Tag: wisdom

Onward & Upward

On By AveryIn Dogs, Faith, Horses, Life, Uncategorized8 Comments

Yes, 2020, you have been a gem so far.

I can not help it with these memes, sorry, I am not sorry. They are just so apt.

Really though, at this point, I want to scratch out ‘2020’ in that first one and put in its place, ‘The Whole Of The Past Twelve Months.’

Well actually, ‘The Whole Of The Past Twelve Months And One Day.’

A year ago yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I had to make that terrible awful decision and actually act on it. My life has not been the same since and I do not think it will ever be the same again, and not just because of that fateful day. 

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

I miss everything about her and us. The words will not even come now, a whole year and a day later. That fateful day I had no choice. None.

That day I had to set my Darcy Girl free from her pain of this earthly realm. There was absolutely nothing else I could do. I had to do it for her. She was not even six years old. That is one of the hardest parts I think. We were supposed to have so much more time.

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last year and a day (and not so much writing). It has been quite a year and it went by in a flash, but lot has happened.

That thing there I mentioned earlier. Choices. Yes, that one. We take that right and privilege for granted. That is one thing I know. Choices and time, that is what I have been thinking a lot about.

A little after Darcy’s day, before traveling all over kingdom come of this country over the summer (hey, I rode horses, caught fish, and got a Merle pup!), I blathered on here on AHAmoments about how life is about saying yes. Not just yes, but YES. Remember that? No? It does not matter, it seems silly in retrospect, but I did. I went on about saying yes to things and people and living what is left of your life because it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment. You know, beyond our control, out of our hands, not our choice.

Not long before Darcy’s day, I made a big bet (completely unrelated to Darcy) that had a very big chance of not working out.

An incredibly long story short, that bet did indeed turn out to be a losing bet. I was lied to and cheated on. Deceived. Taken advantage of and disrespected. My time was wasted. I got severely disappointed (hey, still kinda am). Mad. Angry. Sad. Mad at myself as well.

But you want to know what? Yes, I know you do. I have no regrets. I still believe those things about a yes life that I mentioned even still. That is the only way to live a life. It is too short not to. There are more important things than all that other stuff. I would not have a Merle pup or a Lito man if I did not believe these things. Where would I be without those two!? Or my Cheetah!? Even with Darcy. What if I did not get her when I did? Who would I be and where would I be without having had her in my life???

"No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses."~Herman Melville⁠

The truth is, just like this very life itself, none of it is on our time frames. That is for the Man Upstairs. AHAmoment and do not you forget it.

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My loving boy, Merle. A more beautiful soul never existed. He is a lover of all beings. My chief blessing.
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They seem to like him just as much.
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You see, I indeed did make that choice. Or choices, rather. Nobody else. That is on me. The choice to bet on a person knowing it had a high chance of not working out. If I am being honest, I even felt it deep inside in that hidden place, despite all the words, that it was not going to work out (hey there, gut feeling Holy Spirit, sorry I did not listen you. I am still learning.). I did not listen to it, I wanted it to be different. The way the words (not actions) sounded. It was supposed to be great. You do not win if you do not bid, right? That is what they say. I trusted and said yes. It was my choice. I believed and fought for it.

Here is the thing. I can make another choice right here in the story. And I have. I vowed to myself to continue to say yes and be open in life and opportunities and adventures and, yes, people. To live life in the front row. To learn and be better. Like I said then, I will say it now, I have lived a third of a lifetime (if I am blessed enough to live to old age). I have zero desire to waste any of it, or any more of it.

Lito wanted a rest under his favorite pecan tree. I always oblige. I am generally feeling the same. This is me, not wasting my time.

I have learned and am still learning from my past and all the life that I have lived over 31.5 years. That is what is making me smarter and wiser, so long as I listen to my gut feeling. Learning what He needs me to for His purpose. You have to ‘watch their actions,’ as a wise women told me. Not the words. Believe what you see and what is shown to you. Make the choice to learn it and leave it.

Do not take your time or choices for granted.

Life is still going on all around us whether or not we are going with it. The choice is yours no matter the situation, do not waste it. You can get wrapped up in all the rest if you want. Get mad and angry. I did for a little bit. Then step forward and on. Forward is always the answer, just like with horses. Leg on.

This is also me not wasting my time and my life. Churchill put it best. Except, I was riding bareback.
I have ridden this road since I was 9 and it never gets old.

