When It Rains

This world has a lot of sayings, many that are often misunderstood. Have you ever heard the one about when it rains?

Something about it pouring?

Ya. I have heard that too. When it rains, it pours. A lot actually. I even use the phrase myself, lightly and in passing, never really giving it much thought. It has a whole new meaning to me now.

It truly is a shame that sometimes, as in right now, my life can not be like a music video. At least there would be some laughing matter.

Yes indeed, something quite like this. This looks lovely, would not you say? Kinda funny.

However, in my particular case these days, when it rains…..

It pours…

Screen-Shot-2017-08-04-at-12.42.57-796x427

Sorry, I am not really sorry. I do not know how to even say it without trying to make light while my heart is in my throat choking me.

This is my reality. Part of the ‘whole lotta life‘ I have been living. A curve ball so far out of left field, it came from the right, just as the fast ball barreled through the heart of home plate.

I can’t believe I am having to write this. Never did I ever think in a million years this would happen.

I have some not so good news to share. The worst possible kind.

The silent kind.

My Darcy has been diagnosed with cancer.

giphy.gif

What the literal heck fire on God’s green earth?!

My sweet and innocent Darcy girl. Not even six years old.

It is quite advanced and pervasive. Between ultrasound and test results, her current status and lack of appetite, my own research, and separate vet opinions, there is not a viable treatment option.

I am completely gutted. It has taken us by storm, the likes of which I have never before known. Not like a slow creeping hurricane. It feels more than rude and unfair. Human life is hard enough on its own without making the animal lives hard.

I could go on in this manner, and admittedly I have had those moments (completely broke down while driving and again on a restaurant patio with my mom), but we must be strong and positive for her. View the world and live life the way she does. Give her the best of the best. Keep playing. We have not struck out in the game of life.

So.

We celebrate the life we have, every day, and take each day as it comes. I am going to do everything I can to give her the best quality of life possible until it is her time. She can eat whatever she wants to eat, healthy diet out the window. She is going to go with me everywhere possible. We are going to have as much farm time as I can manage. We find a reason (and there are many) to sing a song through it all.

All the prayers, positive thoughts and vibes would be greatly appreciated by us both.

I do not understand this and I do not think I ever will.

Such a happy dog that brings endless joy to every being she encounters. So much greatness must be shared. Her spirit must have a greater calling.

If you have any tried and true proven ways to keep a dog eating, lay them on me. I need more tricks up my sleeve.

There is a life lesson somewhere in here. I am just working on unpacking it.

Walk in love, dear readers, even when it is dang hard. I am taking my time.

 

 

Just Ride

Just ride.

Just another one of those speaking of which moments.


“MY LACK OF THOUGHTS YESTERDAY GOT ME THINKING ABOUT THINKING.
THINKING TOO MUCH CAN BE COUNTER PRODUCTIVE.
SOMETIMES IT IS GOOD TO CLEAR YOUR MIND OF THOUGHTS, RELAX, LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT AND JUST RIDE. IT IS AMAZING HOW MANY THINGS CAN JUST FALL INTO PLACE WHEN YOU DO THIS.”
IAN LEIGHTON

Several years ago, I was riding a young, long legged sorrel horse for a friend who did not have the time to work him. He was at the time that I started riding him, lightly started under saddle. He knew how to go, turn, and stop, mostly, and had not been ridden outside of the round pen very much. I had been riding him for a good little while and he was making some good progress on most things. Teaching him his leads was hard for him for some reason or another and keeping them from becoming an issue or a complex for him was a little bit of work. Eventually he seemed to have them figured out. Or so it would have seemed.

One particular windy day in a busy arena, he apparently forgot the whole left and right lead concept. We had all the pieces seemingly snugly in his brain, but he just could not, on that day, put them together. Or I could not. We both started to get a little flustered at the situation when my friend and owner of the horse spoke out, “Just get his hip, keep the shoulder, and ask him again. Just ride.” A voice of reason when I could not seem to find my own. It was just what we needed to pick up the correct lead. The colt powered away, unsure of whether or not he had done the correct thing and again, my friend’s voice came to me, “Just ride, sit down and just ride. Let him come back.”

Both in life and horses, you just need to ride it out sometimes.

Make a mistake? Just ride. Ask and try again.

Road get a little bumpy? Just ride till it gets smooth.

