On Today’s Episode…

…of the Thursday rando rambles…

Your favorite, I know. It is hitting me hard today. This whole week really.

I am sitting here on my couch watching trash reality television while sipping a cocktail. I have an odd love of bad TV. It is like literal arrested development. I wish Sister K was hear to watch with me. She likes to watch the same shows.

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I wish my horses were closer. I need this.

Or a ride. Or both. The struggle is real over here. I am regretting not riding last weekend.

It has been a long day at work in an oddly long feeling, but technically short week.

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I live close to a high school and I can hear the announcer’s calls on the football game. Takes me back to college.

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There are also a lot of cicadas here where I live. This is not a foreign thing to me, I am used to these bugs. But seriously, there are a large number of them here. Much more than anywhere else I have ever been and they are as loud as the football announcer. It makes for quite the symphony.

I have poison ivy on my right arm. It itches. I do not even really know where or how I got it. Woowee. I do not recommend that one.

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One of the football teams just scored.

Darcy is nestled into her bed being antisocial.

Is it Friday yet?

Anyone else?

No?

Sigh.

All very profound, I know.

Walk in love, dear readers.

Breakfast For Dinner

And other serious, important topics.

I got home from an after work chat and glass of wine at Grandparent’s house with zero plans for dinner.

Figuring I would, you know, figure that out later, I poured myself another glass of wine, opened my computer, and set to planing the last details of my vacation in France.

Feeling like it was already next week, dreamily across the pond in France, I looked up and there was no French dinner fairy and no French dinner. Sigh. What to do.

Too bad I can not have a late night croissant for dinner. Wine and croissant. I mean, when in France, right.

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Imagine that as a croissant. Honestly though, carbs…I like them, so a baguette would be nice to.

I put my computer aside and started the Texas version of breakfast for dinner. Well, half-of-the-best-Texas-breakfast-for-dinner-I-could-do-with-what-I-had anyway. Pancakes, bacon, and wine. That would have to do.

When in Texas and about to be in France, right?

I was going to write somewhat or something about such topics as serious as independence or heaven, but that was all just WAY too serious and required too much focus. Especially when dreaming about France. I have always loved breakfast for dinner anyway. Not just when dreaming about France. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.

Just your average, random Thursday night.

Back to France. I will have a short 24 hours in Paris while I am there. If you have been, what are your top things to do there? Things you would not want to miss. I need opinions!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Tidbits Part Two

Really, just because the last one was so fun. Here is a little more. And because it is Friday and that means the weekend!

  1. I prefer animals to most people. They are just honest and pure. Their intentions are clear and they do not have expectations.

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  2. My dog, Darcy, sleeps on the bed with me. She has her own sheet to contain the dog hair. She is not however, allowed on the other furniture. Boundaries, man.
  3. Even though I do not wear makeup all the time, I actually really do enjoy putting it on and the finished product. I am just lazy and it hurts my eyes after a while.
  4. I do laundry when I run out of clean boot socks. Priorities. That also means I do mountains of laundry at the same time. It is exhausting.

  5. I have a friend I met in college that thinks it is weird that I do my own laundry. I am still not sure what this means about me. I chalk it up to the fact that we are really different from each other. If we were any more different, we would me more alike. I love that.
  6. My sisters once locked me in a dog crate. It was rude and funny.
  7. I thought about being a graphic designer, an architect, or a landscape architect before I settled on geology in school.
  8. I have used to have a very strange fear of getting stuck in cars. Like stuck in the mud. Strange, I know. This is inexplicable to both me and my father.
  9. I used to wear reading glasses and I probably still should. I have an eye that moves faster than the other. I still to this day use guides for my eyes when I read, otherwise I lose my place.

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  10. I was never really into most Disney movies growing up. If it wasn’t a horse or dog movie, I did not really care about it. My friends find this odd.
  11. I sometimes dream about just driving past my office and just rolling down the road. Just not show up one day. I did that in high school too. I never could get up the nerve to just do it though.
  12. I like to Sunday drive every day of the week. It appears that this makes many other drivers, apparently in a rush, angry. I get sped around often. My eldest sister tells me I drive like an old person. What can I say, I am an old soul.

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  13. I like to drink Coca-cola with lime.
  14. I am minus an appendix and four wisdom teeth. Why do they call them wisdom teeth? Speaking of teeth, three of our horses got their teeth floated today. Also, having had surgery, I really do not understand why people elect to have surgery for non health related reasons.
  15. I did not start drinking coffee until I was in my last year of undergrad. Speaking of coffee, I think I will have another cup. Why not, it is Friday after all.

Have a great day and walk in love, dear readers!