All of that to say, that, even with all of that, the storms we go through (and we all do go through storms), they do not last. For anyone. We have so many rainbows. So many silver linings. So much wonder and light. So many blessings. That is right, WE. All of us. There is a reason for all of it, a greater purpose. We are learning through the journey to that purpose.

Like I said, I would not have Merle for not that awful day a year and a day ago.

Onward and upwards, my friends.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, and tomorrow is a new, blessed day! Go be your best self and be good to people.

Walk in love, dear readers, I hope these images of my loves brighten your 2020. Or Last Twelve Months And One Day.

Anyone still there? Tap. Tap tap.

Look! The pecans are coming! It is all in the natural way of things.

Winter Wisdom

On By AveryIn Faith, Life, MusicLeave a comment

Winter. There is a ton of symbolism in the season. Whether it be the actual weather and Mother Nature or a very real reflection of a season in your life.

I have a wise friend who wrote some great winter words that I wanted to share with you.

“I will be honest, there’s a lot I don’t get right now about a lot of things & the more I work on it, the more frustrated I feel. I literally post something similar to this every single season because I am forever stubborn and continuously forget the basics of God & faith.
That said, I am all the more thankful that the consistency of seasons is a reflection of God and the steadiness of His character. If you stop and really “consider the lilies,” you can’t escape how Creation reflects the detail oriented nature of God. It shows how He created us to see Him & find Him not just in religion, but in snails, twigs, monarch butterfly migrations, and sunflowers that tilt upward so they can face the sun.
I took a bunch of pictures on a walk through Camp Allen this last weekend at my church’s women’s retreat. I made my friend stop every 3 minutes of our walk because I was distracted by how oddly beautiful dead-looking things become when light shines on them. Romans 1:20 talks about how seeing the visible helps us understand the invisible. What appears to be dead actually isn’t dead, it’s just winter. Winter doesn’t last forever – it stays awhile & through the shorter days, lack of color & seemingly barren/exposed trees all contrasted with light, winter reminds me how paradoxical God is- how my weakness is actually His strength.”

Good, no?

Like I have said before, take comfort in the consistency of the seasons. Of the sunrises and sunsets. No matter what, they show up to party every time. They go on over and over without fail. Whether or not you can see them!

There truly is beauty in all things, even and especially in winter.

Take pecan trees for instance, because we all know how I love them, with or without a Merle man in the frame.

Many on first glance may think they are dead in the winter. They are the first to lose their leaves and they are the very last to get them come spring. Even I start to wonder if they ever will get their leaves as spring might start to feel like summer.

Even still, I can never stop being amazed at the raw beauty in the bareness of their branches in winter. Against a sunrise. Or backed by the strong, bright, and grass growing winter sun. Or reflected in the sunset’s light on the pond. There is beauty even on the dreariest of gray winter days.

Indeed they make an inspiring frame for a sunset of any kind!

Dead pecan tree among the live oaks? Nope. A beautiful and unique one, standing strong waiting out winter for its bloom.

And you know what? They always do get their leaves. Every spring. And I am just as amazed every time.

The same happens for us when winter comes to a close and spring starts to bloom. It may likely feel as if you are wandering aimless in this winter. Trust me, I know. Your feeling of wandering is not without reason or purpose. It is your winter season of waiting. Preparing you for your spring. Take your time and be patient. Have faith. Rest. Be ready. Remember what you are fighting for and hang on tight. Keep your focus on the light.

When your world’s of madness
And you’re burned at both ends
Your walls are closin’ in
Won’t you remember?
Open up your heart
Let yourself unwind
Find peace of mind
Among the wandering
Step into the unknown
Where your path rewinds
See if you can find out
What you came here for
Roll one from the green vine
Disregard the time
Find your peace of mind
Among the wandering
Don’t fear the vendors
Dreams can’t be bought
As long as you don’t sell
What you’ve been fighting for
As long as you don’t sell
What you’ve been fighting for
If your heart’s of anger
And you’re helpless in the end
Won’t you let your friends
Help you remember?
With every box of poison
There’s a ribbon tied
Don’t believe them eyes
When they deceive you
Take a look inside
If you’re so inclined
Just leave some time
For the wandering
Find your peace of mind
Among the wandering
~Ryan Bingham
Walk in love, dear readers, and see the beauty in your winter. Spring is coming, and not just because I am covered in horse hair shed and counting down the days for more daylight.

Lighting Strike

On By AveryIn Faith, Life4 Comments

I was at the farm a couple weeks ago strolling past a special pecan tree while my Merle and I were on a walk. Really they are all special trees just because, but this one is unique.