Life changing? Just ride and let it. Don’t stand in the way.

Storm on the horizon? Have faith and just ride. Storms never last.

Rain, winter, and a busy schedule keep you from riding as much as you normally do? Just look up, ride through, and remember, this too shall pass.


“When life gives a hard blow, focus on riding though. No different than when a young colt takes off. Don’t panic and stop him. Buckle down, lift, and ride through the storm with your eyes ahead. Pain and fear are always temporary before the good feelings come back. They always do no matter how broken you feel in that moment. And if you’re like me, horses usually answer many of life’s biggest questions.”
Lucia Clemetson

10644425_10154575373980527_2845001609214138234_o (1)
Walk in love, dear readers, and just ride. Happy Friday!

Sprinkler

I have a steaming mug of coffee in my hands and my Darcy dog is curled up at my feet. Her head resting on my slippered foot, her breathing steady and rhythmic as she takes her early morning nap.

I have the news on the television, but I am not listening. I commonly find myself not listening to the news without thinking about it. It must be a subconscious defense mechanism.

It is almost time for me to get ready for work, but here I sit, indulging in a few more sips of coffee.

Listening to the sprinkler tap tap tap on my front door and window, transporting me to another time and place. A covered front porch somewhere out in the country during a summer storm. The kind of storm where you can see them build for miles before they let go. The kind you can smell long before they let go. I would be sitting there in very much the same fashion I am now, in my pajamas, my pup at my feet, and a steaming mug of coffee in my hands. Listening, watching, feeling. Being still and quiet.

Reliving a great ride I had on Lito with a friend on Sunday. Enjoy this little snippet of it if you will. He still not quite 100% himself, but he is getting there. Time. All it takes is time and consistency.

And just like that, the moment is shattered like glass on a tile floor as Darcy wakes and retreats to her bed. How does she know it is time to get ready for work?

I will take a sprinkler for today. Amazing what a sprinkler can do. Transport you and turn your little patch of grass into a luscious, green lawn. Quite like an actual storm. Quite a feet for such a little thing.

I think I need to ride more.

Walk in love, dear readers!

What Day Is It Today?

I turned on the news for the first time in five days on Tuesday before I went to work (for the first time in over a week). First report was of Hurricane Irma. I had to directly change the channel. Just the thought of it was sickening to me. Golden Girls it was. Or was it I Love Lucy? I can not even remember. There is not much on the TV before 7 AM (OK fine, I love both of those shows, leave me alone) and I still do not know what day it is. Funny how that happens. How you can’t remember the days and what has happened or when. It just gets intertwined like a bouncing rubber band ball and you can’t tell where one begins and another ends.

To be perfectly honest, the five days ‘away’ from the continuing disaster that is the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey was necessary for my well being in more ways than one.

The craziest thing about it is that I feel like I should not feel this way. This battered and exhausted and, well, emotional about it. I think this is what one would call survivor’s guilt? I had never even heard that term until a few days ago. My family and I have been incredibly blessed through this whole ordeal.

My family, my animals, and our houses are all fine. My friends and their animals are safe. That is the most important thing. The horse barn got a little flooded, we lost a little bit of feed, and our fences were ripped out (…again…). The floor of the feed room will be replaced and everything else will dry or can be replaced.

To say it came out of nowhere would be inaccurate. We knew it was coming. We knew it was going to be bad. We prepared.

But it was worse.

Hurricane Harvey quickly beefed up and became a category 4 right before his big, debut entrance (if you did not know, he made two landfalls…crazy, right?). And to say that Harvey did anything but dump rain quickly is quite comical. I might venture to say that it was the slowest moving storm in history. Harvey slammed the coast and creeped his way north and stalled. FOREVER. Impossible to anticipate what will happen at this point. Dumping quite literally, buckets of rain over more than, oh, I dunno, and area of twenty counties? Big cities and small towns alike. Not just Houston. In some areas, reports are upwards of 50 inches. Cough. You read that right. That is more than the projected 30 inches. With all this concrete, where is that water supposed to go?

Going through a storm like this felt somewhat like what a war might feel like. Getting slammed with rain for days, quite literally. It did not stop. Sleep impossible. Anxiety and fear rising with the water from all directions. The water seemed to rise faster than it came out of the sky. Many were scared for their lives and could not go anywhere. Many lost their lives. Many had to be rescued in a boat, everything they have worked their whole lives for lost, clutching to loved ones and the few treasured possessions they could carry. They now have nowhere to go.

