make things stay. I have to let go so my heart will remain open.
The scenery around here is going to look a little different here pretty soon over the next couple of months and y’all are going to be seeing some new things.
But, alas, you are going to have to check back here later to find out! You’re going to like it, I can tell you that, and I am excited to bring each of you along.
This world has a lot of sayings, many that are often misunderstood. Have you ever heard the one about when it rains?
Something about it pouring?
Ya. I have heard that too. When it rains, it pours. A lot actually. I even use the phrase myself, lightly and in passing, never really giving it much thought. It has a whole new meaning to me now.
It truly is a shame that sometimes, as in right now, my life can not be like a music video. At least there would be some laughing matter.
Yes indeed, something quite like this. This looks lovely, would not you say? Kinda funny.
However, in my particular case these days, when it rains…..
It pours…
Sorry, I am not really sorry. I do not know how to even say it without trying to make light while my heart is in my throat choking me.
This is my reality. Part of the ‘whole lotta life‘ I have been living. A curve ball so far out of left field, it came from the right, just as the fast ball barreled through the heart of home plate.
I can’t believe I am having to write this. Never did I ever think in a million years this would happen.
I have some not so good news to share. The worst possible kind.
My sweet and innocent Darcy girl. Not even six years old.
It is quite advanced and pervasive. Between ultrasound and test results, her current status and lack of appetite, my own research, and separate vet opinions, there is not a viable treatment option.
I am completely gutted. It has taken us by storm, the likes of which I have never before known. Not like a slow creeping hurricane. It feels more than rude and unfair. Human life is hard enough on its own without making the animal lives hard.
I could go on in this manner, and admittedly I have had those moments (completely broke down while driving and again on a restaurant patio with my mom), but we must be strong and positive for her. View the world and live life the way she does. Give her the best of the best. Keep playing. We have not struck out in the game of life.
So.
We celebrate the life we have, every day, and take each day as it comes. I am going to do everything I can to give her the best quality of life possible until it is her time. She can eat whatever she wants to eat, healthy diet out the window. She is going to go with me everywhere possible. We are going to have as much farm time as I can manage. We find a reason (and there are many) to sing a song through it all.
All the prayers, positive thoughts and vibes would be greatly appreciated by us both.
I do not understand this and I do not think I ever will.
Such a happy dog that brings endless joy to every being she encounters. So much greatness must be shared. Her spirit must have a greater calling.
If you have any tried and true proven ways to keep a dog eating, lay them on me. I need more tricks up my sleeve.
There is a life lesson somewhere in here. I am just working on unpacking it.
Walk in love, dear readers, even when it is dang hard. I am taking my time.
Yes, I know that is a sunset picture, but I like it and it makes my heart smile. So there.
Anyway, today is Tuesday. Tune Tuesday. So, tune in.
“So take what you got and do something with it
Don’t waste your money on cocaine and whippets
And watch what you say at the end of the day
You get less for your dollar and more heck to pay
Well my grandpa said
Living and dead
Are only a heart beat apart”
Do not be afraid. Fear, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant, is no way to solve a problem or live a life.
Know what is in your heart and have faith. Stand your ground against the dark and fight for what you know is true. Pray about it and then let it go.
It is not about how much faith or having enough faith. Faith alone. Period. A drop of faith is all you need. An ounce. Or, rather, a mustard seed.
When the wolves bring in the darkness, stand up and stand your ground against it. What may seem small at the time will soon grow beyond. Have faith, pray, let it go. Be patient. Be a support to others in addition to yourself. It will all come together. You will see.
“The howlin’ moon would cry
I’d sleep the sun away
I was just a child
I knew I was afraid
There was nothin’ to gain, I found
By runnin’ the other way
I had to stand my ground
And keep the wolves at bay”
Do not say it too terribly loud though. Or play the music too loud. Or dance too much. Or drink too much bubbly, even if it is Wine Wednesday (I may or may not be imbibing at this very moment). We do not want to scare it off. I do not think any of us can handle that, but I think it is safe to say we can celebrate a little and I am celebrating spring today. Remember there is always something to celebrate every day! You will know when it is time to turn the celebration up.
I almost can not believe it. It feels like just yesterday I was writing to you about the beginning of fall. The past several months have left me stunned with wind burned cheeks and windswept hair from the time speeding past me. I have entered a new season in my life apparently, but that is a story for another day. A whole other pot of thoughts to stir around.