It is under this special tree’s far reaching branches that offer a favorite shady summer napping spot for all the horses, and myself on occasion, where the final resting places for our old horses lie. Our original heard. All back together. Mansebo was put to sleep under that very tree on a beautiful, sunny day. Indeed under this very tree is my Darcy girl. Her final resting place after a final dip of the paws in the pond to get farm dirty like she liked (I do not know if that will ever stop punching me in the gut).

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My niece took a nap under this tree on a a special day.

So, this is a special pecan tree, obviously, and I generally take special notice of it.

A few years ago it got struck by lightning on a windy and stormy fateful night in late March. I remember the following morning I was feeling anxious and worried as I not so patiently waited for Cheetah to go into labor. I wanted to meet my Lito man! I was riding Ike bareback before I left the farm to go visit Cheetah at the barn she was at to foal out.

Anyway, as I rode under this pecan tree I discovered the previous night’s damage. It appeared extensive and I was immediately saddened. The visible strike ran from the base of the trunk all the way up and out one of the branches to the very tip. On I rode with a sigh and was off to visit my Cheetah.

As the years went by, like they tend to do, I continued to observe that lightning strike on that pecan tree. It eventually morphed and healed into a scar from an open wound. It eventually became part of that tree. Somebody not privileged enough to know that tree’s story might think it grew up just like that. With a unique mark like a person’s hair color or a birth mark, adding to its very beauty.

So. Here is the AHAmoment for you.

Ya, you there.

Brought to you straight from a wise pecan tree.

Have you been feeling fragile lately? On edge? Cracked or about to? Or full on broken? Struck from top to toe?

Last time I checked, broken crayons still color (and hey, I would know. I am a geologist. I color for a living!)! Not only that, they are still colorful and bright as are their drawings! Have you ever even seen all the things you can do with broken crayons? It is fascinating. Really. Go get on Pinterest and just look at all the things you can do.

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What about those cracks you say? Here is the thing about those. They let the light in, my friends! For you and everyone else. Let your light shine! Shine out the darkness!

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A while back (as in just about the beginning) here on AHAmoments in desperation for positivity, I shared a Japanese tradition about how broken objects are repaired.

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Is that not cool?! I have a broken ceramic pot on my patio (thanks, Merle!) that I am going to glue back together. I am then going to paint the cracks gold and remember the beauty.

Just like that special pecan tree, your lighting strike will heal and make you more beautiful and wise than you were before. You will keep on coloring like those broken crayons and you will create a masterpiece. Your golden cracks will be your crown. Have the faith. Embrace it and shine that light. In our weaknesses we are made strong!

Remember that!

Walk in love, dear readers.

Monday Wisdom

On By AveryIn Life6 Comments

Psst. The Monday work day is over, so here is a little something for you. A little funny and a little cute. 

Monday wisdom from the world of Petunia, as I see it. 

Petunia is the wisest and smartest donkey. She has me trained, clearly. 

Here she is. Playing a good game of ‘Where’s Petunia.’ Unassuming. Or so she wants people to think. 


Calling to me like a beacon. Her ears as radars. Sure, I’ll just walk out there. I have fed everyone else. Heaven forbid she go without. 

“No need to come in at feeding time. The girl will come to you and bring you the little, measly offering of a single alfalfa cube that she calls dinner.”


“Be cute and act like you do not need the offering. Stand there picking and choosing from the all you can eat buffet. Then, when she finally gets there, arm stretched out and reaching for you…


steal the alfalfa cube and take off galloping and bucking to the barn.”

Petunia, the wise one. 

Find the humor in all things. 

Stay the course and know that humans are not the top species. 

Enjoy the sunset on your way back and do not tell the men when they get back from the deer stand. 

The end! I hope you had a chuckle at my expense!!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Wardrobe

On By AveryIn Faith, Life, Music9 Comments

As it happens, I was listening to music, like I do, and it got me thinking. Yes, like I do.

It was a Jason Boland & The Stragglers song entitled, “See You When I See You.”

My mother always says that the people in your life are like a Wardrobe. Yes, like a wardrobe (My mother is full of little tidbits like that). It is of a certain size that can only hold so much. There are some people that are in your life for only a season. There are some that are in your life for a few seasons or several years. Then there are some that are, as they say, timeless, that are in your life for the long haul. For the rest of your life.

Have you ever noticed that?

It used to upset me when I was not on the same level of friendship with someone as I once was for no real reason other than life just happened. It made me feel like a bad friend. Like I did something wrong or that it was my fault. My mother would always remind me of the wardrobe analogy. To be honest, it still at times will put me in a slightly melancholic mood.