The storm hit our area Friday evening and had no mercy.

Come Saturday, R realized she needed to leave her house, but quickly realized she had no way out of her neighborhood. She spent the next 24 hours staging her house to try and save as much of her stuff as possible, knowing she was bound to have water in her house soon. She had water in her house and rising Sunday morning. By Sunday evening she helped put out a neighbor’s house fire and hitched a ride out of there on a boat with her cat. Talk about a story for your grandkids!

My God Parents flooded. My God Mother’s parents flooded. My sister’s God Father flooded, had to walk out in chest deep water, and be taken out by boat. Several long time family friends flooded.

Darcy and I rode out the storm with my Parents at their house. Watching the news was harrowing. Just harrowing. We made ourselves take brakes from watching it to play cards or watch a movie to take our minds off it. Constantly checking the radar to see where the bands were, here or at the farm? Checking the river gauges to try and determine how the river was rising and how it would crest. Literally getting up in the middle of the night to see where the water was on the back patio and then checking my phone again to see how the farm was faring. Getting calls and messages from friends who were flooding or hauling their animals to safety and no way to get to them to help. The complete and utter helplessness of not being with my horses at the farm. I knew they were in high ground and would be safe because our neighbor made sure of it, but my mind went wild with worst case scenarios.

We tried to get to the farm on Monday. We got half way there and had to get creative with ways to try and get around the water. Mother Nature is more creative than us though and we had to turn around and come home. We didn’t try again until Wednesday. We got within sight of the front gate but could not cross the water in the low spot of the road. Our nighbor informed us that his friend went up in a plane to do a flyover of a few properties and reported our house and animals high and dry. While it really wasn’t enough details for me, it was the only thing keeping me going at this point. Dejected, Dad and I headed home.

The next day gifted sweet, sweet success and a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders. I was able to get in and see my horses and cows. I almost cried. The next five days I spent cleaning up, fighting mosquitos, waiting for everything to dry up, and thanking the Lord for His many blessings.

Here is something bigger than the storm, though.

All throughout the storm, people kept showing up to save people and animals and then turning around to help clean up the damage left behind. People helping people. Not because they want recognition or get anything out of it, but because it is what needs to be done and they need it. People sacrificing their lives for another. Comfort and love spreading faster than the water. Sensationally and overwhelmingly heartwarming. Outshining the hurt and devastation. The hate of the outside world being washed away with the flood waters.

So very Texas. That is part of what makes this place so great. This is what I will remember most from this hurricane named Harv.


Go hug your people and your animals. I am exhausted, but happy to be on the other side of this cleaning up. It will be a long time before we are finished with Harvey, but everything will be right as rain in no time.

Too soon? Sorry.

Walk in love, dear readers and go say a prayer for all in Irma’s path!

Do What You Gotta Do

I made a quick trip out to the farm yesterday after work to fit in a ride and check on things. I even got to see the sunset as I left. A great thing under any circumstance, even this one.

Hurricane Harvey is headed this way and we are expected to get more than a bucket load of rain. And wind probably. Probably a lot of wind. Hopefully not more than that, but there are some reports using some very big and strong words. There is still a lot of time between now and when it gets here (I say that, 24 hours now), but it is going to be a lot of something. Only time will tell how much and how bad.

But, in the mean time, I had to get a ride in since I knew I would likely not be able to this weekend. Hey, a girl has to to what a girl has to do. All three of us in this case. Nothing like a good bareback ride to put your mind at ease, even if just for a time. Certainly helps that my Cheetah girl was amazing.

 

 


img_5820.jpg
img_5830.jpg

This is how we wait for storms here in Texas. Try to stay calm and be ready to act when need be. It does not matter that I am used to this, having been born and raised here. I have been through many hurricanes and my family many more than me. Some bad and some not so bad. I still worry. I am a worrier. Mostly for the horses since I do not live where they are. Then there is the whole wind and flooding and falling trees thing. Possible tornadoes. Loss of power. Water.

Just got to ride it out. Leg on.

What? Nobody else says that? Oh, well, you get the gist.

 

No need to worry for not. What is going to be will be. We do need the rain.

Say a little prayer for this southern part of Texas, will you?

Walk in love! More news to come as I have it!