Waffling

On Monday I dropped my phone, again, and rendered it basically useless. It was time for a new one anyway.

So, yesterday, I went out during my lunch hour to get a new phone. It took longer than an hour if you want to know. The sales attendant and the phone itself made me feel dumb. I also had zero contacts or settings because the man told me I could not have them. “I do not understand, that has never been an issue before. I have never had to pay to access my information. I have always walked out of here with a fully functioning, loaded phone.” I am sorry, the man said with a chuckle, there is no other way. You have to be on the cloud and pay for space. There is no other way. He shook his head at me. Then he kept trying to sell me stuff I do not need. Rude. I was bewildered.

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I spent an exorbitant amount of time trying to set up a phone that would not let me log into anything or do anything. Angry, I reset the phone and started the set up from the beginning. I logged in and, like a gift, there was all of my information. So much for that guy at the store. Maybe I should quit my day job? No, just kidding.

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Then I went to play dominoes with some friends after work and all was well with the world.

Today is Wednesday and I am hungry. This fasting thing is hard work! Brings a whold new meaning and feeling to intentional prayer.

When I am hungry, I get even more random than normal, if that was even possible. Which I am sure you can tell if you have read this far.

My research thesis professor in college, a Scotsman, used to tell me to stop waffling in my writing. Just get to it and say it and move on to the next point. Well I can waffle all I want to now. Take that. Aren’t you glad?

Speaking of waffles, I love waffles. And bacon. And maple syrup. And basically anything you can put maple syrup on.

Anyone want to go grocery shopping?

This is going to be a long day!

I have not taken any pictures in practically 2 weeks. Which is odd. I rode Lito on Saturday with a trail riding group that I am in. It was cold and wet, but it was a pretty good day. Lito was a bit jumpy which was odd. I did not have any other horses there and it has been a little while since I have hauled him by himself. I also did not ride him the weekend before because we had family in town for the service. I guess all of that and the weather explains most of his behavior. By the end of the day he was pretty lined out and it was a lovely day, even with the weather. I was still happy with him and glad I got him out in those conditions.

Today it is again cold and wet. Last I checked, it is going to be wet this weekend. It will definitely be muddy! We shall see if I can get some riding in. We all need it!

Come on Friday! And spring!

Walk in love, dear readers!

The Rando Rambles

Alternately titled…Avery’s Brain Activity In GIFs.

I have a case of the Tuesday random rambles.

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I can not focus worth a flip.

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Too excited and jittery to sit still.

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I want hot chocolate.

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Why, you ask? Because it looks wintery outside.

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Oh, lawd. Not THAT wintery. Not even close. Please don’t let it ever look that wintery here. The world would end.

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Darcy had a vet appointment after work for routine stuff.

*Insert imaginary, really cute photo of Darcy because I forgot to take one*

The early passing of musical great, Tom Petty, makes me immensely sad. And yes, I have been listening to him all day. An inspiration to many. Makes me think about all the other musical greats that left this earthly realm too soon. That Angel Band, man, it sure will be something to hear.

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All the finger pointing and hate (in all directions) in the wake of this tragedy also makes me sad. 

No GIF for that. I will not justify it with that.

But.

You know what I will do? Leave this here for y’all. And pray for them. 


“Pointed fingers must be ware”

And, uh, this because how can I not?

The one thing I can focus on though, is my trip.

Bazinga. Back to being jittery and exited again.

Just a few more days. How will I make it?! So ready to get out of Dodge. 

Walk. In. Love.

Walk.

In.

LOVE.

 

 

Sorry, Not Sorry.

Today I am straight up giddy with the prospect of fall and winter.

Why does it seem like I only ever write about weather lately?

Anyway, slightly, or not so as established above, random, I know. And before you ask, yes, I am aware that it is not even October yet. But a girl can get excited. We are almost there.

Here is what I am ready for:

Holidays, duh. Even if this year will be hard.

Sitting around a fire wearing a sweater. I love sweaters. I love fire. Throw in a cocktail, some great music and people and you got it made.

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Baking and cooking and holiday cocktails and getting crafty with my family. And, and, AND!

Frosty mornings with fuzzy horses. Although, I pray not too frosty and cold. Old horses and hard winters are tough. Last winter was pretty bad.

And, dare I say. Christmas and Christmas music and Hallmark Thanksgiving and Christmas movies and Christmas decorations!!! And family time. And food. Man, we have the best Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts. My mouth is watering.

Shhhh. I know.

You are thinking that I am crazy and that we are far off from that and hey, don’t forget Thanksgiving. Nope. Not crazy, just excited for one of my favorite times of year. And I never forget about Thanksgiving. They go together. It is the season and spirit of thanks and giving.