Here is the thing though. Life just happens, as it should. Even when you may think it is not or you are doing whatever you can to keep it from happening. Each person is on their own path and every single person that comes into your life is a blessing. They are there for a reason.

I am beyond grateful for all the people that used to be in my life, the people that are in my life, and for all the people yet to be in my life. You are all a blessing to me. You are part of what makes me who I am and part of what makes my life, my life. Thank you for everything you have taught me or given me. Thank you for making my life richer, bolder, and full of color. Thank you for the smiles and laughs. Thank you for being there and being you.

I hope I did the same for you.

“Oh, but seasons come for moving
Forces greater than ourselves
But there’s nothing we are losing
Keep it right there on the shelf
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be away back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend”

“They say that we all need companions
And how nobody goes alone
Over mountains and through canyons
From the poor house to the throne

Oh, but time is quite a driver
It lays a whip unto the team
It pulls apart the fibers
‘Til its time we split the seam

I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be a way back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend

Oh, we watched the sun set on us
And then come back up without rest
We spoke of things in honest
All we needed to confess

Oh, but seasons come for moving
Forces greater than ourselves
But there’s nothing we are losing
Keep it right there on the shelf

I guess I’ll see you when I see you
And pray you’re safe and well ’til then
And all the miles that lie between us
Will be a way back in the end
Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend

Oh, the time we shared was a blessing
I’d love to live it all again
I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend

I guess I’ll see you when I see you
Happy travels, my old friend”
~Jason Boland & The Stragglers

I hope you enjoyed the song.

This Wednesday went by extremely fast. I looked at the clock and it was 9 AM. Before I knew it, it was time to go home! Here is to the rest of the week going by just as quickly, so I can get out of the city!

Walk in love, dear readers!

Desire

On By AveryIn Faith, Horses, Life9 Comments

Desire. A thought for the day.

I have and have had many desires in my life as I am sure many of you have. I find the dynamic nature of desires interesting and intriguing. As we learn and grow in life, as we gain wisdom with age, our desires change with our change in perspective. One can learn a lot about themselves, and others, by deciphering where certain desires come from. AHAmoment.

According to Merriam-Webster, the word desire is defined as:

  • Transitive verb: to long or hope for; to express a wish for or to; and most interestingly, to feel the loss of
  • Noun: conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment; longing; craving; formal request or petition for action; something longed or hoped for

To feel the loss of something. I found that interesting to be defined there in just that way. How can you long for something you never had? Can you feel the loss of something you never had? Can you really desire something you have never known? Is it really loss if you never actually had it to lose? I think so. That speaks to how powerful they are and how/why they drive us. I think that is part of what makes our true desires conscious.

What do you think?

I think the loss is very real. The relationship of the parent you never had. Or the child. Or the life. However, just like everything in life, there is a flip side to this coin. Not all loss is bad or negative. Loss can be good. It is, you know, part of the circle of life. Even this change averse gal can admit that. The feeling of loss is powerful in a good way when you no longer desire something that is harmful to you, for instance. Whether it is a person or a group of people or a thing or an idea. Does not matter.

I guess it is all of a piece. Maybe they are the same. The negative feeling of loss of something at first and then you grow and your perspective changes, making the loss positive in light of your changed desires.

I feel like I am quickly going down a hole into accounting.

I will confess that I have desires that I will not speak out loud, for fear of anyone experiencing the loss with me. I guess what it really boils down to is the shame that fear is creating.

I used to have a desire to be a famous horseman that other people looked to. Now, all I want to be famous from each of my horses’ perspectives. To be the best I can be for them. To be a real horseman. My perspective changed. That is something they have taught me through the grace of God.

I used to think I had it all figured out. I had a plan for my career and life. I desired certain things and I felt like I knew how to make them happen. Now, I feel like those desires are slipping away and I am discovering that I am letting them go. Has my perspective changed? I think it is changing. I am not there yet. New desires are not quite there yet. Do I feel loss? I do not know. I think in the beginning I did. Sometimes I feel lost and alone.

Does any of that make sense? Do you ever feel the same? What are your desires?

Far too much introspection for a Friday.

They are predicting rain all weekend, so here is hoping I get some ride time in. I can not complain though since the weather has been absolutely amazing.

Walk in love, dear readers, and have a great weekend. I am walking in faith trying to figure out the desires of my heart in my true self.

Too much? Oh well.

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