Anyway. Back to spring because that is what we are celebrating today.
The time has changed back. Do you know what that means?
You think I am kidding? This is no laughing matter. Ask any horse person. Well any horse person without arena lights. This means MORE RIDING TIME. Seriously. I can actually go out to the farm after work and have time to ride! I could start jumping up and down this minute at the very thought.
The horses are starting to shed. All of them. Not just the early ones. All of them. I can see it now.
Horse hair everywhere.
We have had the showers. For months actually, but we do not need to go on about that any more than I already have. You know what they say. Showers bring flowers.
Which brings me to…Wildflowers. They are coming out to play and things are getting green!
It is actually rainy today, but that is not raining on my parade today.
Spring, it is coming! Go smile and have some bubbly and celebrate.
Walk in love, dear readers! You made it through hump day!
“After all these years I find it strange how much time it takes to keep things the same”
~Eric Middleton & Adam Hood
Have you ever thought about how much time we spend trying to keep things from changing? Really and truly thought about it? I bet it is more than you would want to admit.
As a historically more than moderate change averse person, I know I have spent quite a bit of time trying to keep things the same. I do not even realize I am doing it most of the time. I have worked hard and am admittedly still working hard (always will probably) to not stand in the way of change and worked to accept its roll in my journey.
The thing about it is, life is about change. I have heard it said, “if you are not changing, you are dying.” I think there is a lot of truth to that statement. As much as we what everything to stay the same, change is the natural progression of our lives. The world is constantly changing whether we like it or not. We can stand there and let the world pass us by, or we can walk our path here and let the chips fall where they may. The choice is ours. Have the faith to trust that it is all worked out.
You know what? On days like today, I wish more than I normally do that my office chair was the back of my horse.
Any horse at this point, really, and not just because I have done such little riding lately that I am actually beginning to literally twitch involuntarily. I am sure my eyes have begun to bug out of my head and the people around me will start looking at me all funny like.
“We will sing, to our souls
We won’t bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There’s a red sea road
When we can’t, see the way
He will part the waves
And we’ll never walk alone
Down a red sea road”
Anyway. Everyone has days like this every now and then.
I am sitting here on my couch with a glass of wine on the side table next to me, a cozy blanket that was a gift to me draped over the arm of the couch, and my little laptop resting in my lap. My townhouse keeps making noises that make me wonder if I have a long lost roommate upstairs. My television intermittently plays a show I have already seen in the background.
Why intermittently you ask? Good question. I do not have an answer for you on that one. My TV and/or internet appear to be a slightly emotional beings at best and more often than not, I spend more time watching a spinning wheel than any actual entertainment. The wonders of today’s modern connectivity, I tell you.
It is no matter to me at the present moment though. I do not really have it in me to pay close attention. Today was a bit of a sour day and it put that taste right into my mouth. I sure did not like the taste so I went to a dance workout class with R and her sister after work to try and shake it all out. It did a decent enough job at that.
Nothing like this would have done, but it was the next best thing I had.
Today was a day for practicing relearning how to be like a duck in the rain, so to speak. To let that rain just bead up and fall right off you. You know how I have told you before. Yes, yes. That little life tidbit wrapped up in an AHA moment. About how manure rolls downhill. Yes, just like that. I will be firmly upright and uphill tomorrow. Maybe one of these days that lesson will stick in my own brain.
“Paths are there for us to follow, this is gospel I believe
Angels are around us flying, truth and mercy to receive
Pictures of uncommon nature, painted by a masters hand
Draw me ever on life’s journey, rendered thus to understand
As a songbird that is fallen, only to regain the sky
From this frozen shadow valley, lay my sweary head
Love is from no distance calling, faithful as the rising sun
Warms the bitter heart and heartache, till the east of Eden’s gone
Clouds of fear and misconception, wax and wane as if the moon
So is in a sense forsaken, till the will of God be known
As a songbird that is fallen, only to regain the sky
From this frozen shadow valley, lay my sweary head”
~Bob Neuwirth / Henry Burnett
I long for more daylight hours with ground that is more than just a slip ‘n slide. To have the time to thoroughly groom my horse and not be in a rush.
“The sounds of the valley seem to reach me within. It plays on my heart like an old violin. At the end of the day I just can’t wait for it to play.”