Do not you worry, I won’t play a Christmas song now. Even if I did think about. OK fine, I am only not playing it because I can’t find a good video of it.

Sorry, not sorry. People are already starting to decorate for fall!

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a great weekend!

I will be riding and organizing for my trip this weekend…and dreaming of cooler weather. Interestingly enough, we will have slightly cooler weather this weekend.

Screaming Mare

Quiet woman, screaming mare. Exciting sounding, right?

Well, it is not as exciting as this, which is where we eventually ended up, thankfully…


Many life lessons can be learned from the horse. I was reminded of one on Saturday:

Sometimes it pays to walk away from something for a little, go do something else, and come back later. It is not giving up or quitting. AHAmoment.

I woke up early as per usual to get going before the heat. All was serene and quiet on the farm, including Cheetah. A very pretty morning, honestly. Well, that is what I get for thinking.

It became very clear shortly after mounting we were going to be spending almost the entirety of the ride convincing her to walk. Just walk. And not lose her mind. Would not have been able to even think about stopping enjoying the scenery. Or smell roses. If there had been roses. Clearly just her running thoroughbred side is the only side that showed up to play.

She was literally SCREAMING the whole time. Lito, of course, innocent little man he is, answered in kind every time. Thanks, buddy. Let us not do that next time. Scratch that out of your book of life.

Anyway, after about an hour of consciously not reacting to her antics and a pool full of sweat (hey at least I have a horse that sweats, right?), we were walking without trying to run and scream. I decided to hop off, loosen her girth, and tie her up for a while. I went to take care of a few other things. Give us both a little time to cool off and relax.

I came back a little while later and mounted back up for a quick walk loop around the farm to see if she would be any better.

And? She was a completely different horse. Back to being my best mare.

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It is amazing how quick the switch can flip. Now, do not you say any quick witted comments about women. We know how we can be, OK?

The point is, sometimes things can just be off, for any one reason or another. If a change in approach in the moment doesn’t help, take a break. Let it sit for a while. Take a breath. Get centered. Then come back and try again. Sometimes powering through is the answer, but on Saturday it just didn’t feel that way. And, we didn’t have to. We had the option to take a break and try again. Which paid off handsomely.

Have you ever noticed that?

Happy Monday!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Happy Day

Happy day, dear readers! Happy hump day!

One must read that with a certain determination for cheeryness. Yes that is a word. Because I say so.

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Today is a bit of a post vacation fog. Today. Who am I kidding. All week I have been this way. Foggy, foggy brain. I was finally able to wake up at my normal time, but I am downing two mugs of coffee like they are going to be my last with little effect. I mean. It is not like I traveled to a different country or anything. Just to Colorado. One time zone over.

I am powering through though. That is all one can do, right?! Power through and make it happy. It is a choice! AHAmoment. Make it a happy day. Ride on and add more leg, as it were. Keep casting. Keep knocking. Whatever analogy you want!

Praying for rain over here and waiting for Friday. Riding and chores at the farm in the rain sounds pretty good to break the heat. Bring it on.

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I have been doing a lot of watering since my return.

If the rain holds off (please don’t), I might haul to ride with a friend. We shall see!

I do get to see my ponies today after work! A nice mid week respite, however quick. Farrier is coming tomorrow and I need to get all the horses up for him.

That is about as exciting as a Wednesday can get.

Settle down now! I know you are jealous.

Walk in love, dear readers! Do something fun for yourself today.

Just A Few Of My Favorite Things.

Yes, like The Sound of Music! Don’t worry, I won’t start singing.

After a great vacation, I am ready to get back home and to a few of my favorite things.

In no particular order…

My dog. That was step number one. No hesitation. I stepped off the plane, took a big breath of Texas air (so glad that I didn’t loose my cookies on that turbulent flight), and headed straight to R’s house to retrieve my dog. I was very glad to have a key to her house and not have to wait for her to get off work. Darcy gives the best welcome home and stuck to me like glue for a good 24 hours after I picked her up. Dogs are the greatest. Seriously. Always happy and joyful. I don’t see how people can’t love dogs. Thank you Lord for dogs!

My bed. Oh man. You just can not get the same kind of sleep anywhere other than your own bed. Especially with a crick in your neck. Give me my good pillows and mattress back!

My horses. As soon as I could, I booked it out to the farm with Darcy. It was hotter than you know what on Saturday. Like a cruel joke to come back to the hottest day of summer yet. I drove down to where they were grazing under a pecan tree, checked each of them, and then went back to the house to wait out the heat of the day. Once evening rolled around, and I was good and stir crazy after binge watching trash TV, I walked down to the meadow pasture, past the pond, and called to them. Lito Man started walking in immediately, good guy that he is. The other geldings practically rolling their eyes at him. He came right up to me. I will always love him for that. Cheetah, on the other hand, looked at me from afar at first and went back to grazing. There is nothing like the affection of a mare, I tell you. Then she did the greatest thing. She turned around and started trotting…and then loping up to me. No greater feeling in the world. She will always be my girl. If you look closely at the video, you can see her in the background.


I love how Lito is kind of like a dog. A very, very big dog.

Farm sunsets. Ya, no explanation needed here. The mountains were a great respite for me and have always treated me well, but there is nothing like home. It is where your heart is.


Today has been, well, a Monday. I think I need another vacation.

Walk in love, dear readers! I hope y’all had a great weekend and that your week is getting off to a great start!

 

The Path Of Least Resistance

The sun is fierce this morning, y’all. It feels like it is going to be a hot one. But. I am not here to talk about the weather. Even if it might be easier to do.

My creative juices have not been flowing forth as of late if you have not been able to tell. In a funk, if you will. Again. Or still. It is what it is, but I do not have to like it.

It is also scary. Being vulnerable. This whole blog thing. Making it public…what was I thinking!? Woof.

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Someone once said I was brave for starting this blog and sharing my story. I do not feel very brave lately.

I meant to post this last night, but then I got self conscious about it and conveniently ran out of time. What about the other days since I last posted? Shh. I do not know.

I am just going to say it. Part of this funk leaves me feeling alone. There, I said it. It is true. There is more to it than that, like vocation, desires, future, faithfully waiting that all plays its roll in the bigger picture of the feeling. Blah, blah, blah.

But here is the thing.

There are times when I think it might be easier to not be me. Did a bomb just go off? Very brief, short times, but still very present. Easier to change what might be different about me and be like ‘everyone else.’ Be more accepted. Whatever all that means.

I might fit in more. Who cares? Did I ever care about that? I am not sure I really do.

Have more friends. Do I need more friends? I have never been one to have a huge group. Just my close, small group.

Maybe not be single? Eh. I would rather not be in a relationship than be in one where I could not be myself.

That I wouldn’t feel lost in this way. Is lost a strong word for this? I am not sure. No stronger than alone, I guess. No one else seems to be going through this. They are all out living their lives. Aren’t they? Is that not what the book of face and insta prove? Ha! I do not believe any of that for a second.

Not stuck in my head of circular thoughts, unable to still?

I have no way of knowing any of that, but I do not believe it would be easier. Indeed it would be harder. I tried to be someone I wasn’t once. It was terrible. It was in middle school. It sounds silly and trivial, I know, but it is true.

I had a very clear feeling that I was not like everyone else. I was too different. I was outside of the box. I felt like a round peg in a square hole. I liked different things, like going to the farm to ride. I did not care to break rules or do things we were not supposed to do. I was quiet. I related more to older people than kids my own age. I did not care to wear makeup or do my hair or wear nice clothes, much to my mother’s chagrin. I felt lost and I did not know why.

I told myself I was going to change. Be more square. Not talk about horses as much. Talk more. Make more friends. Look like someone I wasn’t. I do not know how long this lasted, but I do not think very long. I felt more lost than ever before. Like a stranger in my own skin. I suppose I made more ‘friends,’ but there were not real. I went back to being me because that was the only thing that felt right. It was easy and not hard.

I have been rather. Um. Restless as of late. Desiring a change and not knowing much more than that. Feeling an outside need for change, greater than my own desire. A greater and grander plan. I can’t see the path yet. I guess that is what seasons of waiting are to feel like. I do not know what it looks like or feels like. I am doing my best to seek Him and be faithful in my waiting. To grow and learn what He needs me to. To see and feel Him seeking me. To pray. Keeping knocking.


“Believe me, the choice that does not involve Him always ends up in a bad and downright disappointing place. It ends up in failure because it’s not the path we are meant to be on. It’s not the truth. Seek Him and you will find the truth.”
~Cory Morrow

Desiring a change in life, or rather, feeling the imminent change (and not knowing what it is) is different than changing who you are. Not being you. AHAmoment.

You were made a certain way for a reason. Divinely and uniquely made. Tailor-made. For a purpose. He has a plan and a path for that plan. The road and the gate are narrow, yet easy to follow when you keep your focus on Him. We like to make things complicated and difficult. Instead, keep it simple. His path is the path of least resistance.

Anyone still there??? Does any of this make sense? No?

Be yourself. Do not change what makes you, you.

Walk in love, dear readers.